In between writing chapters right now I was rereading some of my old stuff, and thought this would be worth sharing here. This was one, that a few years ago that earned me speaking to several different support groups in my immediate area. While I wasn't writing fiction back then, I was more of an emotional writer. When I would end up with an emotional high, either good or bad, I would usually write everything out to get it off my chest. 95% of the time when I would write it all out it would end up deleted since writing it out did what I needed it to do. Occasionally I would write something I felt was worthwhile to share, this happened to be one of them. Hope you enjoy it.

Over the past couple of years I have had so many people question the things I do... Well of course people questioning my transition, but that isn't what I am talking about. When I first started along my path there were several people that asked what I would do for work once I transitioned, since it was so obvious that an aircraft mechanic is too manly a job.. Now I have had people ask me about my second job, as door security at a bar, isn't being a woman "bouncer" strange... A lot of these questions have come from the transgender community, but not just from them.. I understand people not wanting to draw attention to the fact they have transitioned so they can just "blend" in, but what I am hoping to say is much more than just what line of work you do doesn't define you... It's so much more to it..Too often I get the feeling that so many have fought to "fit" into a stereotype so no one would figure out they were "different", only to finally accept themselves and then fight to "fit" into another stereotype once starting to transition..

I spent most of my whole life trying to be that masculine macho guy, so that no one would ever have a clue to the truth.. I did this very, very well.. Once I started to accept who, and what I am, I no longer cared to "fit" into a nice neat little box anymore.. I am different.. No matter how much I wanted to be 100% male back then, I know I was never truly one.. Also no matter how much I would like to be 100% woman, I also know I will never be totally a woman.. I know I have the mind, heart, and soul of a woman, but it was encased in a very large masculine exterior.. That is my truth, I Am different, and that its okay to be different.. What I do for work, how I present, and my anatomy does not define who I am as a person.. People that know me, know that my actions, and how I treat people truly defines me, that my friends is how it should be.. I think most people know that I am a somewhat decent person that usually tries to do the right thing..

As far as the whole gender deal, I'm going to tell you something that I have figured out... Society has created the "gender binary" as in there is only male or female with nothing in between.. If you don't fit either of the binaries most people believe that society will make fun of you.. The truth of the matter is that there has been no one alive that would ever truly fit into that binary concept.. It is okay to be a manly, man, that has a tender side, or a feminine woman who does like to do "manly" things, or any mix in between.. Too often people hide things so they will fit in, I have a problem with this. When someone hides a portion of their personality, of who they are, because they are afraid of what people might think, they give that person power over their well being, their sense of self worth, and their happiness.. The only person that has the power to effect your happiness, your self worth, is you.. As far as myself I know my self worth, and I refuse to let someone make me feel less because they don't agree with how I live my life..

In closing, I want to say this.. We all have so many different facets to who we are, what makes us so uniquely you.. Like a diamond the more facets that show, the more brilliant, the more light that is refracted, and the higher the value of the gem.. When one starts trying to hide a facet, they essentially take a sharpie to that diamond and start blacking out facets.. When you show the diamond you are to the world, do you want it to shine in all its glory? or have half of it blackened out and shining so much less..