Chevy:
More on that protest march out in Colorado Springs later. Now here with an editorial, Miss Emily Littella.
Emily:
What's all this I hear about same - sax attraction. I don't understand. When I was in band in ninth grade we had more than one alto sax. What's wrong with that? And a tenor sax? Everybody likes tenor sax? Why not have three or four. Why when I was in tenth grade I had a crush on Richie Murphy over on tenth street. Is that so wrong. This is outrageous... protesting same sax attraction. What's become of the younger generation... Someone should do something. Why....
Chevy:
No...Emily...no...not same - sax attraction...same sex attraction...same - sex!
Emily
Same sex attraction?
Chevy:
Yes, Emily...same-sex attraction!
Emily
Well...that's quite different then. Same-sex...oh...Never mind! Oh, wait a second...same sex...I had a crush on Violet Spinuzza in seventh grade....this is outrageous...
CUT TO COMMERCIAL
Voiceover:
New...from the makers of
Gay-Naytm
comes a new product - A shampoo that will solve both same-sex attractions AND Transgender issues all in one easy-to-apply shampoo...
Tee-Begonetm
This new shampoo is for you! Teens, kids and even adults will find Tee-Begone is effective for treating gender disorders, transsexualism, transvestism and will even get that Scot in you to gie up ye Kelts!
Just lather rinse and repeat, lather, rinse and repeat, lather, rinse and repeat, lather, rinse and repeat...
***
Caution: This product has not been approved yet by the Food and Drug Administration; research on test subjects have shown that transsexuals may not necessarily dissociate magically with their previous sexual orientation after surgery; Side Effects include but not restricted to: frustration, dissatisfaction with product; depression; alcoholism; drug dependence; drug abuse; self-medicating; self-loathing; self-harm, self-destructive behavior; suicide. Your results may vary; Please consult some one with common sense before using this product.
Back to our programming; already in progress...
Announcer:
Now, fresh from their successful Estro-Generation X Tour, Missy, Patsy, and Baby Sis Pauli, with a hit from their Retro-girl CD, Denver Lament!
It's a old day
but it’s older still
And it's my life
maneuvered by some pill
but everything..it all just sucks the same
Back in Denver
I feel less like me
like a prison
and it’s plain to see
but that bein’ like this is just a fucking shame
that you don’t wanna let me be like me
I don't like the things that you say to me
I'm never gonna be the one you want!
and that’s because I wanna,
CHORUS:
I wanna be trah-ans
don't wanna be a man
oh what I'm saying is
this is the deal here listen to me here!
Me I wanna be me!
Get some couns’ling, Get some therapy
we can help you is what they said to me
but i could never live the way they want
I’m gonna be me, that’s what I confess
Wear some makeup, and pretty dress
And dress up like some transsexual savant!
do you really want me to be like them
do you really want me to feel condemned
do you wanna me to feel like I just failed?
cause I don't ever wanna, I don't ever wanna
(CHORUS)
couns’ling now, real sucks
deliverance, oh I am so fucked
Help get outta this fucking town
don’t wanna be what they want me to be!
name’s not Eddie but Emma
this is the dilemma
throw all your hands up
yall got to feel me,
sing if your with me, yeah
This has been a Movin'Dirt/RaschStatement Joint Production; written by Andrea DiMaggio; Produced by Alison Mary and Directed by Susan Heywood. Catering by Momonoimoto/HalfElvenLoaf Bakery and Organic Restaurant. This is Bobbie C. Speaking!
song based on
It's a New Day
by Good Charlotte
no...sorry...no links for you!
Comments
Same-sax attraction?
Why, I play a multitude of instruments myself! Piano/keyboard, guitar, tin whistle, a smidgen of drums, though not enough to count.
That's the trouble with this young generation. Too afraid of what the neighbors might think to experiment and see what's out there. ^_~
...
*giggle*
Become a Patron for early access ♥
I played sax in H.S
RAMI
I played sax in H.S. Is that why I'm like this today?
Rami
RAMI
Same Sax!!!
I thought it read 'same sox'!!! Well, that certainly makes a difference. Oh well...never mind. Adorable (as in worthy of adoration) and yes...tres funnie!!!
Who else...
Your Brat
Friday Fun Fiesta
Is Same Sax anything like ORGAN sex?
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Sometimes I sit and wonder
and sometimes I just sit.
If two guitars kissed, would they be necking? Mine live in a cupboard in the dark so maybe it turns their libido down a bit. Mind you, I've not checked for any offspring lately. Who knows, perhaps there's a ukelele or two now?
S.
Ukelele's!!
Don't even think such a thing, just the thought and I need to lock my 3 in separate rooms.... Hard cases. Wonder what you get if a Telecaster mates with a Takamine? A semi acoustic Teleomine?
Oh yeah, nice one Drea.
Kristina
Oy!
"Ukelele's" what? Lose that apostrophe! Anyway, you may have noticed that they have been banished from my musical scenery; even the banjo has a better reception!
Huh. So that's where Baby
Huh. So that's where Baby Taylors really come from? And here I thought they were made in Mexico, too ^_^
Become a Patron for early access ♥
Ukelele's OH NO
My uncle's and cousins all played guitars. My dad was challenged.
Then one day, after visiting with my Uncle Bill he comes home with this, this, THING!
It looked like the bastard child of a Martin guitar and a Takamine ukelele.
He called it a "Baritone Uke" Short for Baritone Ukelele. I never even knew such a deviant instument existed. But, I couldn't leave it alone. Oh, Woe is me! I picked up that, that THING and began to make sweet, beautiful music. Tuned like a guitar, shaped like a ukelele with ONLY FOUR STRINGS!!! I began to finger the neck, caressing it for the wonderful sounds it made when I touched it. The strings hummed with life as I stroked them. Together we made sweet, sweet, music.
Then I grew up, and moved away. I've thought about that "Uke" and wondered if my own issues with Gender were related. I've dreamed of being caressed, and being strummed. But alas, it has not yet come to pass.
Still, I miss that sweet sweet music!
Evie
As long
ALISON
'as you don't play with your organ!!
ALISON
Yeah but
She was just hammond it up
side effects
"Side Effects include but not restricted to: frustration, dissatisfaction with product; depression; alcoholism; drug dependence; drug abuse; self-medicating; self-loathing; self-harm, self-destructive behavior; suicide. Your results may vary; Please consult some one with common sense before using this product."
I think I have tried this one....
"I'm not like other people - Pain hurts me!" - Daffy Duck.
dorothycolleen
Shades Of Bill Clinton
"I did not have sax with that sex!" Er....I mean...
"That was just my lips movin'. I had to suck to wet my whistle."
"No! No! Don't take blue Cecilia away from me. Those stains are only dribble, I swear!"
"Are you feelin' lucky, punk?" Oops,
Joanne
Lucky punks
That was Clintin', not Clinton.