Now finally available on DVD and LILAC-RAY after decades (okay, a couple of weeks) , the musical and comedic stylings of your favorite (only) Transgender Comedy Team, Roland and DiMaggio, presenting their most popular motion picture ever, White Camisole.
Kristy and Drea have agreed to sing songs from the movie; some of the most popular songs ever written by that endearing composer, Irene Berlin. And now, without further ado, here they are, Roland and DiMaggio.
Kristy: Hey , 'Drea, why so down? Something wrong?
Drea: Yeah, just a little sad and tired, you know. Long day.
Kristy: I know what you need.
Drea: Zalelplon? Ambien? Merlot?
Kristy: No, you need something better.
I think about a teddy and its feel upon my breast Just think about a cami and matching tap pants too
I simply dream of my favorite clothes,
And I fall asleep counting my nightgowns
When my wardrobe is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep counting my nightgowns
And it makes me feel so sweet that it just gives me such a rest
If you're worried and you can't rest
Just count your nightgowns, I must confess,
And you'll fall asleep counting your nightgowns
And dream of your sweetie lying next to you.
And dream of all of us wearing our nightgowns
If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your nightgowns instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep counting your nightgowns
Drea: I feel better now, thanks.
Kristy: Anything for a sister of mine. You're like a sister to me, even though we just know each other here.
Drea: Yea, but wouldn't it be wonderful to meet...to know each other...to really be...
Those who know us Drea is neurotic, and Krysty is very exotic
There were never such dissimilar sisters,
Kristy was the one with common sense
Drea’s awfully sweet but somewhat dense
Caring, sharing
But just not everything that we are wearing
When a Mariotto gown arrived from Rome
Kristy wore the dress, and Drea stayed home
All kinds of dressing has us confessing,
We like wearing high heeled shoes
Two different faces, but in most places
Kristy’s brilliant while Drea’s confused.
Know that nothing ever is below us
We even would sing this silly song for you
But we’re not psychotic
We just like dressing; we do!
Kristy: Yeah, that sounds great. What would our wives think?
Drea: Well your wife knows about Kristy, but mine knows nothing...at least nothing in the physical sense, about Drea. I mean...she knows me, just not as me, see?
Kristy: Don't worry...some day, honey, things will be different.
Drea: You think?
Kristy: Sure, as a matter of fact,
Even guys with heels upon their feet
Things you wouldn't do
Happen safely behind locked doors
For dressing is almost like confessing
When you hold a girl in your arms
And you wish would she'd like you more
Come out alright if the girl is sweet
If by chance their cheeks should meet while dressing
Proving that the best things happen while you dress
Drea: Oh...gosh, Kristy...that sounds heavenly!
Kristy: Yeah, it does, doesn't it? But for now, be careful and considerate of your family, okay?
Drea: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
I thought that I might be Gee, I better stay back in the Closet More hugs and kisses too There's a lot to be said for the Closet A wife who still loves me Oh, gee, I oughta stay back in the Closet The Closet just might help you with duress Not so dumb as to confess There's a lot to be said for the Closet How we would cajole There's a lot to be said for the Closet A comment one or two
When I finally come out
It might make her want to shout
“I’m not so sure I want to be your wife!”
Che cosa e imbecile
Especially considering the strife
The Closet isn't really bad at all
Less arguments it’s true
More cuddling for winter, spring and fall
The life without animosity
Relations, yesiree
Just hugging her remains a possibility
Gee, You better stay back in the Closet
“I loved wearing a dress”
And marriage is a joy and not a mess
A gal was never lost for company
A thousand friends for me
With understanding, see
And while I wait for things to change they still are kind to me.
Oh, gee, I’m glad I’m still back in the Closet
Gee, We're better off visiting the Closet
The stories and the tales that we would read
For more of Nancy Cole
Sue Brown and all the others all for free
The best of readers watch you carefully
Might point this out to you:
You miss a comma and there's drama
But they missed your point it’s true
Still, gee, We're better off in the Closet!
Stories each day
For which you didn't pay
A thousand hits for you
Oh what’s a girl to do?
I thought that I was done
with writing something fun
But after months and months
They’ve got me on the run
Oh, gee
I’m glad I’m still in the Closet now
Kristy: Well, Drea, I can see that our time is almost over. What about a duet?
Drea: Sure...And anybody out there, feel free to join in!
I'm dreaming of white Cami I'm dreaming of a white Cami
Just like the one I used to wear
With a soft white bodice,
and oh so modest
and lace that made me feel so fair
Each time I have some time alone
I would like just once to go to bed
While my wife planted kisses on my head
And that you’d want to wear one too
Wish she'd love to see me in this
And she'd give me that Cami and a kiss.
All Songs from Irving Berlin's White Christmas
Count Your Blessings
Sisters
The Best Things (Happen While You're Dancing)
Gee, I Wish I Was Back in the Army
White Christmas
Comments
Tooo quiet !!!
ALISON
I just knew that something was going on-------you had both been too quiet.Suddenly,
the "Incorrigable Sisters" appear,the countries foremost song and dance team.
You really are a very clever pair and I'm going out to buy myself a 'white cami'
for Mothers Day.Can't wait until Christmas.Love you both---you always put a smile
on my face.Just what I need at the moment.Thank you soooooo much!!
ALISON
Good morning Loves...
I am so glad it's you two getting together (to-get-her)again! Great things always occur when that happens. This is a marvelous piece to awaken to! Move over Irv...move over Rogers and Hart...indeed, make lotsa room Oscar!!! Brava!
Your Lil' Brat
You two
are just the pair when I'm feeling a little down!!! :)
Hugs!
Grover
Wise-crackery and Heartache
Who can't relate? --- And I'm just up in the air waiting for advent of Lilac-ray.
You two beauties lifted more than just a couple of hearts. Our gratitude.
Leah
wonderful stuff
so wonderful, i can just picture each moment.
Drea, Very nice as always!
Drea,
Very nice as always! It is always a pleasure to find when you have created another "Roland and DiMaggio" routine, and I love the honor of being your chosen ... well straight man doesn't quite cut it does it? ... but you know what I mean.
I blush though to receive such accolades from our fans here for your hard work though! To be clear to everyone Drea creates most of these, and I think of them as presents. She has very clearly marked any that I have written with her.
Regardless, it is a great joy of mine that Drea chose me to be her partner for these wonderful light hearted fanciful routines. And I thank her profusely for this.
Hugs to all,
Kristy
Did You Stay At a Holiday Inn Last Night?
You're amazing.
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
White Camisole
I can easily picture this as a comedy routine during old time vaudeville or as a sketch on Saturday Night Live or Monty Python's Flying Circus.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Kristy On The Left, 'Drea On The Right
I love you both and need I say more?
Joanne