I need to apologize. Until I actually posted my entry in the double dip contest, I hadn't really registered just how short it was. Its basically little more than a drabble. I really hope enough people enter the contest that I wont have to worry about winning with such a tiny piece.

I have another piece I'm working on that might be acceptable for the "music" part of the contest, but no guarantees I'll have it ready before the contest closes.

Again, I'm sorry.

Well, that is the Shrewsbury festival over for another year; source of so much of my inspiration. Some wonderful music, old friends popping out of the woodwork, and very sore fingertips on my left hand. Last year I played so much and so enthusiastically I snapped a plectrum; this year, I just broke a string on the last evening.

Already planning next year! I will try to remember to print off all my train tickets this time, rather than just the cycle reservations...

I go to a place called Religious Forums a lot. It has everyone from Atheists to Baptists there, and for some strange reason, two men, one a Buddhist, and the other a Baha'i are attracted to me, apparently because I'm so obsessive and broad in my research. I don't write worth a hoot, but love research.

What a strange feeling to have a man interested. I've already said there will be no sex.

:)

Gwen

I've got a bad case of the sads right now. hugs appreciated.

Bad news. my knee buckled tonight, and then moved sideways when I rubbed it. I'm trying really hard to not go into PTSD shock. hugs appreciated.

Not sure what is going on. I've lost a few files, one that I was ready to publish. My screen print size is gone round the bend, so it looks like it is time to switch machines.

Gwen

It's been a trying week, far too many hours worked though I did learn that I'd passed my university exam so can proceed to the next level - it's like a very expensive computer game at times. Today, Saturday, is the anniversary of my son's death and I drove up to Wales and back, getting on for three hundred miles with a very early start.

So I had a really good time at the author's group meeting. The group was very nice, we talked about stories, I felt pretty comfortable with them. I'll definitely go back if I have the ability to.

Well, its Monday morning, I'm in pain, and struggling with depression. Huggles appreciated ...

Did one of my evening escapes to try to get my lil ole haid to screw on and went to a Red Robin hamburger joint. Things were busy but I sat with my pin and pad trying to work out a story idea. My food came and I had a bit of Hair of the Dog also.

Finishing up, there was one of those computers on the table to pay with. While I was trying to work out how to badger that thing into responding to me, the waitress came up and said that the people across the way had paid my bill. ??? My first response was, "why would they do that"?

All my stories that I post use exactly the same HTML preamble, with just the changes made to the titles.

Every single other one I have posted displays our "Anmar Grakh" 'logo' we use to alert readers. For some reason my latest (#90) does NOT display this on the Story Teasers page and yet DOES display it when you click on the story title and go there.

Out on a "Girl's Night Out" last night, eating fried Chicken and Potato slabs. My friend, a GG, said to me that perhaps I did not learn to be female, that perhaps I had always been acting this way, and then decided to clothe it more authentically?

Hmmm.

Gwen

Went to go shopping at my local Safeway after my electrolysis today. When I got out of the car, I realized I should have used the bathroom before I left electrolysis. I was wearing a knit white top, a blue print skirt and some light tan sandals. I had my usual make up for electrolysis; mascara and a light pink lipstick. In the electrolysis building they are used to seeing trans folk in the restrooms. At Safeway not so much.

Lately I've gotten a bit of contract labor that has me out-of-doors cleaning up around campgrounds and a local boat launch ramp... Where I live is heavy with poison oak and ivy... being out and about doing what I've been doing means I've been all up in the poison oak and ivy! So I'm feeling somewhat good about earning some immediate cash, but I'm also suffering somewhat due to being all up in the poison oak especially. I didn't see any poison ivy but suspect it is there too, so sort of a toss up for days as far as what I'm feeling....

I'm on holiday this week, hence nothing much from me. So far have seen about 15 new species of bird as well as some old favourites. It's been hard work but someone has to do it.

Best wishes to everyone.

Angharad.

First off,
I apologize for placing small snippets of the story; but it’s coming to me in pieces that I want to try and share.

Second,
Thank you for everyone who read my last blog post and responded to it.

Third,
Thank you to everyone who is reading the story in its bit by bit format.

Well, my mom and I went to my daughter Samantha's graduation ceremony tonight, and it was pretty good. Sam is recovering nicely from her surgery, and looked very beautiful in her grad dress.

But, Sharon decided to introduce me to the other parents at our table as "Sam's Dad. He wears women's clothes, but is a good person anyway."

I believe my response showed my level of sophistication and maturity.

I stuck my tongue out at her.

Ah well, it was a good night regardless.

I had that feeling again today.

It’s one I’ve had since fourth grade...or maybe even before that-the one of finding a high point, anywhere and just jump off it.
There are days that I stay indoors and do nothing to just let the voices pass by...they have really good ideas sometimes.

Well, good is relative to the time that the rest of the world seems to be going to Hell.
And I know it’s not...it never “really” is (if you ask people around me)
But I feel it.
And, yes, I hate it.

I only realised last night that my last news was somewhat innacurate. I did mention that i'm out doing a little ride up in't Dales tomorrow precluding a posting.

But I said there would be one on Wednesday but there won't. Back in January I booked up for a sort of history day trip to Calderdale, which is on Wednesday. So no Wednesday update but there is a possibility I might get online a different day.

In other news -

i'm one and a half chapters into the next Gaby book with an interesting and unexpected turn of events!

last couple of days my brother and I have been trying to do yardwork, pulling out the dandelions so then we can trim the grass. Its sad, but my brother who had knee surgery not that long ago, is still on street drug levels of painkillers, and has little or no cartilage in any of his joints, is actually in better shape than I am.

I'm in pain, exhausted but unable to sleep, and its setting off PTSD, dysphoria, and depression.

Sighs ... this too shall pass, I suppose ...

and I don't mean hugging my pillow.

I AM NOT PLANNING OR THINKING ABOUT DOING ANYTHING SERIOUS TO MYSELF!

Bear in mind as you read this, if you do read it, that I can be a long-winded bitch.

I think part of it is aging and knowing that I've been here longer than I will be going forward... and I don't feel like I've accomplished anything for having existed... except existing.

okay so yesterday Sharon needed me to drive her to the vet because her cat was having problems. While we were waiting, she starts this conversation about her church, and says she thinks they are a little too quick to pull out judgement.

Then she says she was also guilty of this in dealing with my desire to transition. She said while she doesnt really understand it, or like it, she felt she had been more negative towards me about it than I deserved, and she apologized.

honestly, you could have knocked me over with a feather ...

i seem to have lost my pidgen connection to the chat room. Can anybody help me?