Mr. Rosignuolo's
Neighborhood

It's a fairly nice day in my neighborhood
It's really not so bad in my neighborhood
But we're running late
So we'll just end it here

Mr. Rosignuolo:

Hello. I‘m awfully glad you could be here today. We’re friends, and friends always look forward to seeing each other, don’t we? It’s raining in my neighborhood, so we’ll stay indoors, okay?

Let’s see what Mr. McFarley brought in the post today, alright? My my, Mr. R. has an awful lot of bills; maybe we just might have to get some candles out, just in case the Power Company gets a bit testy. Oh, the shut off isn’t until next Friday. Maybe my disability check will come on time for a change and we won’t have to cook over a Coleman stove?

Oh, look here. It’s another friend of mine coming to pay a visit; Bill Automobile? I’ll just put him with his friends, Bill Cable and Bill Insurance and hope they can wait along with Bill Power here until the check comes.

Oh, listen, friends? Do you hear that? Mr. Railway is coming thru the tunnel! Here he is….what’s that? David Tiger has something very important to tell us? Alright. Why don’t we go over to the Kingdom of King Tuesday the Seventh and see what’s going on, okay?

Well, now, look who’s waiting for us? It’s Lady Belvedere and Lady Ford Fairlaine! My my, don’t they look pretty. Well, at least Lady Belvedere. Lady Ford‘s paint has started to chip off her nose, and her left hand seems to be hanging by a thread. Too sad, I’d say.

Lady Belvedere:

Hello, Mr. Rosignuolo, I’m so glad to see you and our friends today.

Mr. Rosignuolo:

What’s new in the Kingdom of King Tuesday the Seventh? I bet there’s a lot of news to tell, yes?

Lady Belvedere:

Well, King Tuesday is donating a lot of money to charity. He’s running for Emperor and he’ll need all the support he can get after that DWI with Prince Saturday After Closing. And Queen Susan Sunday has already checked into Dr. Roger Wombat’s Rehab Center.

Mr. Rosignuolo:

Oh, my, I hope she’ll be alright, don’t you agree, dear friends?

Lady Belvedere:

She’s been putting away pills faster than that Limbaugh guy on the radio, but she’ll be alright as long as she stays away from Princess Lindsay of Lohania.

Lady Fairlaine:

Yeah….that girl is BAAAAAAAD News!

Mr. Rosignuolo:

What about David Tiger? I heard he has something important to tell us?

Lady Fairlaine:

Yeah!!!

Lady Belvedere:

Why don’t we walk over to his clock and ask him? Who's that over by his clock?

Mr. Rosignulo:

Oh, it’s Katherine Kitty Kat. Hi, Katherine Kitty Kat! I’m so glad to see you! Aren’t you also, dear friends?

Katherine Kitty Kat:

Meow Meow OwwWWW!

Lady Belvedere:

What’s wrong Katherine Kitty Cat? You seem to be in pain!

Katherine Kitty Kat:

Meow Meow NJ Transit Bus run over tail Meow Meow……

Lady Fairlaine:

You could be living in Bayonne, toots!

Katherine Kitty Kat:

Meow Meow glad not to live in Bayonne or even Perth Amboy Meow Meow!!!!

Mr. Rosinuolo:

Is David Tiger around?

Katherine Kitty Kat:

Meow Meow David just got back from Endocrinologist…..Meow Meow!

Lady Belvedere:

Oh Jeez, I know what that’s like! (face turns red; stammers) Oh….yes…..because I heard it from Diane Sawyer on ABC Nightly News.

Lady Fairlaine:

Yeah, and I’m the Duchess of Jersey City. Hey, Belvie, honey…..I just noticed you wear scarves around your neck a lot…even in July!

Lady Belvedere:

Shh. Shh.

Mr. Rosignuolo:

Children? Lady Belvedere is sad because she’s been outed. Do you want to help me sing a song? Okay.

I like you just the way you are
Even if you drive an ugly car
You’ll be better off by far
If you face the truth, you will!

I love the way you walk
I love the way you talk
You’ll be better off by far
Since we know your name was Bill!

Lady Belvedere:

Oh, Mr. Rosignuolo, I feel better already. I think I might even start going again to my support group!

Lady Fairlaine:

Nice! Hey…who did your chin?

Mr. Rosignuolo:

Well, it’s always good to tell the truth, everybody, don’t you think?

Lady Belvedere:

Why it’s David Tiger. How are you David?

David Tiger:

Hello, Mr. Rosignuolo. I’m fine, now that I got a few things off my….well I’m feeling great. Except when I’m not and when my hormones are wacky and now that I have to use that thing to…..oh, Hi, boys and girls….Mr. Rosignuolo didn’t tell me or Mr. Director about being on camera for this, wow this is embarrassing!

I like you just the way you are
Even if you aren’t the way you started out
I think you’re cute and cuddly
So tell me what SRS is all about

Here’s Mr. Railway. What? Mrs. Rosignuolo is home? She totaled the Escalade? Oh my! I guess we’ll have to go see Mr. Adjuster. Children? It's time to go!

It’s a nice feeling to know you’re right here
And it’s a nice feeling; much nicer my dear
When you don’t have to hide from head to toes
And it’s okay to wear your mother’s clothes

Yes it’s a great feeling...a great great feeling...
a great great feeling my friend!!!!

David Tiger:

Oh, and by the way, you can call me Mitzi Tiger from now on!

Mr. Rosignuolo:

Bye until next time, boys and girls and boys as girls and girls as boys and boys who like boys and girls who like girls and all those nice permutations that make some of your parent’s hair turn gray but it’s okay in the end for some of you who have Mommies and Daddies who understand and support you and for those of you who have friends who would like to make up for the Mommies and Daddies who don’t.

Lady Belvedere:

Yep...Thursday nights in the basement of St. John's Episcopal Church in Boonton.

Mitzi Tiger:

Can I catch a ride? My Subaru is in the shop. Maybe we can stop at Reservoir Tavern after? They have Wings for 10 cents and their Veal Parm is to die for!

Parody of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood

Mr. Rosignuolo’s Neighborhood is brought to you by National Public Television; by a grant from AussieTRANSport and by contributions by viewers like you. This has been a Movin’Dirt Production. Copyright 2011 by Children’s Gender Workshop, Ltd.