Chapter 1 - Maundering

Maunder. A good, old-fashioned word. You don't hear it much these days unless it's in the cliché about old people maundering on about the past. Since I just hit my 70th birthday, I guess I'm licensed to maunder, so here goes.

 

Chapter 14 - The Pinch

Paula the elder
"Are you our of your ever-lovin' mind?" cried Detective Matt Pierson.

"Hold on," I said.

Pulling out my smartphone I made a show of checking it.

"According to this, that's the twenty-seventh time someone has asked me that question today. Since I lost my mind some time ago I guess I must be out of it."

 

Chapter 12 - The Shopping Chapter

Wednesday morning, 10AM at the mall
"Titia! What are you doing here? You're supposed to be asleep!"

"Ah, but my mystical powers over mythical beasts have changed all that."

"Come again?"

"Right here in the store in front of everybody?"

Trapped as a shapely French maid and hiding out from the mob, a smart-mouthed rogue must prevent his family from unwittingly being drawn into a criminal scheme even as he is confronted by his two most remorseless adversaries: Mom and Dad. It's a twisty whodunit with a thrilling hovercraft chase that--wait. No, it's not. It's a spirited comic romp with snappy banter, money laundering, and unspeakable acts with a ripe pineapple!

 

Chapter 9 - The Dating Game

Titia
My phone started ringing, an unusual occurrence in my usually solitary life.

"Hey girlfriend!"

"Hey yourself, Paula.

"You survive the night back at work with Mom?"

"You wouldn't believe what happened!"

"With Mom around, I'd believe anything. More burglars? More cops? Any doctors involved this time?"

"It was a quiet night after we got promoted."

 

Chapter 7 - Dancing the Night Away

[Sorry for posting the wrong text - here's the right chapter]

Paula the Elder
"I can't do this! whined my houseguest.

"Then sit home and tend to your knitting. Your arm looks a lot better tonight."

"I'm not going to be playing basketball any time soon, but I did feed myself at lunch."

"That's progress. Just don't try to tango tonight."

"I'm not sure I want to try to dance at all."

 

Chapter 5 - The Houseguest

Paula the elder
"Nice place you got here," I commented.

"It will do. You know how much we get paid for sitting around and watching TV all night."

"And knitting. Don't forget the knitting."

"At least I'll have a warm scarf by winter if I get tossed out of this place."

Hilarity ensues when a smart aleck on the run finds himself hiding behind a petticoat and a feather duster in order to elude the gangster who wants him dead. (Or maybe just wants him, period!) A fun and lighthearted comedy of errors filled with elaborate deceptions, mistaken identities, and a guy stuffing his boobs into a French maid's costume! What's not to like?

A Marvel X-Men Fanfiction starring Wolverine and Jean Grey

"Ouch!"

"Did widdums hurt his widdle diddums?"

"Keep that crap up and widdums will puke all over your diddums."

"I show wifely concern for my big, strong husband and what do I get? Threats!"

"It's not a threat, it's a promise. I'm in pain, woman."

Today's top story.

Santa has little choice but to cancel Christmas this year. Apparently jolly old nick has not fully recovered from last years incident where a redneck blasted him with a facefull of buckshot for apparent breaking and entering.

Rudolf and Cloe are burnt out from having multiple fawns. All does, though they all have healthy glows and are popular with the other fawns.

 
Chapter 25 - A New Direction

"I can't believe that the week is almost over," sighed Scott.

"I know what you mean. It may not have been the vacation we expected, but this is a lovely place and I do want to come back again."

"It's odd to think that this may be the last time our family vacations together, even if our eldest child is not staying with us. I'm not sure I'm ready to have an independent child go off into the world to find their own way."

"Feeling like an empty-nester already, dear?"

"I suppose I am. Just because we aren't the first doesn't make it any easier."

"Peter will still be living with us, or perhaps Polly will, while she's in school. Oh my! I just called our son 'she,' didn't I?"

 
Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash

Chapter 23 - Sisters

"Good book, Vicky?"

"Oh, hi sister. Gee, that still sounds weird. It's OK so far, but I just started it."

"Kind of like me, then?"

"What?"

"Being Polly is OK so far, but I've just started."

"So I suppose Sheila can read you like a book, then?"

"She prefers reading in braille."

 
Photo by Wendy Winarno on Unsplash

Chapter 21 - The Inevitable Happens

It happened so slowly that nobody really noticed it happening, but by mid-summer Polly and Sheila had moved from being 'Summer Help' to join Little Rose as 'Family.' The hotel had been in the Russo family for generations, so it was sad that Russ and Rose had no children to continue the family business.

 
Chapter 19 - A Day Off for Sisters

"What the f…" Polly cut herself off before she could finish, this trying to be a girl thing was starting to be automatic.

"Oh crap!" groaned Sheila. "I forgot to turn the alarm off."

"Then kill the noisy thing before I do."

Groping toward her phone she stabbed at it until it stopped making that awful racket.

 
Chapter 15 - Graduation

"Peter! Hurry up or we'll be late!" called Pete's mother."

"Coming!"

"Nice dress, Pete"

"You, my annoying little sister, are wearing a dress. I, as befits my status as a graduate of an institute of higher learning, am wearing an academic gown, the traditional garment of those who have attained academic excellence.

"Well la-te-dah! I think Sheila's red gown looked much better yesterday."

 
Chapter 13 - Acquiring a Wardrobe

Fashion accessories may be one of the hardest subjects for a novice crossdresser to grasp. After all, most males have little choice in such matters, Even those of a more unrestricted outlook on life basically have three choices: ties, rings and, if so inclined, earrings. As a student, Pete only wore a tie under protest on Sunday mornings when his Grandmother was going to be present at church. His class ring was the only adornment on his fingers, and it was big and clunky as such things are wont to be. Earrings were still out of the picture, although he was pretty sure that one of the first things Polly would do on the way to her new job was to have her ears pierced, and the heck with what happens in the fall when Polly had to go into storage.

 
Chapter 10 Confession

Over the next few months, Pete began to feel like a double agent. Something clicked between Pete and Sheila, and a medium-to-long distance romance began to blossom. Medium-to-long distance because they didn't live too far from each other, there is no such thing as a short drive in Portland traffic. They went to different schools so that shot holding hands in the halls and after school activities together, not to mention the old standby of doing homework together.

 
Photo by Daniele Levis Pelusi on Unsplash

Chapter 8 - Confusion

Confusion. A fine old word, comes from the Latin confundere, meaning mingle together. Now there's a concept that describes a young crossdresser - or maybe trans-something - if there ever was one.

Chapter 5 - The Inquisition

Saturday morning found our hero up early, excited and conflicted. Excited to be going on a date, excited because Sheila was a vivacious, sexy, intelligent girl who wanted to go on a date with him. Conflicted because Sheila was entirely too intelligent and perceptive and seemed to be able to see through into the parts of him he often tried to hide from himself.

And Sheila had actually kissed him.

Photo by Ally Sherman http://www.Facebook.com /FortLauderdaleSeasidePhotography
 
Chapter 4 - The Phone Call

As Pete walked through the door of his high school on Monday morning the was greeted by an enthusiastic "Damn Pete! You look like crap!"

"Feel like it, too," mumbled Pete.

Chapter 1 - The Rummage Sale

"OK you guys, listen up!"

Pete Zimmerman's attention focused on the Scoutmaster of Troop 36, Boy Scouts of America, which was meeting in the basement the Baptist Church. The meeting was just about over and Ron Brockman, colloquially known as "Brock" to all and sundry, was making his announcements in the vain hope that some of the boys would be listening and maybe even remember some of them.