Please, no suicide intended.
When all the trauma and rejection of coming out recedes into the past, one can start to feel normal and happy; feeling validated in almost every way as a woman. It seemed as all was well and fully accepted despite my lack of Uterus. Today I got a call from a medicare healthcare provider, and they addressed me as Mister. It's been years since that has happened to me, and I was frankly shocked, having almost completely forgotten the past and standing on the edge of ending it. It seems that I had started to think of myself as some sort of princess, entirely worthy of the sense of well being that infused my being.
Now, almost a day since it happened, it is dumbfounding that a person could return almost instantly to that dangerous place they once occupied, having taken so much time to have gotten to that happy place they inhabited until just this morning. Now I am angry and defensive, in fact hypersensitive to any word or gesture that could seem to invalidate my existence. Feeling this way makes me feel like an offended child sulking in the corner after someone took my lolly.
Perhaps I had gotten too complacent, almost to the point of being egocentric. Well this is guaranteed to pop your balloon isn't it? Perhaps I'll go have a good sulk and soak in the tub; feeling sorry for myself until it gets tiresome.
Gwen
Comments
Wrong response
Don't get sorry, get angry.
This isn't your problem, it belomgs to that health provider. Either their records are out of date or you had a particularly insensitive or malicious caller.
Either way the right thing to do is get on their case and complain. They have insulted you, perhaps unintentionally, and you need redress. Don't make a drama out of it but make sure you press your point. It is 2016 and that kind of attitude should have gone years ago.
Use the fire to provide yourself with a purpose. I know such incidents can hit hard but you have to find a coping strategy and a certain level of anger can be used constructively.
Penny
Perhaps illegal?
I'm not an attorney, but I think that, at least where I live, what happened was illegal if it was done on purpose. Yes, I felt assaulted and had a good sob over it, but that does not preclude a response on my part. And, I think it likely that the US Military is the originator of the confusion, since they refuse to change gender on a DD214. That may have changed recently, so I will investigate that also.
It is not over, though it sometimes takes years and tears to bring these things to their rightful conclusion.
I have a meeting with the company on Friday.
Gwen
Before we go all medieval on their ass
Is it possible that the caller just made a mistake? I have had cold calls from people that referred to me as sir, and i am cis female. If the person persistently continued addressing you that way after correction I would recommend asking to speak to his/her/its supervisor.
I suppose my question is whether there was malicious intent. I certainly have read enough to understand the hypersensitivity on this issue for people who are trans. Outward validation is huge in supporting self-esteem, but it is not the most important factor in who you are.
It is a sad fact that many transgender people have a difficult time trying to be physically convincing. The most important factor, in my opinion, is how you see yourself followed by how people consciously treat you.
When something like this happens, please try to return your focus to those people who lift your spirits rather than the unhappy few who only feel better about themselves when they are bringing someone else down.
Be kind to those who are unkind, tolerant toward those who treat you with intolerance, loving to those who withhold their love, and always smile through the pains of life.
Not my own best friend.
Lots of us have low self image.
At 69 there is not much burden to be sexy and vivacious, and I have the seductive voice, and feminine deportment. Her asking for "Mr." was a shock, and dredged up old business because a dozen years ago there were definitely issues with passing. Voice training can be extremely hard but once you get it, and most can, your new voice will override a multitude of imperfections.
It's important that self condemnation does not creep in. Friday I have a meeting with these people. May the fur fly.
Gwen
The continuing saga
Well, here is a more humorous chapter to this tale. So, I had called a Dentist office to see if I could get some work done because my mouth looks like I ate a grenade. They were very happy to make the appointment, but this morning they called and said that I did not in fact have dental coverage. Inside, I most paranoiedly (is that a word?) started thinking it was about this gender business.
So as I ruminated about it, it suddenly occurred me that no I do not have medicare dental, but do have it through another company. I called the dentist back and am seeing them this afternoon. Quite sorry, I am actually that goofy and scatter brained. Had I a mate, he would probably not allow me out of the house without suitable Niqab and leash. :)
He might spank me for this mistake too. :) Cathy, a close friend can attest to my pixie nature.
Gwen
Spankings????
Oh, you naughty girl.
;-P
A little light BDSM always brings out my inner submissive.
Be kind to those who are unkind, tolerant toward those who treat you with intolerance, loving to those who withhold their love, and always smile through the pains of life.