And so here we are again, me sat at the lappy posting another blog like wot I've done before.

yes indeedy,

to enjoy reading your own scribbles?

Just wanted to let everybody know that this coming Sunday evening I will be speaking at my church and sharing a little of my story in relation to trans day of remembrance. Wish me luck.

Yeah, it was all the pizza's fault, first I had to make it (well load it with goodies at least), then I had to cook it and lastly I was forced to eat it! by the time I'd finished dessert that was an hour gone. Of course, if I'd got back earlier, if I hadn't uploaded my ride stats before eating, well you might've seen this a bit earlier, but I did so you didn't.

Sadly, I just got word that Daniel Ford who created Sam Valentine (an unpublished comic strip he and I worked on) died yesterday. Daniel was also co-creator with me of Quillian. He was a talented young artist, only 38, who died in his cobbler shop Tuesday, November 5, of complications from diabetes.

It hits me pretty hard, we had been friends for more than fifteen years and I will miss him a lot.

Take care of yourselves out there.

Hugs,
Erin (Joyce)

Okay, so despite the Halloween wind storm causing us a power outage that lasted a day and a half, I was trying really hard to finish the new chapter of Syryn's Song for today, but unfortunately events conspired against me. We had anouther short outage today while I was trying to work that resulted in both lost progress and the final death of the laptop I use for back ups, writing while not chained to the desktop, and various other purposes.

Today I've spent some 12 hours pretty much solid, working on a new edit of The Anime Days, which was first released waaaay back in 2003!

So I've been having a bit of trouble this week getting the new chapter of Twice Removed to feel right. The words just didn't want to come to me, as sometimes happens when I'm not on my meds and writing. So some of the girls in chat suggested that I try taking my mind off it by writing something short and silly. Since Dottie is the queen of short and silly I naturally took my inspiration from her. I don't think I'll have Twice Removed ready for this week, altough it is coming easier now that I got my mind off it for a bit. So instead I'm posting a little halloween treat.

Halloween is a time for regrets for me. I mean, the one time in a year when I could have gotten away with presenting as a girl, and I never dared. I was too much a coward. That's pretty much the story of my life, really. never brave enough.

While in the store I saw a beautiful Christmas dress and since the store started playing "Dress you up in my love" I modeled the dress against my body and danced.

Gad I'm SUCH a girl sometimes ...

Yes indeedee, today you can read the first chapter of Gaby Book 20, Express, here on BC for absolutely nothing.

Hey everyone,

Just a quick note to let you all know that I'm finally starting to feel better, I'm merely down to sniffling, coughing and a bit of sinus congestion. So still a bit under the weather, but a far cry better than I was doing at the beginning of the week. I'm hoping that I can be somewhat back on schedule by Wednesday now that my head is somewhat clearer and I can think again, or at the very least manage a chapter of I Wish.

Anyway thanks to everyone for your warm thoughts and patience and I hope to be back in full swing soon.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

For those who are interested, I have today relocated some considerable distance south - thanks Bev.

Will it work out? I don't know the answer to that one but at least i'm not sofa surfing for a bit.

Thanks to everyone who has shown concern for my welfare over the last weeks and months, I do appreciate it.

Hopefully I can break the downward spiral of both mental state and finances and start recovering my life.

Bye for now
Mads

Hey everyone, with my life becoming more hectic by the day, not having a reliable way to create content, my content not having the luster it once did and me not having motivation to write anymore I have decided to retire from writing. I know this may come as a shock to some people but I just think now is my time to retire. If anyone wants to do fan continuations or rewrites of my stories then feel free to do so as long as you credit the original. This wasn’t a decision I wanted to make but it was one I needed to make.

For everyone's concern. It's heartwarming and humbling at the same time. And indeed, thank you for the offers of financial and accommodational support, it really is much appreciated.

Friday night really was a low point, my head wasn't exactly firing on all cylinders. I only mentioned the canal as that's where I was sat at the time, it was quiet and the only place I could find a bench to sit on.

I've got a couple of days reprieve and it looks like I may be leaving GOC for a while.

Over the years and the last few months in particular my life has hit some low points but tonight is the lowest of them all.

You might recall that I was taking a party of fellow archaeology fiends away this week? Well to be honest that went stonkingly well, no disasters and a group of happy people returned home this evening. I returned to my temporary abode of course only to find that my presence was, to say the least, not encouraged, well to put it more correctly, not appreciated at all.

okay so I've been kinda fraying at the edges for a while, and today I took the first steps at fixing that by getting my doctor to refer me to a psych program offered at a local hospital. we'll see how it goes.

Yep, as I don't expect to be posting midweek I've put together a bumper update today.

:CAUTION!:
If you read further you may find this somewhat depressing.

went to the dentist because of jaw pain. dentist said I strained my jaw.
not serious. booked me for physio Tuesday.

My older brother lost his SSI because he suddenly makes too much money at work for it. We need help with the electric bill this month.I started a Go Fund Me, any help would be appreciated.

https://www.gofundme.com/6hhk4e-need-to-pay-electric-bill

ok so a few days ago I watched the youtube channel the nostalgia critic do a take on the movie "The Wall", and it brought me back to one of the darker moments of my childhood.

See, when I was a teen, I saw the Wall, and I saw the movie as a cautionary tale of what I could become. Because I had walls too. Walls that protected me, but also isolated me. So after the movie, rather than seeking help, I decided to try and take down my walls on my own.

It ... didnt go well.

Well here we are - eventually I've done the photo bit, well started the process!

I'll post these in a series of smaller documents to avoid overloading BC with images so click on the link and you can see the first pdf.

Tschuss
Mads