What a week it's been !!!

I saw a Doctor today that actually knew what XXY folk could be like, and seemed to understand!!! He even confirmed that folk like me are often born with both sets of accessories, and felt that often the wrong organs were removed at birth. "ODDLY", back then, Doctors preferred to remove the girl stuff and would do almost anything to save the boy junk!!! It was nice to have that confirmation. Validation. :)

Okay, so for the last while, I've been sharing stories at a writing group every two weeks, and last night I shared part 2 of a story called "Six forty-five" (which you can find here: https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/34885/six-forty-five ) and it went over well. So I came home to look at part 3, and ... I dont know. I'm seriously lacking confidence in it.

If anybody wants to look at it, and see if its better than my brain is telling me, that would cool ...

When I moved in to my brother and sister-in-law's basement, one of the things I agreed to was to take over the outside chores - mostly snow shoveling and lawn care.

At that time the thing I worried about was that my mental health issues would make doing these jobs tough.

I never dreamed how fast my physical health would deteriorate.

I never imagined that there would be a time when being out working for an hour would be a serious challenge.

I honestly dont know how long I can keep up to my promise, or what happens when I cant anymore.

sighs ...

for the first time in a while, I had a nightmare last night. It wasnt related to my rapes, but I'm still having trouble getting myself grounded, and today I have stuff to do that I cant put off. hugs appreciated.

As is true every year, Memorial Day weekend was not easy for me. Those of us who have served, those of us who have lost friends and comrades, those of us who have known loss - we will never forget.

But there are certain times certain things that spur our memories. This weekend was one of those for me. It is not just a time for remembrance, but a time for caring. A time for me to think of those who I have lost, and to think of those they left behind.

Answering a comment to my latest installment of Necessity is the Mother of invention, caused me to remember something a friend had said 40 years ago that I thought I would share.

The two of us were sitting in the mess hall, when a bible-thumper decided that the two of us needed to be re-educated by none other than himself. How this oracle of divinity knew that the two of us needed his guidance was beyond my knowledge, but alas he placed his holy book on the table in front of us as he unwelcomely sat down and proceeded to impart his great understanding of life to the two of us.

Last weekend we went to watch Karl (my beloved) play soccer for our church team. I know, I know it's a British game you guys invented and it's called football not soccer lol. Anyway, it seems that I committed a cardinal sin by talking/signing to a young lady whose boyfriend played in the opposing team. She's not deaf but does sign as one of her friends is deaf it helped me as well as I'm adapting to BSL. I saw a disruption out of the corner of my eye involving hubby it seems he injured this lady's B/F. I saw him literally flying over Karl's head as he slide tackled him I think he said.

Hello, and good morning to all.

I just joined BigCloset and I am learning my way around. Any help or pointers anyone may wish to offer will be gratefully received.

I am an older married guy who loves to slip into dresses and/or lingerie whenever I can. My wife is not intolerant but does not wish to be around when I do. I have no desire to lose her, so I confine my dressing up to those times when she is not here. I am happy with that arrangement.

I can, however, come to sites like this whenever I desire.

Anybody else have a word go missing from their vocabulary? I'm talking a simple, everyday word, one you've read and said hundreds of times just drop out and leave you half angry and half terrified?

Its happened to me. In fact, recently, I was trying to relate a story about a time when this happened, and the SAME WORD hat had given me such distress the first time disappeared as I was trying to talk about it.

Sighs. Dementia here I come ...

I've been nursing a toothache for more than a Month and finally went to an Emergency Dentist uninsured. Thankfully I had enough money to pay for it but my budget will be off for a few months now. I had the tooth pulled on 5-5-2019, and it was like getting beat up by thugs. It was a rear molar and he had to cut the tooth in two to get it out and one half of the tooth broke into fragments and he had to dig that out. I am sure that he had his muddy boots in my mouth. This was all conscious with only a local.

Oh my goodness, it crept up on me, my 10th Anniversary ! (Well, 9 years, 12 months, as my account says)

whoo hoo! let the party begin!!

It is sobering to finally understand that perhaps much of my hiding in the shield of extreme religion is that I did not have to address actually doing what a woman does. There have been a few men my age actually "hit" on me and I've effectively run screaming down the street. And, it is well known that when some men find out about you, even if you are Post Op and look the part, they can be very dangerous.

I've even repulsed the men that knew and not because I am so holy, but because I was frightened to death, yikes.

Little update.

Due to the soon, hopefully, ex still not having filled the divorce papers, I have been looking at OK divorce lawyers that are LGBT friendly. Girl are the expensive. 3000 dollars or there about just to redact the papers, get my an my soon to be ex autographs and file them.

No way in hell I can afford them till 2021 (going to take that long to get those 3000 dollars).

Sighs, never a good break in my life ....

Lynne

As the Germans would have it!

Years ago, back in about 1972, I was part of a REACT team. That's Radio Emergency Action Team for those unfamiliar with the term. We used CB radios to track things like severe storms, tornados, on searches for lost people etc. We also had, and used, police/fire scanners both at home and in our cars. It was all strictly volunteer stuff with no actual legal standing, but the cops knew about it and left us alone unless we tried to beat them to a call or used it in the commission of something illegal.

Just wanted anybody who has been hoping for something new from me to know; its gonna be a while. Depression and PTSD have drained my spoons, and in any case I seem to be seriously stuck on my Sherlock Holmes story.

So sorry.

The last month made me realise I am not doing that good healt (mostly mental) wise. I don't have any 'reserves' or coping mechanisms (used to just go on long gaming sessions to relieve frustrations but no more gaming setup).

If I didn't have the pets or the internet I wouldn't know where I'd be.

The fact that a part of my bankruptcy problems is 'solved' (or will be as soon as I get the paperwork) has helped with it, Bbut I need a real goal to work to.

It looks like I will be building a new computer.

The motherboard, it seems is better toasted than we had thought. While it boots to BIOS fine upon pulling my CMOS battery there was a nasty burn ring on it, and trying to boot a few different Linux distros from USB returned issues every time, with the system trying to boot in only to start throwing errors and then crashing.

I apparently forgot to tell everybody that I went to my writing group Thursday, and shared "Under the stars" (which you can read here: https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/44433/under-stars ) and they absolutely loved it.

I really needed the positive reinforcement, you know?

I just got back from doing a little shopping. Among other items, I got some new underpants.

The tag denoting the size says, "XL/TG" I can only assume that stands for:
eXtra Large/TranGender. ;o)