I cannot dress within my house

Don't get me wrong, she loves me yes

But only me, without a dress

I don't like force femme in a chair

I don't like force femme anywhere

But sometimes I do, so what to say?

I feel guilty so I pray

If you make me dress then it's okay

I can't be blamed, be blamed today!

I feel so bad, for others too

Who cannot be the self that's true

And what about me, the dresser said

You can't just say, it's in my head

I like my body, I really do

But I want to be loved just like you

I don't hate my maleness, I like it well

But without my other self it's hell

I want to be just who I am

I want to be loved, Joan I am

But there are times I wish it, yes

That my change was more than dress

That I might change and be another

To be a sister instead of brother

I go back and forth every day

I suffer doubt in every way

For so long I've felt this way

To cry and weep most every day

But I don't hate who I am

I just don't know me, Joan I am!

Sometimes the things I feel are bad

I think they are, which makes me sad

Less than whole, not all I am

Incomplete, I feel I am

Not quite right, dear Joan I am

One thing of which I'm sure

What I have needs not a cure

Just understanding and love

Treasured by my God above

I wish I had just one who said

It's really not just in your head

You love and live to tell each other

We're much alike to one another

And while I wait for my wife

To treasure this part of my life

I thank God for all of you