Autobiographical

worrying episode yesterday

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I had a strange experience yesterday and I really need to talk about it. I was part of a group meeting all day, and even though I know the people well, I began to have a really unusual way of distancing myself - I began doodling. I'm no drawer, but I started making little pictures of anything I could think of. I still engaged others, but I couldn't stop drawing. I have no idea what this means, but it worries me.

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Syryn's Song chapter 5 delay

Just to let people know, Syryn's Song chapter 5 probably won't be posted today. I have it roughly half done and I was hoping to edit and post today, and chapter 6 is 90% finished, but Martin and I are both feeling terrible today and I think we may have the flu or something. I just can't focus well enough right now to do a proper job of finishing and editing it today, so I'll probably have to hold off until next Sunday so I know it's going to be of the quality I prefer.

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Eine kurze Vorstellung zu meiner Person

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Mein Name ist Jessica Preg, wie ihr ja bereits sehen könnt.

Ich schreibe fiktive Geschichten, die erotische Fantasien enthalten.

Da ich ausschließlich in deutscher Sprache schreibe hoffe ich, dass auch die englischsprachigen Leserinnen und Leser diese mit dem Google-Übersetzer gut verstehen können.

Falls ihr Anregungen,Wünsche zu bestimmten Geschichten habt, oder euch sogar eine bestimmte Geschichte wünscht, so lasst es mich wissen.

Ich bin immer wieder auf der Suche nach neuen Inspirationen.

Herzlichst
Eure Jessica

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The plan

Okay folks,

Since I've been back I've been working on some story chapters, but given that I don't have the time I once did I can't guarantee continuing all of my ongoing story-lines at the same time. The decision I've come to is that I will focus on Twice Removed, Syryn's Song, and I Wish first, on a weekly schedule, with the occassional chapters of other stories, Hyperverse stories, or other writing whenever my muse decides to push me in those areas. As I finish up story lines I will start to add Alex in Wonderland, Raven's Blood, and Winter's Child into the schedule.

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Perhaps Stealth Is Better?

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I've been "out" for 16 years and really out for about 10 years and never been bothered. It does not seem credible that I could have looked so female that no one twigged to my being T?

In the last week, two sites that I go to, one of them Facebook seem to have gone completely perverted. I've always run a low "friend" count because I don't think that people I don't talk to at least by PM are my friends. Facebook is only suggesting folk who are porn queens, so I have unfriended so many folk. Don't intend to be mean, look at what you want to.

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New Rairy Contrary just Dropped.

Hello out there,

It appears Rairy just can't catch a break.

As I write this story I feel so sad. I'm one of those writers that feel's/feed's off the emotions they are writing and reading. So if I read something extremely depressing I can get really depressed myself.

Rairy is not a reflection of myself, but there are parts of me in her. She is so much braver than I ever was.

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Apologies

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I would like to offer my most heartfelt apologize to all my friends and readers on big closet.

I dropped off the map and I feel bad about having worried so many of you by doing so.

Things were bad for me for a long while, and my anxiety and depression spiraled out of control after my ex cut me off from contacting my kids, while our grim financial situation and not being able to afford my meds was making things worse. I withdrew from everyone and everything but my boyfriend Martin.

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2019-08-27 End of a chapter

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Well, as it says in the titel, yesterday was the end of a chapter for me as the paperwork for my house was done. So goodbye house.

That doesn't change much about my current situation (still about 5 years to go with the bankruptcy proceedings as it is right now) as the sale price wasn't anything near to what I still owed the Bank. But that's a forced sale for you.

At least after this year I will be done with the taxes on it which saves a few 100 a year. So a kinda silver lining.,

L

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The Hits Just Keep Coming...

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Just when you think everything is good and nothing else bad can happen, something else slaps you in the face. I was just informed this morning that I have until the 15th of September to get both my dogs vaccinated and licensed because the city is doing a consensus. If I had been told about this at the beginning of the month, I would have been fine. As it is, Kindle has not been kind lately. I had to use last month's kindle money to pay for bills and the tiny amount I'm getting this month won't even pay for one vet visit. I'm NOT sure what I'm going to do now....

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The Family Girl #096: Anniversary Day!

 

Blog #96: Anniversary Day!
And It Hardly Even Feels Like Ten Years


 
Exactly, and I do mean exactly,ten years ago, on a Tuesday afternoon, at 2:33PM, I posted my very first story here in the BigCloset (or what I've taken to calling "BCTS"): I posted the first part of a little story I called "Danny." And it is exactly ten years from that time.

Yes, indeed - it's my tenth-year anniversary here in BCTS.

Yayyyy!

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Good morning Ma'am, Sir, I mean... Sorry.

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That's what the gate guard at work said to me this morning. It just keeps on happening and it's happening more often. Second time this week. Happened last week once. Happened the week before once.

I show up to work which is a high security government installation. I have to go through a security checkpoint which has guards posted because it's a high security installation. I have to show the guards my government issued ID which has my legal male name on it and they do look at it.

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Posted a new Story.

Hello out there.

My names Katherine and I'm happy to meet everyone here.

I am a transwoman myself and have gone through a lot this year. From a Breast Cancer scare, my Grandmother dying, my 14-year-old cat dying, and writing this book.

It all started Back in October of 2018 I found a lump on my right breast. It took my doctor a series of tests and 5 months to tell me that the lump was benign.

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dream time again

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dream time again. I dreamed I was in a classroom and was getting frustrated because I couldnt make head or tails of the assignment I was given, It got so bad I started to wonder why I was in the class at all, when the class was sent out to a outdoor stage to watch a performance. I started to enjoy myself, but then I saw down the hill from the the stage a building was collapsing, soon gigantic pieces of marble and rock were flying up the hill at us. A large rock fell right in front of me, but I was able to push a little, and then climbed it.

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Things Drunk Casino Patrons Say...

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My best friend of 20 years works in a local casino sports bar. Usually on Saturdays I go visit and once in awhile on Thursdays because she is often solo those nights. Tonight was one of those Thursday nights. One drunk patron made it, well, something or other...

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Jealous

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Reflecting on yesterday, I've decided I'm jealous. Twice a month my wife and I volunteer at the food bank sponsored by our church. It's a great opportunity to give back. About fifty percent of the volunteers there come from our church and it seems like I've known them forever. I know the spouses and all their kids.

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Star Wars Armor

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Just had to post this after watching over 4 hours the making of Star Wars documentaries.

If you are a HUGE Star Wars fan....stop now, because the story is not a happy ending for you!

Well, back in the mid 90's I worked at a place in the Hollywood biz that used to do 'The Gong show' among dozens of others in its long past and now we did award shows Oscars, Emmys and others.

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2019-08-10

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Well as of August 1st 10 days ago I managed to finish another year. 41 years old and still don't know or sure, besides stuborness and the pets, how I managed to make it this far in my life.

One other thing that helped me are the communities like BC and others I am a member of, So thank you.

Lynne

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Wednesday weak

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Well it's the end of an emotional day for me, a day spent removing my chattels from my home of some thirty years. A day in which i've had to make some hard choices, do I take this, leave that, can I live without something or add iit to the go pile.

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really bad night

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I dont want to scare people, but if this stupid blog is gonna have any meaning it has to be honest. And honestly last night was one of the worst nights I've had in a long while. I'm actually surprised I didnt do any of the ideas that came into my head ...

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Calmed down

So here we are again.

Well the initial shock of Thursday has subsided so I can be a little more rational now. Just to recap, I got home from my ride Thursday afternoon to find my home of 30+ years had been repossessed, literally at that point my possessions ran to what I was wearing and the bike! Not a good place to be for sure.

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what if this is the end?

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It has been long enough since I wrote anything that I'm starting to wonder if this is the end for me. 10 years of publishing almost every month is a pretty high rate, so a slowdown isnt that bad, but this feels less like a slowdown and more like a complete stop.

ah well, I can still read and comment I guess ...

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Just posted a new chapter

I just posted a new chapter for one of my stories - a relatively long one this time. And though I know it's past 11PM out there, I hope it's not too late.

I've been in the office since 8am, and have been waiting to meet with some contractors. I've been waiting for three hours now, and they're still not here. Anyway, while I waited, I started writing instead of sitting here and stewing. If they don't get here in 20 minutes, I'm gonna be calling their boss. This doesn't bode well for them being hired for the project.

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Dani Tries to Come Out, Fails Successfully?

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Before you read on, let me start things off by saying that I am trans m2f. Figured since I mostly keep to myself on here it might help to throw that out when reading the rest of this. Carry on!

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4.5 years

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According to my account page, I have been on this site for 4 years and 6 months. So around februari 2015.

A lot has happened in that time. There was of course a reason I found and joined this site.

By Christmas 2915 I knew that I needed to do something.
And I did,
By Christmas 2017 I was legally me, Anne, Female.
By Christmas 2018 I was on hormones for half a year.
By Christmas 2019? With some luck I may have had SRS then...

Today I turned fifty years old..

Thank you BCTS

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If

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You don't hear anything from me in a while, don't fret.
Due to my own stupidity i'm now homeless so my access to - well anything is going to be a bit hit and miss for a while.
So there we are, a tale of woe. Hopefully i'll get my act in order, I kind of a have an interim plan but that will likely have to wait until - well I get my head in order.

Ciao for now
Mads

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Sorry no Bike this weekend

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It's the anniversary of my son's death and I've been up in Wales. He used to work in the Brecon Beacons National Park so we go up there to feel near him. It's also a place of amazing scenery, wild life and geology and very popular with walkers and hikers. Today, the weather was very clear so we were able to see Pen y fan, the highest point in South Wales, the neighbouring mountains of Corn Du and the Crybin, all of which are over 800 metres and the Monmouthshire Black Mountains to the east.

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tough day

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so a very stressful day. Was running errands with my ex, and first I had an anxiety attack and had to go sit in the car for a bit. Then while we were just about done, we got a phone call saying my ex's best friend's mom had been in a car accident not far away. We went to see how she was, and although not hurt, she was clearly in shock. Then while we waited with her two different towing guys got into a fight about towing the car right in front of us.

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rough night

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Rough time at my writing group tonight. one of the ladies brought a piece that triggered one of the other ladies, and it ended up with them both crying. Before I left the leader thanked me for my involvement with thee group so there is that, I guess.

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2019-0706

Caution: 

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July isn't my favorite month of the year.

Getting asked for divorce y my ex, practically tossed out of the house my mom and birthday getting closer again without reaching anything. And not mentioning all the rest of the day to day struggles. Urgh hate how depressing I feel. How lonely I feel.At least I have the pets ...

l

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shaky days

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So I've been shaky ever since I shared "six forty five" with my writing group, which is why I've spent so much of my time looking at funny videos on youtube. I think I'm getting better, but honestly still feel like I'm having a picnic at a park surrounded by land mines ...

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