...broadcasting live here at West Boudoir Field. The play has been down and dirty on the pitch all match long. Oh look! The referee has just called REAL LIFE for kicking Smith in the arse. And within the box. That's a Yellow Card for REAL LIFE and a free kick for Smith.

That's right Hugh, and I might add it's not the first time REAL LIFE has kicked a player in the arse. Several players have been sidelined all over the league, and some have left the game for good, but not without a fight! REAL LIFE should have received a RED CARD this time!

"Och, don't get me goin' Jackie Boy. There's somethin' wrong when REAL LIFE doesn't get the boot for that behavior. In fact, most of the players in the league would like to see a permanent ban for REAL LIFE, but for some reason the league has been almost helpless to see its way clear to kick REAL LIFE's arse, so I expect that the players are gonna have to do it themselves."

Oh Bloody Hell!

* * * * *

Mummy? Can we pray for Evie Smith? Daddy had the telly on and they were sayin' that REAL LIFE kicked her in the arse.

Of course, baby girl. But we'll have to pray for strength for her. Yer Daddy says that REAL LIFE canna be banished or even expelled because apparently it's Commissioner of the League. And I heard from your Auntie Drea that REAL LIFE has it written in the rule book that it can kick anybody in the arse...even spectators...whenever it wants. So we best pray that Evie can give a good and proper boot in REAL LIFE's arse. Okay?

Okay! And Mummy?

Yes, Jenn my girl?

When I grow up can I give REAL LIFE a boot in the arse?

Why yes you can. In fact, I bet you can give REAL LIFE a right proper boot in the arse right now!

Oh, Goodie!!!!