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I had a disturbing dream last night. I dreamed I was in a classroom and was having trouble with a problem. I went to my mom who was a guest of the class, but the teacher overheard me and said I was supposed to work with a partner, I replied bitterly, "Yeah but I have zero social skills and nobody likes me."
sighs. even my dreams have a low opinion of me.
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Comments
Oh, I don't know about that
Self doubt is fairly rampant, and not so easy to shake. My advice is to get yourself some better dreams. You know you can; even if it takes a few nights to do it.
Report back, and let us know how you're doing
Steve
Dream rewrite
I was going to tell you this after reading about another negative dream you had.
Sure, it's true that dreams are telling us some sort of "truth," but they are the opposite of objective. In some ways, dreams are just an old basketful of random stuff. It's stories you tell yourself while you're asleep.
There is something you can do about it, though.
I happened on this when I was having frightening, disturbing dreams that would wake me, and in that twilight, not-quite-awake state, I would sometimes struggle to recognize that the events were not real.
Once, I woke before the dream was over, but it was pretty clear where things were going, and things were not going to end well for me. So, before I was fully awake, I instinctively worked out a better ending. I didn't give it a Hollywood ending, but I made it end better -- better for me, I mean.
After that, when I'd wake up from a disturbing dream, I'd go back and alter it. When you first wake up, the dream is still plastic -- you can still mold and change it.
Remember, it's just a story; you can rework it.
Fixing dreams in this way made my mornings much better, and consequently, the day that followed as well.
- io
Dreams with my parents...
Are rarely positive...
I usually either try to hide from them as I wear wig and/or makeup and/or bra and/or dress... Or I am talked to death by the usual talk that I need to marry and provide grandkids. Even though my mom killed all of my relationships... And failed to provide suitable spouse for me as I was always too bad for any girl: too skinny, or not muscular, or too fat... I was an embarrassment... Since I was like 3...
I try not to think about this kind of relationship with parents. And every night I prepare myself that I want to see a nice dream where I am a girl, skinny, with boobs. Or a dream like a nice movie, with mystery, romance and a happy end... Depending on the mood and stress levels. Most of the nights it works.
Not your voice, not your words
We can hear wrong things so many endless times, we end up believing them. Lies can be harder to fight in our dreams (fewer mental tools available), than when awake.
I know that 'voice' was feeding you at least two lies:
- Only someone with social skills could could write your stories. and
- I like you enough to be trying to read just about every story you've posted here. Also look back to my comments on some of your "health" blog posts Heck, even this very comment.
- >I< am >somebody< and >I< like you. And I am not 'nobody'.
! Huggles ! :)
Living in an abusive environment
throughout your childhood. No wonder what your dreams reflect, because you were told in word AND deed that your were unlovable. But you ARE lovable. Your recent history of sharing in groups and reading your very compelling stories to folks indicates that you have developed very good social skills. I am so very proud of the person you a continuing to become.
Love, Andrea Lena
Slumbertime Blues (with apologies to Eddie Cochran)
I lay down last night and surrendered to the void
I had a dream my mother looked just like Sigmund Freud
I call up my analyst and say "What does this mean?"
he said: "You go crazy, Son, if you analyze your dreams."
Sometimes I don't know what I'm a-gonna do
Cuz there ain't no cure for the Slumbertime Blues
Well these obnoxious nocturnes really got me in a panic
I'm gonna throw myself into the deep blue Oceanic
I call up my analyst and say "I'm on the brink!"
He say "Don't call my home phone, Son. You ain't crazy as you think!"
Sometimes I dunno what I'm a-gonna do, cuz there ain't no cure for the Slumbertime Blues...
.
There's more verses (something about "hypnogogic hoo-has"), but I'm amazed I remember even these 2 since I wrote this in high school around 1971. In other words, of COURSE you don't always like yourself in your dreams. Dreams are where all our anxieties come out to play and NOBODY always (or even often) has nice dreams where they see themselves as totally together. You're human, Sis. Dreams like this are pretty much par for the course. And as far as I can see you're more self-honest + doing better than a lot of folks who won't even look at their own typical human fuctup neurotic shit...
Scary thought, huh?
~Hugs, Veronica
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[I'm in a place right now where I'm comfortable stating opinions like this. If the past is any indication I will soon recoil in horror at the thought that a defective component like me (with zero social skills) would presume to give anyone advice about their mental state, dreams or emotion. Then right when someone needs reassurances the most is when my self-doubt + feeling like a fraud will kick in and I'll clam up, unable to say anything helpful or supportive. Us hoomans shur iz a mess!]
What borders on pure insanity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
Inspiring
I find it rather inspiring, that someone like you, with zero self-confidence and no known skills, has created a vast network of friends, a massive body of writings, has delivered massive amounts of encouragement, and distributed tons of huggles.
Cheryl