---

---

---

---

The Flynn home, Morton Grove, Illinois....

Calleigh put her purse on the table by the front door. She picked up the pile of mail that Bobby had placed for her review. Bills and more bills, at one time discouraging; they had since become nothing more than a mere distraction. She set them aside and looked through the remainder, focusing on a nicely lettered envelope.....

Mr. and Mrs. Robert K. Flynn.

Probably an invitation to Susan's wedding. It amazed her how quickly things had changed for her. She met Bobby in church of all things only a year before. After a long disappointing spiritual journey she had settled on an Evangelical church situated in the same neighborhood as the clinic where she worked.

"Hi, I'm Calleigh McMartin, I'm a veterinarian." That she was transgender was left unsaid, at least for the moment. She had dreaded her introduction, having been immediately rebuked at the first six churches and 'tolerated' at the last two as a sinner needing redemption.

That she felt a sinner, there was no doubt; she was just as capable of being indifferent and uncaring and perhaps being self-centered at anyone else. But that was the sticking point in their minds as well as hers. How 'much' of a sinner seemed to be the question. When she introduced herself a nice older lady (older being about eighty-eight) placed her hand on Calleigh's arm and smiled.

"Hi, I'm Calleigh McMartin...I hope I fit in."

"That's okay...we take anyone here," which immediately caused the hair on the back of Calleigh's neck to bristle until the woman continued.

"They let me in here, after all,” followed by a strong pull downward as the little old lady kissed her like a grandmother.

"It's okay, honey...welcome home."

She had been going to the church for about three weeks, trying to remain in the periphery of congregants that sat in the back, seeking a quick exit. One morning she ran late, and was forced to sit in one of the "3D" seats in the front of the church....you know, the seats with the view that is too close and overwhelms? Only this time, it wasn't so much her own view that seemed too close, but the critical eye of the man speaking that morning.

Bobby Flynn was the 'performing arts' pastor of the church, which really meant he was the worship leader and erstwhile director of a small but growing drama group. He stood behind the podium and made a plea for the members to consider participating in the group; its purpose initially was to help illustrate the pastor's sermons once monthly. Bobby was very animated and stepped from behind the podium several times; once stepping up to the front row.

"Perhaps this young lady might be the next Meryl Streep," he said, pointing with a broad gesture of his hand to Calleigh. She felt two things immediately as he jaunted quickly back up the platform steps.

First, her face grew very warm, and she knew if she had a mirror her cheeks would appear crimson. And she realized also that the warmth and redness wasn't just because of the embarrassment of being singled out, but also because Bobby Flynn was a very nice young man to whom Calleigh found herself attracted. She tried in vain for the rest of the service to both sink lower in her chair and pay attention to the pastor's message.

"Hello, I'm glad to meet you," the pastor said as Calleigh shook his hand after the service.

"Hi. I've been coming here for a while." She smiled as he looked to the back of the church and looked back at her.

"I completely understand. There are some Sundays that I wished I was sitting back there myself." He laughed, which put her more at ease.

"I see you've already met Bobby Flynn," he said, recalling the awkward moment earlier.

"Yes...he makes a good argument for participation; very convincing." She looked back up at the podium where he had stood.

"Well, don't feel pressured to join the group. We don't want folks to do anything unless they believe that's what they should be about. I understand you're a veterinarian. My favorite all-time TV series is All Creatures Great and Small, and I know there's a special place in God's heart for those who care for animals."

Calleigh looked at him nervously, wondering just how much he knew about her until he added.

"Mrs. Barone keeps me abreast of all the comings and goings. She's an elder, believe it or not." Calleigh found it almost hard to believe in fact. Women in leadership in the church and open arms as well? This truly was a great place to be.

"We usually don't canvass for help; most folks just tell us what they're doing already or plan to do to help folks and we come along side them and offer support. My job here basically is to help you and others discover what your 'job' is in the kingdom and encourage you. It would seem you've already found your calling, but if you'd like to put your hand to something, let me or Mrs. B. or any of the other folks here and we'll see if there's anyone who you might find helpful.

Calleigh didn't know what her calling was, but she was convinced for certain that it wasn't drama as she recalled the too-welcoming smile of Bobby Flynn.

---

Morton Grove Animal Hospital, a few days later...

"Dr. McMartin, could you get the front? I've got my hands full with Ginger Calcaveccia here," Cindy said as she wrestled with the Calcaveccia's Golden Retriever. As Calleigh walked into the reception area, she noticed familiar figure sitting in the waiting room with an animal carrier beside him on the bench.

"What's up, Doc,” Bobby Flynn said with a laugh, doubly meaningful as he held up the carrier with the door facing Calleigh, revealing a rabbit.

"Bugs?" She said, reflexively. He smiled and shook his head.

"Jessica Rabbit...she can't help it, she was just created this way." He laughed again as Calleigh leaned over the counter.

"Well, Jessica, what can we do for you today, young lady?" Calleigh asked, immediately placing her focus on the rabbit.

"I cut my hand on my fender changing a tire yesterday." Bobby explained.

"Well, Jessica, changing tires doesn't seem to be your forte'“ Calleigh laughed at her own joke and then felt her face redden as Bobby looked into her eyes and smiled.

"Actually, I changed the tire while she supervised," he said as he held up his bandaged hand.

"I can't seem to get a good grip on the nail clippers and she really needs a trim." He laughed softly and smiled warmly at her.

"We...we can help you with that. Put her on the counter and I'll get right to that." Once again, Calleigh hoped her focus on the animal would alleviate the awkwardness between her and Bobby Flynn; one sided it would seem as he continued to smile at her.

After a few moments Jessica was back in her carrier and Bobby Flynn was reaching to his pocket for his wallet.

"Oh...no charge. Anyone that's a friend of Jessica's a friend of mine." Calleigh immediately regretted her attempt at cute humor almost before the words left her mouth. It was cute and funny, but it drew Bobby's big welcoming green eyes back to hers once again.

"That's very kind of you. I did want to apologize to you for Sunday. I usually point to Joey Petrocelli...my audience 'shill' when I make my appeal for participation, but he was home with the flu. I'm sorry to have embarrassed you, but you're always welcome to join the group if drama and/or music is your forte'.

"That's okay. I played trumpet in high school and not all that well. I sing when I'm home alone, but I don't know if anyone would care to hear me sing anything in public." She smiled awkwardly.

"Well...if your singing is anything like your speaking voice I'm quite sure you'd sound just fine." He smiled and Calleigh felt her face grow warm once again.

"If you'd like to, worship practice is Friday at 7 at the church and we usually rehearse whatever skit we're working on Saturday morning at 10. You're welcome anytime." It almost seemed like he emphasized the word 'you,' which Calleigh expected had caused her cheeks to grow redder. He smiled once again and nodded before walking out the door. She heard him singing as the door closed behind him,

"I know my redeemer lives...." She turned and faced the wall, noticing her reflection in the glass covering her diploma. Could he know?

Welcome Arms Fellowship....Friday evening...

Calleigh walked into the sanctuary, trying to be inconspicuous, but the church was nearly empty apart from the worship team at the front of the church.

"Dr. McMartin...I'm so glad you could come tonight. Why don't you come up and meet everybody." Calleigh had hoped to sit in the back and just listen for a while, but there was no escape.

"Hi, I'm Jennie Carbone. I play guitar. That's my big brother Tim up on the platform behind the drums,' a petite redhead said as she offered her hand. Tim waved with his drumsticks before hitting the hi-hat.

"I'm Dave Washington,” the tall African-American said as he pointed to his bass.

"I'm Julia, Dave's wife. I sing harmony to Bobby's lead. Do you sing? I bet you sound awesome." Her bright smile was the most welcoming countenance Calleigh had ever seen.

"I sing a little."

This was getting very awkward very fast, and not because of the new people she was meeting. She remembered that the last time she sang in church was when she sang in the boy’s choir at St. Michael's back in Chicago. How far she'd come, but still part of her remained stuck in the past. She was about to find out that her past would finally be past.

"I hardly feel like I fit in with all of you... I think I’ll just sing along for tonight, but I don't know if I'm ready to get up in front of a group of people." Here she was, a professional with a doctorate in veterinary medicine as well as a master's in social work, and yet the shy little boy in her still hung on tenaciously, unwilling to let her move on it seemed. Bobby hopped down from the platform and ran up to her, hugging her unexpectedly.

"I'm so glad you came, Calleigh. You'll fit in just fine, but don't worry. We'll stick you in the back behind the old organ and you can just sing along softly if you like." He pointed to the old Wurlitzer gathering dust on the platform.

"You might say we're like the Island of Misfit Toys, but with flesh and blood instead of plastic and wood, " Tim said as he stood up, revealing that he wore shorts that did much to complement his very muscular right leg and his prosthetic left leg.

"100% government issue." He smiled as he played a beat on the fiberglass with his sticks.

"I'm eighteen months clean and sober," Jennie said as she hugged Calleigh, kissing her softly on the cheek.

"Don't worry...you'll be just fine."

"Dave and Julia are our youth pastors. They sorta had to leave their last church after their stand for gays met with the decided disapproval with their church board." Bobby said as he stepped next to the couple.

"And what would your misfit status be," Calleigh felt herself thinking as she watched Bobby turn to hug the two friends. He turned back and said softly,

"So whatever you're thinking about your own lack of talent or whatever, I'm sure you'll fit in just fine.

---

---

Over the next few months Calleigh felt herself growing more confident about her singing. She had a nice alto, not overpowering, but sweet and very complementary to Bobby's and Julia's voices. She still stood back, but was less likely to leave quickly after the service. She hadn't revealed anything of her past, nor did she feel compelled to do so, but the nagging doubts would arise from time to time as the little boy inside her spoke.

"I'm still here and I'm not going anywhere, and you're a liar!" She still cried herself to sleep from time to time, feeling inauthentic and dishonest. She felt the need to open up, but to whom? The question was answered one Sunday after church.

"Honey...you seem to be troubled lately." The soft hands of Connie Barone held Calleigh's face as she kissed her cheeks.

"Oh, I'm fine, Mrs. B." Like you've heard all along, anyone who says they're 'fine' usually isn't. Mrs. B. patted Calleigh's cheek and smiled.

"You may be a lot of things, but a liar isn't one of them. What's wrong, honey?"

"Oh, Mrs. B....I...I've got a secret....If anyone found out...." Calleigh began to cry softly.

"Whatever it is, it can't be worse than anyone else's...You can tell me...I listen good and I don't talk! Come...sit down here...we're pretty much alone with everybody in the fellowship hall for lunch.

"I don't know...I'm so afraid." Calleigh rarely cried in front of anyone; the last time being when Penny Simpson's collie had died and she had to tell Penny.

"You can be like a daughter to me, honey...what's wrong?"

"I'm...I'm not who I seem to be."

"None of us are, child....what's wrong? Mrs. Barone was gentle but insistent.

"I'm transs....."

"Transsexual?" She smiled with the most welcoming smile that Calleigh had ever seen. Calleigh looked at her askance.

"Well, I may be in my eighties, dear, but I'm pretty much with it!" She laughed softly.

"You mean you don't...."

"Mind? Why should I? You're a very nice young lady and you seem to be as kind and caring as anyone should be. You sing like an angel... maybe a very quiet one...and you love God. Why would I care?" Just a few words from a woman she hardly knew, but that day the little boy inside her shrugged his shoulders, not in surrender so much as understanding that he and she were the same person, and that his future lay in her hands, as it were. It almost seemed like a parting whisper as she heard,

"Just don't forget me, okay?" He said and she almost felt a peck on the cheek as his presence finally melded into hers.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" Mrs. Barone put her hand on Calleigh's arm and smiled warmly.

"I'm okay...really...at least as far as that's concerned. You just..." Calleigh's tears were still mixed between joy and sadness.

"What else is going on, sweetheart?"

"I'm...I'm..."

"Falling in love?" Sharp as a tack, as the saying goes, Mrs. B. patted her on the arm, causing her eyes to grow wide.

"Don't worry...your secret is safe with me. I remember when my Patty met Angelo for the first time...she had the same look you do...they've been married for thirty-eight years."

"That's wonderful....I'm so glad for them." Calleigh sighed.

"It can be wonderful for you, honey....I'll let you in on a secret...not so much a secret, but something you may not have noticed. Bobby may be very confident behind that microphone, but out in front of people in real life he's awfully shy. He hasn't been all that good around people other than when he's singing or acting in those little dramas your group does."

"How does that happen?"

"We all hide in a way from time to time. He hasn't been able to be himself so much since his wife died."

"Bobby was married?" she asked, shaking her head in unbelief. Bobby was about her age, which would make him twenty-six or so.

"He got married right out of high school. She died of an aneurysm just before their first anniversary. Probably the saddest day for the church. After that he threw himself into studying, and got a music degree. He's been the music pastor since...going on I guess about four years."

"That's so sad....I wondered about him...he seemed so...."

"Broken? Oh not like damaged, but broken inside. He's really the most humble gentle man I've ever met, and at nearly ninety I've met a great deal of folks." She laughed softly.

"But that's just it...why would he want someone like me after having such a beautiful story?"

"If you mean someone who is a nice girl? Who knows? But don't let your past get in the way of what God wants to do right now, okay?" She patted her lightly on the cheek and smiled before getting up.

"Come now...let's go get something to eat. I heard Mrs. Lazzara made calzones!"

Mrs. B. also knew another secret; one that she was dying to reveal but would leave it to the secret-holder to tell.

---

---

A few weeks later, after music practice...

"Calleigh, do you have a couple of minutes?" Bobby said softly, putting his hand on her arm. She pulled back a bit nervously but answered,

"Yes," adding in thought, "for you, anything." He smiled at her.

"I have something I'd like to talk with you about...a couple of things." He smiled hoping that any answer for the first question would give him courage for the second. She nodded, giving him at least enough strength to continue.

"I'd like you to consider singing a solo sometime next month. You have a very nice voice; it's sweet and gentle, and I think you'd do a great job. You don't have to answer now, but just think about it, okay." He put his hand on her shoulder, a non-threatening gesture to be sure, but it was somewhat threatening none-the-less. But her talk with Mrs. Barone had given her courage as well.

"Su...sure....I'll do it. But I have to talk with you about something before you decide for sure if you really want me to sing, okay." She put her head down slightly, missing his smile.

"I have to ask you one more thing, okay? Let me ask you this first?" His voice spoke warmly but there was a tremble in it as well.

"Oh...okay." She almost wanted to blurt out her secret; getting it over quickly would alleviate at least some of the pain when he rejected her.

"I've....I've grown.....fond of you. I ....you probably have heard about me and Christine? I...I thought I'd never..." His eyes were filled with tears, but she still had her head lowered, and she clenched her teeth as he continued. Worse than being rejected, she feared his love and then his disdain as he learned who she really was.

"I'm....I'm in love with you, Dr. McMartin...very much..."

"But...you don't know anything about me...if you knew who I really was?"

"What? A kind and caring person? A creative, simply beautiful child of God? What, Calleigh?"

"I'm...I'm transsexual." With that horrible confession she burst into tears. Her hand flew up to her face as she covered it in shame. A moment later she felt gentle hands pull her hand away from her face."

"You're the most precious person I know...don't get me wrong..." She shuddered at the qualifier she expected to hear but he touched her cheek and raised her chin.

"I'll never forget Christine...she was my first love; my childhood sweetheart; she filled my world for so short a time. I'd like it if you would do the same thing for me....for a very long time."

"Didn't you hear what I said...I'm a sham...a fake? If you knew me back then we'd have played on the same soccer team...hung out and played Nintendo...I was a guy."

"No you weren't...." His voice was a soft but firm rebuke.

"You were a young woman with a need to become who you always were." His caressed her cheek with the back of his hand; the hairs on his hand brushing against her face.

"And now you're exactly who you're supposed to be...up to this point."

"But you...."

"I'm going to tell you something about me. I have a very stubborn streak; I don't take no lightly. You're a beautiful woman...at least in my eyes, and I expect in a lot more folks' eyes here as well."

She choked back a sob.

"But as much as they've grown to accept you, they don't see even more of what I see; that you're the woman I've fallen in love with; past and all. You know about my past and that my heart was broken. I thought beyond repair, but your voice and your gentle hands...the way you tend to your animals ...the way you take so much time to listen to our team and find just the right thing to say to encourage them. The way you look at me when you think I'm not looking. Yes...I've seen that." He laughed again, but more at himself.

"I love you, Calleigh McMartin, and I have a feeling that you love me...or at least would love me if you actually gave yourself a chance.” He cupped her cheek and kissed her softly on the lips. It was the first kiss for them and her first kiss ever. She gave into the moment, crying softly as her lips surrendered to his.

"I love you....so much." He said it again and while she made no sound other than a soft cooing, he knew that she loved him as well.

---

---

Back in the present...

"Dear Calleigh,
I wanted to write this note to you in addition to the invitation. You've been such an encouragement to me. I wouldn't have had the courage to love and to let love in. You're a blessing to both Dave and me, and I'm so glad you're my friend. Much love, Susan Martinez."

Calleigh smiled and laid the note on the table next to the invitation. She looked at the clock. Bobby wouldn't be home for another hour or so. She kicked off her shoes and walked over to the couch. Sighing at the sight of her wedding band, she smiled once again before laying down for a very well-earned nap.

Thanks to everyone who stuck around to the end of this series!

---

---