Autobiographical

Focus

So, things have kind of sucked for me and Martin. Things sucked financially before Covid, but the quarantine killed our one small source of income. Martin got offered a good paying government job and was supposed to be getting training for it, but it seems like s/he keeps getting the runaround about when that training will start after making inquiries at every level ad nauseum for almost a month. So things were looking up oh so briefly, but now seem even more frustrating and our financial situation worse than before when we were living on $70 a week.

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PTSD has me frustrated

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I'm extremely frustrated with my PTSD. I've taken therapy. Then taken even more therapy. And yet all it takes is a touch in the wrong place and I'm right back in the bad days.

Somebody, can you tell me if it ever goes away?

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The Shady Post: Plot Arcs

 

The Shady Post
Shadowed's Personal Blog
From the Depths of Her Mind
by:
ShadowedSin
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My thoughts on the world and what is coming about for the future! Expect at least one post from the Shady Place of my mind at least once a week or once every two weeks when I'm busy.

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NO MSPD this weekend

Hey everyone,

Sorry about this, but there won't be a chapter of My Super-Powered Diary this weekend. I've been trying to work on it, and tried to get it ready for yesterday, but between feeling under the weather earlier this week, being really busy, not sleeping again, and my brain being in a fog all week due to another issue, I just haven't been able to get anything written, well not anything fit for posting anyway. Hopefully I'll be able to summon the spoons to at least get Apocalypse Dawn posted on Tuesday, but we'll see how that goes.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

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hanging by a thread

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Okay so I've mentioned the rash on my belly, and yesterday I was struggling to reach the spot, I asked my mom to help. When she got close to my groin, I experienced something like being ticklish, only instead of wanting to giggle, I wanted to flinch. since then, I've been very shaky, and I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread. Hugs appreciated.

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34 years and counting...

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Monday 14th July 1986 was a big day for me, I officially went into work as a woman for the first time, so it was effectively my transition/ RLT start, I suppose I haven't looked back since. I have also now lived most of my life as female.

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A dream with a difference

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last night I had a dream with a difference. It wasn't the fact I was apparently taking classes at university and getting lost, it wasn't even the fact that when I went to the cafeteria I realized I didn't have my wallet.

It was the fact that said wallet was in my purse.

Which means that even though I was having a very bad day, I was at least attending as Dorothy, which to the best of my knowledge, has never happened to me in a dream before.

I don't know, that feels slightly hopeful to me.

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Life and You Are a Meany

Hiya Everyone
Sorry for the delay in the latest chapter of You Are a Meany. It is finished and I will be putting it up right after this post. . Life has been extremely busy for me and the little amount of time I had to write it was hard to be in the right mind space to do so. Then if I was in the right mind space I had to take care of more important situations.

The only good thing about this space of time in posting is that I did work on the last couple of chapters of the stories also so there should not be as big of a lag.

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Face App

I'm kind of enjoying FaceApp.

I used to have a sailboat, so being able to set a picture of me, as me, on a yacht, is quite nice.

Of course, my boat was only a 17 footer, but still, it was quite fun. Alas, when I bought the house I have now, I had no place to park it. The only place I could have, would have let the boat be destroyed along with my front yard with cars flying through on occasional visits.

Needless to say, I miss it. There is nothing like sailing.

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a mixed day

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Okay, so today was a mixed day. First, the bad: I had a PTSD event while in a grocery store, and that brought me down from the high I was on.

So why had I been high? Because a city worker called me "sweetheart" when he asked me to move my car.

So that was a yay, at least.

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waking up shaking

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Okay, so It's just after 8 in the morning, and I'm shaking.

See, last night I had one of my "searching" dreams. I was on the campus of a university, and was totally lost. But then I found someone in authority, and let loose a stream of anger - anger at being expected to know things I'd never been told, being left to wander around without a guide or a map.

It was the level of anger I displayed that has left me shaking.

hugs appreciated;

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Better

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For some reason, the blog entry I made yesterday hasn't shown. Oh, well.

Naped much of Saturday, went to bed early and slept in a bit on Sunday. Felt a lot better.

Took it easy Sunday, as well, though I did some errands and did a bit of writing on next Masks story. I also napped a lot and went to bed early.

Slept in a bit on Monday. Feeling vastly better. We'll see...

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Not a Well Man

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I've been fighting an irritable bowel attack for over a week. Thought I was about it over last night. Then I ate some sunflower seeds before bed.

Pretty sick all night, and taking a lot of medicines. Which meant that by the time I got soundly asleep I was *really* asleep. Woke this morning with neck and lower back hurting so bad I was barely able to feed the cats.

Gonna to use my neck traction, now. If you folks haven't heard from me in a couple of days, send someone to cut me down. :-)

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Coming out... sort of

Hi everyone at BC

I want to tell you guys a true story about myself.
I am a very religious Catholic as well as my family. I am from small town USA where i am known by almost everyone here. For this reason i have had one hell of an existence living in the closet. For many years, i have been struggling with my sexual identity and orientation.

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my daughter won an award

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My daughter Samantha has won an award from the transitions group she has been part of for the last year. It is an award based not just on her academic success, but her attitude, her kindness, and her overall progress.

When you consider we were told when she was a baby that she might never progress beyond the toddler stage, I couldn't be prouder of her.

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dreaming of my stepfather

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The causes for my C-PTSD can be separated into 2 groups. being repeatedly raped, and suffering both physical and emotionally abused by my stepfather.

Well, I dreamed about my stepfather last night. I was at a family gathering, and his name came up, and I started unleashing every bit of anger I had ever felt towards him. I woke feeling shaken, and depressed.

Hugs appreciated.

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