The good news first. I passed at least one exam (19/25 so Yeuh ;) ) and I'm losing weight (double Yeuh :D )

Now the bad part. Everything, except school, I touch does a 'crash and burn'. and it's getting to me. . My Mom spending another 2 weeks in the hospital due to a little 'crise' didn't help. The general situation in the world isn't helping either ( thinking about a Heinlein quote right now).

So here I am just like during the first semester exams almost hitting the bottom and I got the feeling I'll keep on falling.

I got some high praise from Shadowblade, and I wanted to share it.

"you have been around on this site for some time and your presence is nothing less of a godsend to many of the writers. You always take the time to read and post nice comments. When I said pillar of the community I truly meant it! You are like the guiding star the sailor uses to steer his ship."

I am totally bowled over by this compliment.

A couple weeks ago, I went to the VA to get a Doctor to look at a spot on my back that never heals, so I wanted to see if it was Cancer. Spent about a half hour with the doctor and left, and then in about a few days I get a call from another Doctor that said that she was told that I wanted to start living as a man again. What ?!? The!

Yesterday I watched an interesting documentary on King Tut, and they did a "virtual autopsy" on his body. Apparently, he suffered from a hormonal imbalance, resulting in him having wider hips and a small amount of breast growth.

Even more interesting was that the condition was hereditary, and his dad had it even worse, looking a lot like a woman with some facial hair and a male organ.

So I find myself wondering who wants to do a King Tut the trans Pharaoh story?

Any takers?

I has to work today, a record hot day in the Portland, OR metro area. When I came home, I slipped into a lightweight skirt and cotton blouse to enjoy the cool air conditioned living room. My wife offered to let me choose what TV channel to watch. After a quick scan, the listings showed me that "Sister Act" was just starting on ION so I opted to watch that, since I've always liked the movie. As it got over I saw that "Sister Act Two" was airing. Having never seen it, I decided to watch it.

When I was around a year old my aunt Paula moved in with my mom to help take care of me. My sperm donor was never much of a parent, even then, and between me, her job, and a little sister on the way, she needed the help. To this day, my aunt has been a huge influence on me, both in the things I like and the way I see the world.

Stories as comfort food.

I finally received my keys to the new place today. That meant a day of moving furniture and trying to get at least the kitchen into a working state. We failed on that but a singular carton of milk is spending the night in the fridge which is humming on the lowest possible setting. Shopping for food will happen on Wednesday!

I reckon I'll be able to cook from tomorrow (once I have food!) so the focus will move to the bathrooms (supplies & cleaning) then to my bedroom.

I am travelling to wilder parts again so will unavailable having little or no broadband. My best wishes to everybody especially those members who have shared news of their own lives.

Hugs and love all round

So. Memorial Weekend is upon us once again. Funny how that happens about this time every year. Celebrating my 8th B'day (8 years post-transition) and remembering the monumental few days surounding this date 8 years ago.

I am seeking advice on several fronts and I will break it down as follows.

1. First I am trying to lose a great deal of weight and I am pretty sure that my medications may be inhibiting this, they are spironolactone, adderal, risperidone, and clomipramine. I really want to lose weight before I transition.

While I was distracted with other things, my 7th anniversary here passed a couple of weeks ago.

So even though its late, let me thank Erin, Piper, and all the people who keep this site going, as well as all the writers whose stories I've enjoyed, and all the readers, especially those who have left a comment on my own humble works.

Happy anniversary huggles to everybody!

Progress!

I agreed the rent with the new landlord yesterday, all bar £2 is covered by the local council housing department so that just leaves utilities. I also now have a moving in date - 1st June. My daughter is going to spend a few days with my mother and I'll remain in the hotel (we'll need the room Mon/Tues next week so don't want to give it up yet!)

No word on the clothes etc, so I'm chasing that today. I'm also chasing why the UK TV licensing lot have taken my money twice (television not trans!).

Shiraz

The first of what may (or may not) turn out to be a series of blog posts chronicling my transition.

Entry 0: introductory babbling.

Well I'm going to gamble on something. If it doesn't work I'll lose what savings I have left but otherwise everything will change.

My life my choice ...

Now that the first step worked between this and next year so if nothing changes in that time it will be a pretty stressing period.

Lynne

Would it be appropriate for me to use my BigCloset user blog to chronicle my experiences transitioning (along with the TMI of my life as it somehow relates to transition and gender)?

Life likes giving me little ironies.

Like today is my 5th anniversary of working for Walmart, and so every time I swiped my badge I got a "Happy Anniversary" message.

So why is that ironic?

Because today I also got my official walking papers saying my last day with Walmart will be Friday.

Ah, well.

I'm taking the day off, going down to OC and maybe the beach or Downtown Disney.

Piper and Cat will be on and off and they can reach me on my phone. Have fun everyone!

Hugs,
Erin

Today is the annual Belgian Pride ( or 'Roze Zaterdag' ( 'Pink Saterday" ) for my generation and older > few namechanges for the event over the years). The focus this year is / was (day is almost over) transgender rights. Sadly enough I wasn't able to go. Especially since I used to volunteer year in / year out for it.

I am so close to committing murder I've had to sit down and scribble this to distract myself. I hung a line of washing out at 2.00pm at 4.00pm I notice my next door neighbour's tenant has lit a bonfire and is burning garden waste - it's like a scene from Sink The Bismark. I knew if I said anything and he answered back I'd be over the hedge and stuffing him on top of his stupid bonfire. He's a bit bonkers anyway but I shall speak to my neighbour when he comes back from holiday.

My washing is mostly dry but smells of smoke - bloody men(well some of them).

The fingers have been back at the keyboard this week so I must be feeling a bit less stressed. Last weekend was just hell for me, one of the lowest places I've ever been. Anyway, pulled myself back from the brink, did the paperwork that the housing folks were demanding and it seems to have worked, sort of.

Last Wednesday at work I was revamping office/store space where I work. I was short of breath the entire 5 hours. I wrote it off to being out of shape from having my left knee replaced in December and putting on some weight during recovery. My co-workers told me to go get checked out. Since I've been going to the gym twice a week (spending 1/2 hour on the rowing machine plus other stuff) I decided to see the doc thinking I might be coming down with bronchitis.

Had my appointment with my psychiatrist today and walk away holding a box with 2 red diagonal bars on it. Wich will hold me for 20 days so way longer then the exams I'll be taking it for.

As of now money is tight (first month use my pension) and I don't see that that will change. Got about 60euro left for the rest of the month. *sigh* Good thing I'll probably have lesser bills next month ...

I love my church.

Every Mother's day, they give every woman a flower.

They so wanted to make sure I got one they gave me two