Three apparently random words

A regular cornucopia of images!

just!

even if it is getting prematurely dark!

Into full on whining tonight, sorry. It's been 13 weeks of Quarantine and it seems a bit excessive. If I do go out for groceries, or to take a break, it is strict face covering, goggles, and head cover. Yikes, I look like a Saudi Arabian Niqab wearing woman. As it is for all of us, being isolated in my apartment can be quite wearing, but overall I have been doing rather well, aside from frequent Ocular Migraine Headaches. These are not painful but a bit incapacitating, they are.

Well, my brother went into surgery to remove his prostrate glad, which has stage 2 cancer.

Nothing we can do but wait for word on how it went.

lend me your, er, eyes?

Right now I feel a little like the woman in the scene from the movie "airplane" who starts panicking, and then the whole plane lines up to slap her.

When it's not depression, or PTSD, it's my gender dysphoria taking it's turn at kicking me around, and that's where I am right now.

Ah, well. This too shall pass ...

the blonde one gets her post up!

Well, Lucked out again! Tuesday night I totaled my car, and almost me. On a 5 lane city street and US highway I decided to stop in at the ice cream store and get a dish to take home. This required a left turn. Somehow I missed seeing an oncoming PU truck and the end result wasn't pretty! I thought I'd survived unscathed but then I started feeling funny and, as the cliché goes, every went black. I came to as I was being taken into the ER.

For me it's been lonely sometimes. Except when it hasn't been. For most problems there is a simple and obvious solution that is wrong.

Look i'll get the hang of this daylight thing soon, I promise!

I am drained, absolutely, but am not going to use the word.

Stupidly got myself involved with yet another Mental Health person, and I thought it was going really well. Then she also began to involve a second year Medical Student. I've been feeling some frustration and over the weekend, and later, hours after a phone session with the Med. Student I became tearful, and have remained that way for days.

As promised, more photos!

Wrong!

"I exist because you say I can"

That's a line from the latest chapter of "The interview", but it also describes the way I feel going out in public as a woman.

I'm extremely lucky here, for the most part people are too busy with their own lives to worry about the guy in a dress, but I am always aware that exceptions do exist.

I never forget I do not pass, that I exist as a woman because nobody cares enough to fight me on that.

That's puts me above what some trans people deal with, but the anxiety is always there, that's just the way it is.

Things ran away from me again but its good news at least.

Well finally, here we are with another photo blog!

So last night I dreamed I was on a spaceship. It was designed a little like a sub, in that every so often there was a doorway with a door that could seal off an area if a breach occurred. I was looking for something, which has been a common theme of a lot of my dreams, by the difference in this dream was that it was clear I didn't belong, as I was always trying to keep out of the sight of the crew and passengers.

Well, since recently I've dreamed of being a movie star and a superhero, I guess I can add spy to my list of dream jobs ...

Well today has turned out well

Look I'm sorry, but a girl has to eat!

I wrote this earlier today in a PM to a friend:

Well I think you deserve one!

My carelessness has killed ANOTHER dog, I'm tired. The only true thing that kept me alive the last time is the current dog who is dying in the corner. He was my last hold to a life I no longer have and the with him hours from death himself, I don't really have anything more I want to do. I did this too. I knew the warning signs from the last tragedy and I carelessly ignored them all and got myself into the SAME situation again.I'm a HORRIBLE person.

I'm tired of trying.