I had one of those DoH moments where I felt very mean My son was returning me to bed at the end of a day with mt two year old grand baby watching he took off my wig to. My mouth led my brain as I said Ow!Uncle Jim just ripped my hair off Her eyes got real big and she ran out of the room he chased her down an showed her my hair wasn't real.I was feeling very small right then, lesson learned. Posted on FB yesterday.

tommorrow I am going to have surgery on my ankle this will surgery # 5 from a break that happened in April 2014. the moral of the story is watch out fhe ladder

Just a quick note. I had some facial eruptions on Monday last (9th) which I thought were due to a resident Staph. infection I have. This has gotten progressively worse during the week, though curiously limited in extent. I was given antibiotics which didn't seem to help.

After severe pain early this morning I went and saw an emergency doctor with a completely different result.

After having watched one of my favorite anime series yet again (I My Me! Strawberry Eggs), I can really feel for Hibiki Amawa-sensei.

I have a lot of sadness within me, and maybe a little too much bitterness that I need to deal with. I think, at times, we all have the ability to become bitter and calloused, if we allow ourselves to wallow in self-pity and doubt. Well, I'm tired of just wallowing. Thanks to the person (you know who you are) that pointed out what I could not see- that I had begun to let the bitterness consume me. I don't want to become THAT person.

True story. When I was in elementary, I went to the principal and asked to be promoted to the next grade. Trying to give a reason why I shouldn't, the principal gave me a test equal to what that grade would get. I passed it. Then he gave me a test for the next grade. I passed it. Finally, he gave me a test given to university students, and I failed. When I realized they weren't going to let me skip a grade, I bawled like a baby, saying I had been trying to catch up to my brother, who was 2 1/2 years older than I was.

40 something years later, i still haven't caught up to him.

After dinner this evening, I sat with my oldest son and watched the end of the movie Platoon. One of the final lines of the movie that Charlie Sheen gives through a voice over as he is medivac'd out has always stuck with me. "Those of us that did make it have an obligation to rebuild - to try and find some goodness out of what we survived."

That could be applied to most of us in one way or another. We are all survivors in our own way, and we all have an obligation to make the world better - not just for ourselves, but for our children and for those who will follow after us.

Due to several members of my spouse's family creeping around the internet and trying to find things to use against me, including anything I have posted on this website, I asked for my posts to be un-published. I have also changed my name in order to hopefully put a firebreak in any trail they have been following.

Hi to all the old readers of my stories, namely The girl inside the boy and Carla's Journey, I haven't done any writing for quite a while because life become very busy once you have fully transitioned, I have been post op now for four years and have never looked back. But of course there are always some family members that will never recognise your change, it is their problem not yours. I may in the future do some more writing and being seventy one years of age with a bit of a heart problem I am happy to just read some of the stories published on Big Closet.

I have spent hours this evening trying to complete my returns to maintain my licence to tickle dormice. At the end the other computer rejected them twice. As this is a priority for me, I shall have to keep trying at this when I have time so Bike is on hold until I get it right. Thanks for your patience, I'm sure you'll enjoy the next twist in Cathy's story when I get round to writing it.

I just put a new story up a little while ago, and in the process, it seems I rediscovered my little. I hadn't seen hide nor hair of her since late 2005, so more than eleven years have gone by, yet it seems I woke her up, so to speak, simply by using the name Jessica in my piece.

As I said, I hadn't had her come out for so long that I actually forgot her name, which is Jessica. What makes it even odder, at least for me, is I've read who knows how many stories featuring someone named or renamed Jessica, or written by someone named Jessica.

Well with 2 exasperations of my copd in one month my doc ordered lung xrays.
Got those done yesterday morning. This afternoon I got called to see her about the results.

1) Results normally take 2 business days to get back to her, one day is very fast.
2) She doesn't go over results with patients without patient request unless there is bad news.

my appointment is Wednesday.

Well, today was kinda a shaky day.

It started with me being rather fragile as I went to bed last night, and then I got woken up at around 5 AM by my mom in a panic because she had locked herself out of her car.

She finally calmed down enough to phone AMA to get them to come and unlock her car for her, but by that point, her struggles had kinda infested me and I spent most of the day struggling with being more fragile, which made a pretty busy day just a bit less fun than it might have been.

I hope everyone had a good Christmas. I also would like to wish you all a Happy New Year. We had a very different Christmas this year. Instead of spending it at home; we went to my in laws. I'm not complaining. I love my in laws. As much as I love my own parents. My only grumble about living in the UK is that I miss the snow. Hey I'm a Boston girl we're experts on snow lol. The kids had a great time especially as they were on the floor in sleeping bags. Well the older ones were the baby was in his mobile crib aka Moses basket.

Looks out of closet in terror but has done it. Anti androgens, oestrogen spironalactone etc. The long road starting with trading in moobs for the real deal has begun. All legal and above board. You are never to old to make the decisions. Have been dressing and purging in secret for over 45 years. Please wish me luck i may need it.

Full-time now. New name, new gender, same old person.

Okay, weird dream last night. I found myself in a haunted house, fighting ghosts with not much more than my bare hands, and as remarkable as it seems, I won. But the dream wasn't done yet. At the end of the fight, God told me to pray for one of the ghosts to return to his body and live again. I did as I was told, with my hand on a casket, and the person was restored to life.

If God's trying to tell me something, I think I need an interpreter ...

Well, I got some tentative good news about the money I am owed from Walmart. I got the last piece of info I needed to send in the forms they asked for, and mailed everything off today. I have been told that I should get a check early in the new year.

Should I cross my fingers?

I just got back from Graduation where I graduated Summa Cum Laude the only one in my major. I now have an associate's degree in applied sciences software developement. I'm still trying to come to terms with the fact I finally have a degree and I graduated Summa Cum Laude.

Today I am officially starting my third decade of life.

Interestingly enough, I've been a contributing member of BCTS for just short of a third of the time I've been on the face of the planet! Weird huh?

Melanie E.

I damaged my car this morning, I was in serious pain all day and feeling sick to my stomach so I couldnt take anything, the pain set off my PTSD, so I spent most of the day fighting panic attacks ..

Sighs ... just another day ...

huggles appreciated, folks.

I know it's only a couple of days since my last post/blog. But my daughter (Eldest) should avoid me if she wants to see Christmas. We had a parent-teacher meeting at school. Generally she's really doing pretty well in school. She reads well and considering she was held back a year I'm proud of her. Due to the time of her birthday and the UK education system. While in her first school she had to repeat her last year. Her teacher at that school was amazing and he kept her busy. Helping any class members who were struggling.

You remember all that fighting I went through to get my drugs covered by my work even though that had been promised from the day I was hired, and they finally told me they got it fixed?

Well, I tried it out today, and my wonderful drug plan saved me a grand total of under 2 dollars on a 45 dollar refill of my estrogen gel.

Can I pull my hair out now?