The McDonough home; December 2024; a few weeks before Christmas…

I pray you'll be our eyes, and watch us where we go
And help us to be wise in times when we don't know
Let this be our prayer, when we lose our way
Lead us to a place, guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be safe

Ione and Maggie sat on the couch in the nearly abandoned family room; two kids now in their twenties both home from college. A video of two sisters singing a hopeful song played on laptop on the coffee table. Hopeful? The past few weeks felt as if everything was darkening

Ione had a soft brown plushie toy dog in her lap; her right hand clutching it as she tried without success with her left hand to push away her sister Maggie’s attention.

“I… I can’t care anymore. Mags…..I give up.”

“You…you know we can’t give up.” Maggie pulled the tissue away from Ione’s face, but only so she could kiss Ione’s tears.

“It… it was hard enough when Ei…when Eileen…” Ione allowed Maggie in, so to speak, as her sister continued to kiss her face.

“I hate it, Mags. How could they?” Ione suddenly stood up; the toy dog falling to the floor.

“I hate it too, Ione! I’m not sure I can be around them!” She stood up and hugged Ione.

“We…can try… not everybody… Lisa and Dave are with us all the way. Aunt Moira, too. If the others start in, we can do like your counselor says? Walk outside for a bit…”

“She likes my little phrase…” Ione shook her head; slower and more deliberate.

“You mean ‘Jesus wouldn’t vote for a rapist’” She began to laugh, but checked herself. So many things to be sadly disappointed; especially in light of the now unveiled disdain girls like Ione endured... like they feared someone else they loved would also endure.

“It’s like everything they claim they stand for doesn’t matter any more.” Ione’s fists balled up and she began to shake.

“I’m so angry at Eileen. Part of me still feels abandoned. If it weren’t for you and a couple of our cousins…” She shook her head; more in remonstration at her anger at the cousin who took her own life.

“My therapist is a lot like yours, sis.” Maggie ribbed Ione’s arm.

“She reminds me that it's okay to be angry. Eileen was so hurt by being denied. The treatment… the neglect…” It was bad enough in life, but to be buried as her ‘dead’ self; as painfully ironic as life could ever be.

“We can’t…” Maggie choked back a sob.

When stars go out each night
When shadows fill our day
Lead us to a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe

“I know, Mags… it’s like the words of Sam...”

“That there’s some good in this…th…” Maggie stammered as she fell into her sister and sobbed.

“That is still some good in this world…and it is worth fighting for…” Ione kissed Maggie on the top of her head before reaching down to pick up the toy dog; the only visible evidence that while it was Allen their family buried, it was Eileen who lived and breathed. The toy dog was cast aside just like Eileen,

Ione looked upward; almost to somehow catch a glimpse of Eileen in the embrace of her savior. She thought again of Sam and Frodo even as she remembered their cousin Lana; a twelve-year old girl 'just like her' who would hopefully be at the family meal; wondering out loud even as she stared at the toy dog destined for new hands.

“We… we have to hope… Mags… will we ever…” Ione bowed her head until Maggie wiped away both their tears and said at last,

“We may yet.”

let this be our prayer
Just like every child, just like every child
Need to find a place
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe

Remember Me by this author
https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/92149/remember-me

The Prayer was written by David Foster, Carole Bayer Sager, Tony Renis, and Alberto Testa.
As performed by Lucy and Martha Thomas

2024-11-19 10:13:57 -0400