I have just returned from my forty-fifth high school reunion and I would like to tell you about a lesson I learned. (Yes, I can still be taught at my age). I had not managed to attend many reunions over the years and I went to this one to see if any of the people I knew would be there. I wanted to find out if they behaved any differently from our time in high school.
I found out that one of the girls I had thought was popular during our time in school wanted nothing to do with the reunion and she considered the four years of high school to be hell. I have to tell you that I spent those years as an outsider. The girls and guys wanted nothing to do with. To find out that someone had a worse time in school that I did was a bit of a surprise.
I came away actually knowing that we are all dealing with something in our lives. It might not excuse their behavior, but it can explain why they act the way they do. It also taught me that reaching out to others might, and I stress might, pay us back more than we know. That I should make an effort to not be standoffish or at least not look like it. Smiling and saying hello to that person in the aisle of the grocery store or just acknowledging the person stocking the shelves in the store might change their outlook for the rest of the day.
Right now, I am wondering how things might have turned out if I had tried to talk to this girl when I had a chance and tried to be her friend. We would at leave have had one apiece.
Comments
Your Insight
Two years ago, I too attended my 45th year reunion.
The more I found out during that reunion, the more I realized how little we actually knew about each other in high school.
What shocked me was the number of people who looked back at their high school years with fondness. There were about a third of the people in my class who thought those were the best days of their life. Their personalities were mired in what they had been then.
Thanks for your blog! Yesterday I got miffed when a guy in the grocery store mis-treated me. I should have been a lot more understanding. The world tends to reflect us.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Wouldn't go to one even if you paid me to go
My last 5 years in school was not a good one. I cheered when they knocked the place down. I would not want to mix with 99.99% of the people I was at school with. Two of them have done time for Murder and three for armed robbery. Don't need to say any more really.
Thankfully we don't have many of these things here.
I got lucky and escaped from the town where I grew up. I'd cheer if that town was wiped off the face of the map as it has such bad memories for me. I got on with my life and did things and saw places that most of those I was at school with would not even dream about.
As ever, YMMV.
Samantha
Your first paragraph...
...would make a great first paragraph for a story!
Going against the flow
I wouldn't say that my high school days were the best days of my life. I'd say that period was the third or fourth best. It could have been horrible for a small nerd with glasses who was no good at ball games (a decent gymnast though). However, that was not the kind of school I went to. Mostly decent, considerate very competent teachers and students. It helped that the school was small, 500 students spread over grades 7-12. Parents that had an interest in their children's eduction and so on. Of course there was no need for the 100 year old school to continue once I had graduated so it was closed. Seriously though, it was due to the prevailing political winds. Less than 20 years later the basic idea of the school was revived among extensive talk about how great those new ideas were (now questioned again).
There has been one reunion since (20 years from graduation). I attended. My take from that was
1. Quite a lot of those who attended were quite eager to brag about how well they had done. That I had expected. Really, I would have been disappointed if this hadn't been the case.
2. More unexpected was how little we really had had in common. Very few had kept contact with more than one or two others.
I was and am different.
My school was grades 7-12. My family had a gas/service station next to out home since I was 9YO. I worked every day after school so for me school was a break. I was average size but stubborn as hell, and earned good grades but never fit in. In grade 7 and half of 8 jocks and such picked on me. 8th grade mid year (1964) I was confronted by a junior in the locker room during phys-ed. I'd had enough and fought back. Everyone laughed as I was decked. They were surprised when I popped up and went back for more. After several repeats I was bleeding and in a rage. I did the rope-a-dope before Ali. I wore the guy down until I knocked him down. Then I jumped on him, pulped his face and broke his arm. It took 6 guys to pull me off. He missed a week of school, I was back the next day with black eyes, swollen nose, and busted lips. Back then bloody fights were part of growing up. For the next 4 1/2 years no one ever hassled me again and I was a confirmed loner. I'm looking forward to my 50th reunion next year. Should be interested.
Boys will be girls... if they're lucky!
Jennifer Sue
I can't comment
Cos' I never went to school after aged six!!!