I am extremely fortunate to count Dorthy Coleen and Rebeca Jane,and Arwen of Arwen Arwen's tears as my friends. I have my share of bad dreams, they have been wearing me down in the form of depression, I take it on faith I will recover from my stroke, I don't feel I have any other choice, My phone is my lifeline, Rachael Ann, Long time user of BCTS stepped forward to give me someone to talk to. I feel guilty keeping Rebeca from her writing, as I enjoy it too. But it got me through the night. As did Dot on the BCTS chat room on a particularly bad night.

If you're on Facebook, and want a join a group that focuses on being nice, here is one I've joined :

https://www.facebook.com/groups/2135830679765650/

I was looking at my account info here, and discovered that my 9th anniversary of being on this site had come and gone without me noticing.

Ah, well, belated happy anniversary to me.

You guys are still the best bunch of crazies I've found yet ...

okay, so anyone following this blog knows the last while has not been very good for me.

Today kinda made up for it.

First, it was a hot day, so I decided to break out a skirt for the first time this year, and while I was out walking the dog, an elderly lady complimented me on my outfit, making me blush.

Then, tonight, I took Sharon and Samantha to a pizza place for supper, and as I got out of the car, Samantha remarked on the skirt, suggesting that I might want shorts under it in case a breeze blew it up, and Sharon agreed.

Oh, wait, that darn crazy git is me! Ack!

Well, another year has gone by and I'm still kicking and fighting, not fighting in the physical sense so much as fighting the depression that comes up now and then. I'm not dealing with serious depression at the moment, so I'll take that as a bonus.

Anywho, I'm sitting here staring at the computer screen, I'm officially 52 years old and I want to live a damn lot longer!

I hope everyone else is having a good day today; I'll be heading for bed in a while, I'm starting to wind down now.

I am in a frustrating place in terms of my writing. I can visualize the final chapter of "By the rivers of Babylon", but when it comes to actually writing words ... I seem to be stuck.

sighs, I really wanted to try and finish that story so I could move on to other things ...

well, I think I spoke too soon about my depression lifting. I'm in a bad place where the only relief I seem to get from sadness is just being numb.

Worse, my writing has dried up, leaving me without one of my major outlets for dealing with crap.

I'm sorry to have to ask, but all hugs, prayers, or positives about me are appreciated.

Well, after spending the last five days in a massive depression, I seem to slowly getting back up. Still, if anybody wants to send hugs or anything, I'll be glad to take them ...

Just a quick note or two.

Well my best laid plans have fallen by the way side as my internet access so far this trip has been sketchy at best and non existent most of the time.

Anyhow, we've had a great trip so far, a mostly mill pond North Sea crossing and wall to wall blue skies and sunshine ever since. Gab has. Been enjoying herself with visits to Hameln of rat fame and the windmill museum up at Luneberg Heide. Maybe the other windmill visits were a bit more 'if we must' but we've some great stuff planned for the way back.

Well yesterday was a landmark for my family - all of my immediate blood relations over four generations in one room at once. Sounds impressive but it's only five people (I do have a host of cousins etc so we aren't such a tiny family really) Anyhow I spent about three hours holding a very well behaved grandson as two exhausted parents failed to summon energy for more than drinking tea!

Whew! Like my old baseball hero, Mickey Mantle, said: "If I'd known I was gonna get this old, I'da taken better care of myself!"

Well, I'm not old... compared to trees, or mountains, right?

I hope everyone has a great day, and thanks all for your comments and friendship. Also, thanks to Princess Chelsea for the skype Birthday greeting.

Catherine Linda Michel

I hate being negative all the time. I've been pretty sick lately so I shut down for a while. I was at the PT(physical therapist today,She had me standing between parallel bars on both feet. I threw up later not a bad thing since every time I use new muscles differently it happens. She was working harder than I was try to keep my bad left leg straight,Not a major break through, but will take what comes my way. But for a short while before I abused their trash can(again)I was standing up and swaying between feet. Using my good arm (for balance and good leg to stand between the bars.

For my fans (I still have fans, I think), just to let you know that it still will be awhile before I have more for you guys to read, as real life is eating into my writing spoons.

But I will still check in and leave kudos and comments as I can ...

I just returned home from overeating at a local Chinese all you can eat buffet. The food is great 7 the place is clean. First plate was 10 shrimp, 2 fish fillets, 2 lobster rolls and crab/cheese casserole. Second plate was a slice of ham, mashed potatoes, gravy with meat balls and broccoli & cheese casserole. Third plate was a slice of cheese cake, a piece of chocolate cake, a slice of pineapple, and an orange wedge. Fourth plate (8") was peach slices and 3 halved bananas covered in cherry sauce. That was buried in 2 inches of chocolate soft serve ice cream topped with peanuts.

Had a friend who works at a store I shop at ask me if I watch RuPaul's Drag Race. She assumed that because I'm trans that of course I do.

I told her no. That I hated the show, that I would turn it to the worst Z-movie in the world before I'd watch it. She laughed and asked me why.

Next weekend I'll be going offline.
Until I can find an isp that isn't using a security nightmare single signon scheme for accessing services.
and ALL single signon services are a security nightmare, 1 database for criminals to target to gain massive amounts of data on everyone using it.
Facebook, Google, MS, yahoo accounts all fall into this classification.

and I doubt I'll be looking very hard for an isp

Update...

My aunt got through her surgery okay, and is going to be looked after by family while she recovers. It doesnt mean she's totally out of the woods yet, but things are looking up.

If my extended family has a knack, its to make a bad situation worse.

My aunt is going into the hospital on Thursday to get treated for cancer in her uterus, and two of my other aunts decided that wasn't enough stress, so they started fighting over who will look after my aunt when she gets out of the hospital.

Sighs ...

I didn't blog here for more than four years... :-(

Many thinks happened during this time:
I removed my old "disguise" completely after Halloween 2013. Fortunately there were no problems at all at work and in my private life.
August 2014 the status and name change was finalized, including my birth certificate.

I got scary angry today and managed to break a shovel in half.

Sighs ... all the work I've done on trying to get a handle on myself, and I still do stuff like this ...

This past Saturday afternoon, my Inbound freight manager, a beautiful woman by the name of Dana, and I boarded a plane in Charlotte, NC, headed for Phoenix, AZ. Beyond our good timing at escaping the bizarre ritualistic festival surrounding Billy Graham’s funeral in Charlotte, we were headed to Phoenix for the annual RILA gathering which was scheduled there this year

Alright first blog. Blog blog. Sorry I left some stuff unfinished and may not have responded to messages, I was feeling bad about my writing and was avoiding logging in for a while because of anxiety. Plus I'm pretty busy with school.

Honestly, with some of the stuff I posted I was hoping it being posted would motivate me to work on it, but nope. So some of the stuff I just have no ideas of how to continue while remaining interesting.

My sister in law had to put down one of her cats today. Needless to say, we're all sad here.