that when I was looking at something on my personal account page that a month ago I achieved my 10th anniversary as a member here. It doesn't seem that long ago, though it might to some of my readers. In those days I was only posting the odd blog here while I was still writing Snafu for Sapphire's Place and the early attempts at doing some Gaby stories on Maddy's site, then I got soaked riding my bike in a thunderstorm and Bike happened.

Well, my doctor got the results of my ultrasound and its much worse than I could have feared. My liver is very fatty, my kidneys are enlarged, and I am in serious trouble unless I can make a total 180 on my eating habits.

You add to this the fact I was already struggling emotionally and spiritually, and I am in a very bad place at the moment.

hugs and prayers appreciated.

Nature is reputedly red in tooth and claw, things will kill each other possibly to eat or as rivals. This was the sad end to our dormouse survey today. The picture contains the body of a dormouse which has been attacked and killed possibly by a wood mouse. It was the only one we found today, making it doubly sad. To think the poor thing survived the winter then possibly went torpid overnight and met a wood mouse...

I consulted my GP this afternoon about a couple of patches of something probably solar induced on my face and right arm. The bit on my arm is no problem, I have a plaster on it since he zapped it with liquid nitrogen and it feels fine. It'll breakdown and weep for a couple of days, crust over and heal up. The other thing is on my nose. He wasn't sure what it was but we agreed to zap it as well, though he did offer to wait a bit longer and have my nose amputated. I opted for the liquid nitrogen again.

God if I have to hear anymore Hold Music I am going to snap!

45 minutes on hold with the Good Old Sate DPS customer service to find out where my License is since I renewed it over a Month ago.

Now I have been on Hold with one of the local hospital for 30 minutes on hold!

If I ever find the people that designed those automated systems just to get threw to a human being, and or chose there Hold music, it will not be pretty.

Sometime last evening, I read a new chapter of A Longer War by Cyclist.

This has proven to be one of my favorite stories, and many of the chapters have had a serious impact on me - especially the early ones. As the story progressed, it continued to stir my emotions and sentiments - although for different reasons. But this latest chapter, lake many of the early ones, has stricken a particular chord within me.

I'm not in a good place right now, I'm not functioning at all and haven't been for months. The only thing that distracts me is reading and it isn't working as well anymore. I'm either constantly near tears or in tears and I'm constantly wishing the pain would end and thinking about how I wouldn't mind so much.

Well, I had a very bad day today. First, I tried to get my pink slip from my old work only to be told its up to my local guy - a guy I cant even get a hold of - to get that done.

Then, I went out and found that someone had gotten into my car - again - and threw everything in my glove compartment around. At least this time, my battery wasn't dead ...

Well, this has been an ... interesting week.

Depending upon how you say the title, it could almost be the start if a music hall joke, except I've been essaying an essay essay as an essay all day. If that doesn't make sense, neither does most of what I wrote. An essay can be an attempt, a piece of written work shorter than a treatise, a first draft, a trial or an experiment; according to Chamber's.

So last night, my mom and I were talking about when she was a kid, and it occurred to me we had something in common. See, she's left-handed, and in those days, they tried to "fix" left-handed people by belittling them and physically punishing them. My mom was assumed to stubborn, stupid, mentally ill, or even just evil just because she was different from the norm. Gee, that sounds a LOT like what trans people go through ...

Well, it was a mixed bag of emotions at my daughter's birthday last night. I was very happy to have some time with her, of course, and the food was good, but the conversation ?

Well, not so much.

See, my mom started talking about my brother going to college, and my sister in law going to university, and how successful they were and are, but when it came to mentioning me ... well, let's just say I have had less success in my life.

Just finished a conference by phone, and it was chaos. There has been a stabbing, shooting and murder-by-car at our Parliament, and many of the people I was talking to were in lockdown, literally. Everyone I know (including one member of the House of Lords) in the area is safe.

Some of you may recall me mentioning a leg issue over the last few weeks, well it got worse at the weekend so today I availed myself of the services of the NHS.

You don't need the gritty but the long and short is that I have a venal blood clot in my thigh. It's a wonder it hasn't done for me with my riding over the last few weeks but the expert's seem to think the prognosis is reasonable.

Gee, moved into this place July last year.
since Dec 10 this is the 3rd round of pneumonia. :(

I gotta find a new place or I'll be dead at this rate.

Bailey Summers' newest chapter of Jem got me thinking of a moment when I was a teenager.

A couple of girls who had become part of an unofficial D & D group with me were at one of their houses and we were just goofing around, and then the girls decided it was too hot and since they didn't have bathing suits handy, they simply stripped to their underwear. Despite feeling a touch self-conscious about my body, somehow I got talked into doing the same.

The last two weeks have been odd for me as my muse apparently wandered off with no warning at all. I had been posting pieces on an average of about every 2.5 to 3 days until that point, and I expected that to continue, so when it didn't, I felt like I was lost in writer's limbo.

I haven't written anything since I posted Betrayed on February 18th, and I was beginning to be worried that my muse was gone for good.

Thankfully, she has returned, and I am about to start writing the first piece of a new story.

Just an FYI... I will be in the endzone at the #SheBelievesCup matches today in Harrison, NJ.

As a pastime and to help de-stress I have been doing sports photography for a sports blog.

If you are at all interested in Soccer/Futbol England vs USA will be televised on FOX at 5pm eastern.

When the game is over I will try doing a blog of photo highlights.

-HuGs-
-Piper

I was getting into essay writing mode when my printer played up again, it did so last weekend when I was trying to print off a couple of scientific papers that I could quote or cite to justify my case. I was trying to do the same again, print off a paper on sustainable use of the forest when it started playing up again. It's amazing how quickly an hour can pass when you're enjoying yourself - so why is it so slow when waiting at an airport or railway station?

There are a lot of pagans in the trans community.When someone reveals they are pagan I treat it as something confidential and will not tell anyone else what I know and feel very complimented by their trust. The numbers do surprise me though. I am curious what drew people in.

I don't know if this will help anyone except as a cautionary tale and maybe a warning to frequently check your bank accounts.

I came back from holiday a little more than a week ago and went to the ATM to withdraw some pocket money, only to be told that my account was now invalid, so I went into the branch and asked what was going on. The nice lady at the Help desk took my card and called up my details on the computer. She turned the screen towards me and I immediately saw that I had been hacked and robbed.

Many of you will be aware that one of my favourite characters, Arwel Powell, was based on my cousin Tom. He finally succumbed to his cancer and passed away last night. Words really do fail me.

Well, today was a bit of adventure.

It started with getting a phone call from a friend who was crying so hard she could hardly talk.

Then I went to the police station to get my fingerprints done so I can change my name, and when I got there I realized I needed 2 pieces of I.D., and I only had one on me, so I had to go back home, get my birth certificate, and go back to the station.

But I got my fingerprints done, so that's one step down.

This is one of those days that I truly dislike winter. The weather's been mostly okay, although we're getting light snow right now.

The temperature has dropped about 9°C (16°F) in the last twelve hours or so, and I'm quite cold sensitive, I feel it even indoors. When it gets cold enough, the pain from my Fibromyalgia becomes more noticeable and I'm more likely to have a migraine build-up.