Three Girls Finale Book Five Chapter Twenty-Three Somewhere by Andrea Lena DiMaggio

Previously...

I don’t know what to let go of, Ter…or what to grab onto when my hands are free.” Danni began to sob again. Terri cupped her cheek with her hand and supported it while she kissed the bridge of Danni’s nose and felt the flutter of her sister’s eyelids.
“Shhh….shhhh….we’ll figure it out together. I just have to believe we’ll figure it out. We just need some help.” Terri pulled Danni close and hummed softly; a lullaby tune she had made just for Danni when they were little. Soon the two had fallen asleep awaiting the help that would come in a completely unexpected but not unfamiliar form.

There's a time for us
Some day a time for us
Time together
With time to spare
Time to learn
Time to care
Someday

The Davies sisters' apartment...the Sunday before Christmas...

The sound of Faure's Pavane filled the apartment. Danni idly moved her fingers to the music; her eyes closed in near rapture. She barely heard the clinking of glasses and plates as Yuki finished the dishes. Lainie and Gennie and the rest of the guests had already departed, leaving Danni and Yuki to attend to the remainder of the holiday. Terri had fallen asleep on the couch; this time happily more because of the soft and soothing sound of the music rather than the exhaustion that usually plagued her afternoons and evenings.

“Would you like some tea?” Yuki called out from the kitchen. Hearing no reply, she poured a cup for her and for Danni and brought them into the living room and placed her cup on the table in front of the sofa. She spoke again, this time a bit louder.

“Hey…got some tea for you, okay?” Danni raised her head slightly and half-smiled. The tea was welcome, as was her sister’s partner’s company. It was an odd relationship since Danni’s music had almost drawn her away from her own pain, but in doing so, drew her away from the burgeoning romance right in front of her eyes; eyes that preferred not to look at love, lest they be disappointed.

“I’m sorry; it must feel like I’m intruding. You and Terri are so close. I didn’t mean to come between you, and I hope I haven’t hurt you in any way.” This coming from a young lady all too well acquainted with hurt as a widow who only now was recovering from her loss; a loss that was cushioned and surrounded and treasured by the love of a girl with her own pain and grief.

“That’s okay.” Danni said lamely, looking away.

“No, it’s not. You seemed so far away during dinner; like something was pulling you from us.” Yuki looked out the window as if some force was still in operation; working against Danni’s need for connection there and now.

“I…it’s hard to explain. It’s not okay, but it is, if that makes any sense?” She put her head down in thought before continuing.

“I’m not upset with you; it’s just that I’ve lost so much in the past few years. And I didn’t even realize how much it hurt until recently. My best friend besides Terri left to go home to take care of her mom, and she…well.” Danni had promised herself she wasn’t going to cry; at least until the clock struck 12:01 and it was no longer Thanksgiving.

“She found someone else?” Yuki’s words seemed almost blunt, but her voice seemed to coax Danni to continue with a welcome and care almost as tender as her sister’s.

“Yes.” Danni shook her head. She put the cup of tea back on the table and stood up.

“I’m …I’m sorry…I…I can’t talk any longer, okay?” She said quickly before walking to her room and shutting the door, leaving Yuki feeling unable to help her new ‘sister.’

Later...

“Oh…hi…” Terri said, raising her head slightly.

“I guess I needed to rest, huh?” She had gotten past apologizing all the time for her illness; rest was necessary and expected in order for her to face it with any degree of success. Yuki nodded and got up and walked to the couch. Instead of sitting on the end, she drew close and motioned for Terri to lift up; sitting down, she cradled Terri’s head in her lap.

“I think you’re getting a bit better, don’t you?” Like any immune-related illness, the reduction of stress was vital for Terri, and nothing could have reduced her stress like the love of the young woman who held her at that moment.

“I have you to thank, Yu…funny….I love Yu.” Terri laughed at the pun, but it was true; she was indebted to Yuki for the remission of sorts that she was undergoing. And not just from the disease. While she had remained a bright beacon of hope for others, her own heart had been so tired and sad from all of the disappointment and grief of the last several years.

“And I love you!” There was a strength and surety that Terri sensed; something that spoke of Yuki’s own recovery.

“You know that I know I’ll never be able to replace him, right?” Terri turned her head to the side with a sigh. It was nearly impossible to compete with the memory of Yuki’s late husband, but Terri still hadn’t realized how unnecessary that competition was.

“I’m not planning on replacing him, but I’m so glad you’ve joined him. I think he would have liked you; both of you are so focused on the needs of others.” Yuki spoke as if Teddy was still alive. Even in his death, he had proven once again how important sacrifice had become. And it was important more than ever to Yuki.

“I’m so glad you’re in my life.” She said as her hand softly touched Terri’s cheek. “I feel like a big part of the hole in my heart has been finally filled.”

“I’m sorry,” Terri said.

“Why sorry? You’re the best thing to happen to me in my entire life.” The words surprised Terri; how could she be more important than the one first best love of Yuki’s life. The answer to her unspoken question came as Yuki urged Terri to raise her head. A kiss on the bridge of the nose followed by tender lips caressed Terri’s.

“You’re here and now…I’m alive once again because of you, Ter….you have to know that.” She kissed her forehead and began to cradle the young woman’s head in her breast. A hand reached in to pull apart her blouse, exposing her chest. Terri began to kiss Yuki’s breast, stopping at the edge of the bra.

“We’re not married.” Terri said, pulling away slightly.

“We’re as married as we’ll ever be in Illinois, and God knows we’re married here.” Yuki touched her left breast with her palm and then did the same to Terri.

“I love you so much. Let me show you?” Yuki said softly. Terri buried her face in Yuki’s chest once again, but this time she began to sob.

“Why the tears? I love you!” Yuki said as she gently pulled Terri’s head away to face her. Terri looked up and then looked downward past her waist. Even with the lupus in remission, her doctors had already decided that they couldn’t risk any surgery; perhaps never. She blushed and her face grew hot; her tears almost burning as they fell.

“You’re a woman in every way that matters to me. I didn’t fall in love with what you could be or should be, Ter…I fell in love with who you are, and you make me very, very happy. Let me love you?” Yuki’s words were almost slurred as she resumed kissing her lover. She rose from the couch and knelt beside and began once again to kiss Terri. Her hands probed and pushed and scratched and caressed, leaving Terri shuddering with feelings she had never known. Kisses behind the ear and on the neck were quickly replaced by a hand undoing the front hook to Terri’s bra.

“I’m not real.” She sobbed once again as Yuki moved the false aside to attend to the authentic. The breasts were small; almost the breasts of a twelve year old girl, but they were the breasts of a girl nonetheless. Yuki kissed her and nibbled in places never before noticed by any other than their owner. Terri began to laugh even as the tears streamed down her cheeks. Yuki continued to kiss Terri’s breasts as her hands reached further down.

“NO!” Terri pled, her body shuddering even in the midst of protest.

“Yes….I love you…not what you should be or what you wish to be, but you; here and now.” She raised her head and began to kiss Terri’s cheeks; savoring her lover’s tears. Hands continued to probe and caress and treasure all over until the woman before her lay back, sobbing. Joy and pain and regret and sadness and relief and love and hope mixed together as Yuki placed her head on her lover’s stomach, still kneeling next to the couch.

“You….” Terri stammered, still crying but with her sobs ebbing like a cleansing tide that pulled away the detritus from the shore of her life; finally a life with few regrets even if in the midst of the great challenge that lay before both of them.

“Me.” Yuki laughed softly. Terri lay back on the couch and stared at the ceiling.

“I had to play a concert in New York City once with the worst piano I had ever laid my hands on. I asked my instructor about it and he said, ‘You play with what you have, not with what you wish you had, dear.’ Turned out to be one of the best performances I ever enjoyed.” Terri blinked back some tears and stared at Yuki with a quizzical look.

“Someday….I promise if it is at all possible, we’ll take care of everything, okay?” She used her eyes to stare downward on Terri’s body and then up to her breasts.

“But for now? We play with what you have, my dear, okay?” She smiled and leaned in and kissed Terri once again.

“Okay?” She didn’t wait for an answer but resumed kissing, saying through lips that caressed her lover’s face,

“Merry Christmas!”

Christmas Eve day...

“I can’t wait until Christmas,” Gennie said. She reached into her backpack and pulled out a flat wrapped package about one foot or so square, handing it to Danni, who blushed with surprise. The couple had embraced her as if she was part of their family. Lainie squealed in expectation as the girl opened the package.

“To Danni — You have lovely friends, and I hope this note finds you well.” The picture was that of a middle aged man in a relaxed impromptu ‘pose;’ wearing a simple maroon cardigan over a polo shirt. He was holding a violin casually, as if he had just finished playing, which indeed he had. And it was signed.

“Best Regards, Itzhak Perlman.” True to form, the ‘emotional’ sister of the Davies family burst into tears over the lovely gesture. As a little boy a lifetime ago, the girl had been drawn to violin after hearing the tender and sad soundtrack to Schindler’s List and Perlman had been a hero to her.

“I….I don’t know what to say….thank you.” Danni felt that Christmas couldn’t get any better, but she found out that it not only could, but would become the best Christmas ever.

“The concert pulled in $47,000 for the shelter,” Terri said as she hugged the girls. The trio had knitted together with a commonality that went, of course, beyond their music and talent. But it wasn’t merely just because of their sameness, in a way. They grew together because their hearts were ready to be a part of something bigger than themselves.

Yuki had found healing in coming to know and love someone again. And Danni became whole in learning that she was not alone. Lainie had grown to want to be more than just a musician, and she and her friends came to that place of moving past what wasn’t to move into what can be. It was a Christmas that included everyone and excluded no one. Danni was able to let go of feeling left out because she knew she was loved; if not the way she wished, at least in a way that made her grateful and whole.

But there was one more Christmas present to open.

Christmas day...the Davies sisters' apartment...

“Danni, can you get the door?” Terri asked as she set the table for the holiday meal. Yuki and Gennie were in the kitchen getting food ready and Lainie was downstairs getting the drinks from her car.

“Lainie must have her hands full,” Danni said as she walked to the door. Opening it, she found herself face to face with a familiar figure, but it wasn’t Lainie.

“Merry Christmas, Danni.” Emily stood before the girl, smiling as broad a smile as Danni had ever seen. She was speechless.

“Mommy passed a few weeks ago….” She began to cry and fell into Danni’s arms. Danni held her and patted her back, still awkward and almost speechless except for consolation.

“I’m so sorry…” Danni repeated the words over and over, feeling helpless and glad at the same time, which led to an even more awkward feeling of guilt.

“I…”

“Shhhh.” It was Emily’s turn to console as the months of anxious loss spilled out in sobs as Danni shook in Emily’s arms.

“I…I had to …. There….never….” Emily gasped in the midst of her own crying, but finally said,

“I was wrong….oh …you know….I had to go, Dan….but ….. after Mommy died I had no one.” She looked away.

“I thought….but I was wrong. I love you, Danielle Cameron Davies…I always have. I thought I lost you when Cam went away….but you never were Cam….forgive me…I was wrong.” The girl’s sobs seemed to provide a counterpoint to Danni’s weeping. In a moment, the music softened and slowed, as it were, with a coda that include the most beautiful and tender kiss the two had ever known.

“I love you, Emily.”

There's a place for us
A time and place for us
Hold my hand
And we're halfway there
Hold my hand
And I'll take you there
Somehow
Someday
Somewhere

From Yuki and Terri and Lainie and Gennie and Emily and Danni and, finally, Tante Andrea, I hope and pray that each and every one of you enjoy a truly blessed holiday season; filled with joy and hope and love. Thank you!

Somewhere
from the Musical Play,
West Side Story
words and music by
Stephen Sondheim and
Leonard Bernstein
as performed by
Celtic Woman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BIVUe8cTz4

Pavane (Reprise)
composed by Gabriel Faure'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwENXlX94-I&feature=related