This last year or two has been really trying and I haven't really been here much, for that and anyone that might have been reading my story... I truly am sorry. I know most, if not all of us, have their own personal demons that they constantly have to deal with, I know that I'm not special in that regard. For a long time I had thought that I had finally gotten them beaten into submission, while not truly gone they for the most part were pretty quiet for a few years after I started my transition. I had gotten a bit too care free I guess.

I'm just curious if any of you all deal with this kind of issue. I've been fighting off and on getting my muse to cooperate for awhile. I actually had a four day weekend thanks to work being slow and MLK day today. I thought oh my god I have four days to write, I can get a good portion of what's left to Alternative written out... One might think that, I mean I thought I could... When I first started posting stories I made myself a promise that I wouldn't actually start writing another story while I'm in the middle of writing another...

I haven't really mentioned this to many people, as I didn't like thinking about it... Although trying not to think about something just seems to make one think about it more... I just figured I'd let you all know what I'm facing next week, and honestly I'm pretty worried. I thought I'd share, any positive vibes can't hurt right now...

Just wanted to share something funny that happened to me early this morning, now I will admit at the time I was not amused in the least, but afterwards... It’s pretty funny.

My exciting adventure that happened this morning... At 3 flipping AM... Taz, the cat, decided that he desperately wanted to get up on the counter in the bathroom... We leave the toilet lid up and the seat down...

I got back into the clinic yesterday after a phone conversation the other day with the new administrator. He was NOT happy with the way I was treated. While she was ‘following’ his guide lines, barely, she screwed up with how fast she dropped my Spiro... She dropped it to 125MG a day from 250MG... While he said he didn’t see any major effects to my health from it being that high from my prior records, he didn’t like the amount I was taking.

I just wanted to share...Especially after the last six years since I ‘came out’ and started my transition. For over two years I had almost no contact with my children, but after a long fight I regained custody of my two oldest... Starting with my oldest two and a half years ago, then my middle last year... They both had been struggling with a parent who was never there (Not me I wasn’t allowed to be there), and had basically been raising themselves. They both moved down here with me struggling to maintain a 2.4 and 2.1 GPA...

I know how every single one of us rarely have enough time in the day to get what needs to be done. I know most of you all have heard the term, 'burning the candle at both ends' but lately it feels like I've a candle in each hand and both of the ends are burning... I've been pretty open about my job (aircraft mechanic), and that I have two of my daughters with me now. The job along along with single parenting duties were taxing enough, giving me very little time to write. Now it seems that my wonderful daughters have gotten me roped into yet more...

Just yesterday in an attempt to write something, trying to get over the writers block I was having trying to get my new story started I started my autobiography... Many friends have over the last few years been begging me to write my story, to which I never intended to every try. Yesterday though when I was just going to toy around with it, something happened... Words just flew out of me, along with a lot of emotions, and in a half hour of typing my autobiography was started...

This is so frustrating and not sure what I should do... I'm so close to wrapping up Robbie's Revelation (The 1st book at least), I have 3 maybe 4 chapters left to where I want to end the Revelation part at.. Now my time is already limited severely for writing, so what's my muse decide to do?!? She starts throwing a completely new story around in my head and it's distracting me from finishing Revelation...

Trying to get her to focus on the story I want to write right now would be harder than herding cats..

I just found out earlier today that one of the greatest men I have ever known passed away. Technically he was my Step-Dad, but honestly he was so, so much more to me than that. He was the man that stepped in and stepped up to being my 2nd Dad after my own passed away when I was 7. He was the one that taught me to be the kind of person I wanted to be. Someone who stands up for what they believe, to stand up and support your friends and family. The person that taught me to always do the right thing, not just when people are watching, but especially when people aren't.

I admit it I feel like one at times, I was working on my next chapter and while I was taking a break I thought I'd check to see if there was any feedback from any of my stories. I notice then that my first 5 offerings had all passed over 100 Kudos each and I got all excited. I admit I am a very new author, so any positive feedback has me all sorts of happy... It doesn't take much at times, I know this.

In between writing chapters right now I was rereading some of my old stuff, and thought this would be worth sharing here. This was one, that a few years ago that earned me speaking to several different support groups in my immediate area. While I wasn't writing fiction back then, I was more of an emotional writer. When I would end up with an emotional high, either good or bad, I would usually write everything out to get it off my chest. 95% of the time when I would write it all out it would end up deleted since writing it out did what I needed it to do.

I just wanted to drop a note introducing myself, I looked for somewhere to put it linking it to my author page and couldn't find a place for it. It might be just my unfamiliarity being new here, or it might be a function I can't access from my Ipad. I have my oldest two daughters here with me now for thanksgiving week, so getting access to my Computer is slim to none, so I'm using what I have available. Heehee. Anyway as I said I am new here and wanted to introduce myself.