Friday's Fiesta of Fun



Friday's Fiesta of Fun!


Chevy:

More on that protest march out in Colorado Springs later. Now here with an editorial, Miss Emily Littella.

Emily:

What's all this I hear about same - sax attraction. I don't understand. When I was in band in ninth grade we had more than one alto sax. What's wrong with that? And a tenor sax? Everybody likes tenor sax? Why not have three or four. Why when I was in tenth grade I had a crush on Richie Murphy over on tenth street. Is that so wrong. This is outrageous... protesting same sax attraction. What's become of the younger generation... Someone should do something. Why....

Chevy:

No...Emily...no...not same - sax attraction...same sex attraction...same - sex!

Emily

Same sex attraction?

Chevy:

Yes, Emily...same-sex attraction!

Emily

Well...that's quite different then. Same-sex...oh...Never mind! Oh, wait a second...same sex...I had a crush on Violet Spinuzza in seventh grade....this is outrageous...

CUT TO COMMERCIAL



Voiceover:

New...from the makers of
Gay-Naytm
comes a new product - A shampoo that will solve both same-sex attractions AND Transgender issues all in one easy-to-apply shampoo...
4683shampoo_0.jpg
Tee-Begonetm

This new shampoo is for you! Teens, kids and even adults will find Tee-Begone is effective for treating gender disorders, transsexualism, transvestism and will even get that Scot in you to gie up ye Kelts!

Just lather rinse and repeat, lather, rinse and repeat, lather, rinse and repeat, lather, rinse and repeat...
***

Caution: This product has not been approved yet by the Food and Drug Administration; research on test subjects have shown that transsexuals may not necessarily dissociate magically with their previous sexual orientation after surgery; Side Effects include but not restricted to: frustration, dissatisfaction with product; depression; alcoholism; drug dependence; drug abuse; self-medicating; self-loathing; self-harm, self-destructive behavior; suicide. Your results may vary; Please consult some one with common sense before using this product.

Back to our programming; already in progress...

Announcer:

Now, fresh from their successful Estro-Generation X Tour, Missy, Patsy, and Baby Sis Pauli, with a hit from their Retro-girl CD, Denver Lament!

It's a old day
but it’s older still
And it's my life
maneuvered by some pill
but everything..it all just sucks the same

Back in Denver
I feel less like me
like a prison
and it’s plain to see
but that bein’ like this is just a fucking shame

that you don’t wanna let me be like me
I don't like the things that you say to me
I'm never gonna be the one you want!
and that’s because I wanna,

CHORUS:

I wanna be trah-ans
don't wanna be a man
oh what I'm saying is
this is the deal here listen to me here!
Me I wanna be me!

Get some couns’ling, Get some therapy
we can help you is what they said to me
but i could never live the way they want

I’m gonna be me, that’s what I confess
Wear some makeup, and pretty dress
And dress up like some transsexual savant!

do you really want me to be like them
do you really want me to feel condemned
do you wanna me to feel like I just failed?
cause I don't ever wanna, I don't ever wanna

(CHORUS)

couns’ling now, real sucks
deliverance, oh I am so fucked
Help get outta this fucking town

don’t wanna be what they want me to be!

name’s not Eddie but Emma
this is the dilemma
throw all your hands up
yall got to feel me,
sing if your with me, yeah

This has been a Movin'Dirt/RaschStatement Joint Production; written by Andrea DiMaggio; Produced by Alison Mary and Directed by Susan Heywood. Catering by Momonoimoto/HalfElvenLoaf Bakery and Organic Restaurant. This is Bobbie C. Speaking!

song based on
It's a New Day
by Good Charlotte
no...sorry...no links for you!



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