The Girl in the Mirror There...
She looks so sad even as she counts the many blessings she’s had. The dilemma of wanting to be grateful for what she’s been given while trying to forget the things she’s lost. She sits down and puts pen to paper, desiring to vent in private to spare her loves in the open. The blog she never posts…
“I’ve grown so tired; too many days of feeling sorry for myself take their toll. Wanting to be happy for the ones who are further along on the journey…hell, even a few steps would be nice, you know? And it’s really all good, since it is what it is. I’m thrilled that those that follow after me may get a head start, or at least are at the same startling line as everyone who considers themselves ‘normal’
As for me? I've been on this god-awful journey for too many years, and while my co-driver now knows why I've wanted to take an alternate route, after over a quarter of a century we're probably too far along in the journey to turn the car around. I feel like I'm stuck at a rest stop and I've just run out of gas. So pardon me if I sound a bit frustrated and I hope everyone will forgive me.”
And of course, she knows they will; they’re part of the reason she’s doing as well as she can. And of course, they understand because many of them are in the same metaphorical boat, as well. The rants and sad laments that sometimes overtake us and cover our eyes instead of open them to what we do have. And while it does get difficult trying to put a brave face on it all the time, it’s all good, because it is what it is. For those of us who occasionally cry themselves to sleep? Hit it, Diana…
The girl in the mirror there
She knows by now
There's something in all of her tears
Now she cries her heart dry
She lives in her pain
The life insisting for sure
She hears voices speak
The future is frightening
Her eyes staring off into space
Maybe it’s there
Or maybe it's nothing at all
As she writes pretty stories again
The girl in the mirror there
She dresses each day
In her mind’s eye it’s really no use
The girl in my other life
She stifles a sob
Admiring the cut of her gown
She sadly confesses
While life still undresses
Turning the last lamp light down
What's that voice I’m hearing
We should be sleeping
Could that be just me who's weeping
Maybe she's there
Maybe there’s nothing to be seen
Just a ghost of what might have been
The girl in my other life
She looks in the mirror and cries
She looks all too familiar
based on
The Girl in the Other Room
Words and Music by
Diana Krall and
Elvis Costello
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQkbb_QOnGQ
Comments
Thank you 'Drea
I know exactly (well at least I understand) what you are saying. One of the nicest things about your stories and vignettes is that they give people hope. You let us know that it can get better, not perfect, sometimes far from it, but it will get better.
Portia
Portia
Beautifully poignant Andrea.
Beautifully poignant Andrea. Your work always speaks from the heart and to the heart.
Personally, I'd like to think that whether our metaphorical boat is in the harbour or on the open sea, that there is a sense of shared camaraderie.
"Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere." - Carl Sagan
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
Thank you 'Drea,
ALISON
'we are probably too far along in the journey to turn the car around'.No,'Drea,it is never too late
to be who we truly are and to enjoy our femininity and you have reduced me to tears again thinking
of what was missed during all those long years.Another of your heartfelt pieces of life.Thank you.
ALISON
heart breaking stuff
I would do anything I could to ease your sorrow hon. Hugs.
Dorothycolleen
Too Close To Home
Hard to comment on as I look in MY mirror.
It has that ineffable 'Drea touch, oozing empathy,
Joanne
This is all too often truth for many of us.
The cries in the night, the nightmares, the guilt, the hiding. Most of us have been through this very thing. This is written with emotion and deep feelings. Thank you for sharng, Drea.
"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."
Love & hugs,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."
Love & hugs,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."