Comedy

Girlastic Park

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Rodger watched another leg mold get dipped into the vat of wax.

Working at the wax museum was an interesting job but somehow Rodger
expected more out of life than living in loneliness and working at



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This story is 36 words long.

'poH

Photo by Jean van der Meulen from Pexels

 

'poH
by Erin Halfelven

 

I had a weird dream about working on a series of kid's books. They were illustrated and I wish I could draw like that. Some of it looked a lot like Brad Guigar's art on Evil, Inc.

One of the books was about a young owl discovering things. It was called, "Nobody Really Likes Liver."



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This story is 59 words long.

No Strings Attached

No Strings Attached
Jeremy's morning routine is interrupted when he makes a startling discovery. Can his physician help him figure out what's going on?


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This story is 21 words long.

Political Doubletalk, Part 6 of 6

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Part 6 of 6

 
Chapter 14
"Dammit Penny!" cried Myrna, slamming down the phone. "I feel like I should go out and stand on the street corner with a sign saying 'Anything helps - God Bless.' I'm sick of begging for money. How did we ever let the system get this corrupt?"



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This story is 50 words long.

Political Doubletalk, Part 5 of 6

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Part x of 6

 
Chapter 11
"Myra, that was an amazing performance!" Penny said in wonder. "Talk about take no prisoners! Who else could talk about the ancient Indus Valley civilizations and make it sing?"

"I did get a little carried away."



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This story is 40 words long.

Political Doubletalk, Part 4 of 6

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Part 4 of 6

 
Chapter 8
With the first public appearances behind them, it was time to hit the road. No one runs for office without a large number of volunteers willing to go out and do the legwork, answer the phones, make the endless calls, pay the bills, program the computers and generally support the candidate.



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This story is 54 words long.

Political Doubletalk, Part 3 of 6

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Part 3 of 6

 
Chapter 6
Two days later Helen and the slightly mystified Penny were sitting in a plastic surgeon's office in Reno Nevada. For Penny, traveling with someone who was almost the woman for whom she worked for many years was a surreal experience.



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This story is 43 words long.

Political Doubletalk, Part 2 of 6

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Part 2 of 6

 
Chapter 4
Mothers.

There is one, and only one, thing that can be said about mothers without deviating one iota from the absolute truth: We all have one.



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This story is 29 words long.

Political Doubletalk, Part 1 of 6

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Part x of 6

 
WARNING! If you are of a conservative bent, you'll hate this one. You. Have. Been. Warned.

Author's Note: I stole this plot from Robert Heinlein, who stole it from a long line of felonious authors reaching back to some guy pressing Cuneiform into clay on a riverbank in the Middle East, in hopes of preserving his deathless prose. It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected. - Mark Twain
 



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This story is 82 words long.

I Can't Hide From My Mind -- A TG Mixed Tape

A boy finds himself in a suburban landscape with no other people... except his other self. A woman breaks up with her boyfriend and storms out of a bar... but all is not what it seems.. A roommate's prank leads to new and unsettling discoveries. A door to another world leads to unexpected changes. An ancient entity awakens to find a world where gender and everything else have drastically changed. Dive into the strange and unexpected with stories by Hikaro, D.K. Fenger, Trismegistus Shandy, Shadow Dragon, and CasLon.



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This story is 89 words long.

The Bank Heist - Part 11 of 11

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Part 11 of 11

Chapter 16
"Patty, this is getting out of control!" I cried.

"Getting?" she asks.

"OK, It's gone over a cliff and dragged the wagon train with it. That good enough?"



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This story is 31 words long.

The Bank Heist - Part 10 of 11

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Part 10 of 11

Chapter 15
When we got home late, the other girls took one look at us and asked why we both looked like we'd gotten laid but hadn't been in the bedroom yet. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get used to girls asking questions like that, I was brought up to think girls didn't do stuff like that.



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This story is 59 words long.

Thanks Truck-kun For Making Me A Trader - Part 18/27

Sometimes, Lillyn can really put her foot in her mouth.
Especially when she is not in the right state of mind.
For example, when someone calls her in the middle of the night.
They should know better.



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This story is 37 words long.

The Bank Heist - Part 9 of 11

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Part 9 of 11

Chapter 14
It took us two days to read all the things I had been given. It looked like being a Court Reporter involved more that pushing buttons on a machine, you had to take stenography and legal vocabulary and quite a few other courses to qualify. For a seventeen year old high school dropout, it looked like a lot to do. I just had to tell myself I was a twenty-one year old A student - just like my transcript said.



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This story is 83 words long.

The Bank Heist - Part 8 of 11

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Part 8 of 11

Chapter 12
If my first - and last - date on Saturday was exciting, Sunday at the zoo was something else. Scary, exciting, thrilling, all mixed up. I now knew that Vito was no longer wanted as a murderer, although they would probably want me to do time for burglary and general mopary and dopary. I could still use that as an excuse to stay in my disguise as Eliza.



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This story is 71 words long.

The Bank Heist - Part 7 of 11

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Part 7 of 11

Chapter 10
Patty was right. It took three more days for Mike the Cop to ask me for a date. It was the first time I talked to a cop and he was the one being nervous. Go figure! We got off the bus and Mike the Cop just happened to be walking by the bus stop when we arrived.



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This story is 61 words long.

The Bank Heist - Part 5 of 11

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Part 5 of 11

Chapter 8
It took three more days for the storm to stop and the plows to clear the streets so cars could move once more. Other than sleepin' with Patty, I had a hard time learnin' to be Liza. The girls were determined that I would be the kind of girl that no one would think twice about bein' anythin' but what she looked like.



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This story is 66 words long.

The Bank Heist - Part 4 of 11

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Part 4 of 11

Chapter 6
Now we get to the interestin' part that I've been making you wait for. We writers need to put in some suspense so you good folks will keep on readin'. We gets back to the bedroom and it dawns on me I ain't got no clothes to wear. This little fact had dawned on Patty last night, and that wicked sense of humor I told ya's about cut in again as she hands me a pair of her panties.



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This story is 82 words long.

The Bank Heist - Part 3 of 11

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Part 3 of 11

Chapter 5
The girls went off to their bedrooms and I was left on the couch. I tried to figure out just what I was goin' to do, that talk of body bags had me scared. It all sounded cool and great fun when Uncle Jimmy got me inta the heist, but someone gettin' killed was a shit show I wasn't ready for. I fell asleep before I could do much more thinkin'. It had been a long, strange day.
 



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This story is 81 words long.

Hatching a Heroine - Chapter 12

Lonna lay on her stomach, small wings folded forward up and under her chest, her stubby red tail lashing side to side. She kept turning the events of the night over and over in her head.

Melissa had called her beautiful. Even despite her being a half dragon, a runaway princess, and an all around mess… Melissa had called her beautiful.

So Lonna had kissed her.

And then Melissa had said she was a girl, and it felt like everything clicked into place. It felt like everything was exactly the way it was supposed to be…



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This story is 96 words long.

The Bank Heist - Part 1 of 11

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Part 1 of 11

Chapter 1
I blame it all on my Uncle Jimmy. It's his fault I ended up this way. It certainly wasn't my fault, I mean c'mon, I was just a kid, what did I know?



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This story is 36 words long.

Thanks Truck-kun For Making Me A Trader - Part 17/27

Lillyn isn't doing so hot right now.
She is pretty sure she has ruined a friendship forever.
But there is always hope.
And on every low note a high one follows.
When Besona smiles on her, it sometimes comes in unexpected ways...



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This story is 42 words long.

The Magnificent Seven, Part 7 of 7

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Part 7 of 7

Chapter 14
How did four years go by so fast? Seems like just Yesterday Rose was starting high school and in a few minutes she would be walking across the stage to receive her diploma. Travis and Ruth smiled to think the entire family was there to watch, and not incidentally keep track of the active four-year-old and frenetic two-year-old grandchildren who were bored with the whole affair.



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This story is 69 words long.

The Magnificent Seven, Part 6 of 7

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Part 6 of 7

Chapter 12
Luke and Rose rode for some time across the grassland until a copse of trees came into sight. Rose changed course slightly to head for the trees and they soon arrived at the watering station.

"Now that shoots that old saw all to blazes, don't it?"



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This story is 49 words long.

The Magnificent Seven, Part 5 of 7

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Part 5 of 7

Chapter 11
"All right, you rapscallions, quiet down! We are here to make a joyful noise and not a cantankerous cacophony."



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This story is 22 words long.

The Magnificent Seven, Part 4 of 7

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Part 4 of 7

Chapter 9
"Well, you seem to have a rosy glow about you this morning"

"You bet, Doc! My sisters clubbed together again and got me a new pair of breast forms for my fifteenth birthday. They tell me I have to keep up with the way my body is growing, but if they keep at it I may end up with the biggest boobs in Texas by the time I'm in college."



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This story is 79 words long.

The Magnificent Seven, Part 3 of 7

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Part 3 of 7

Chapter 7
Rite of Passage, is a term used by anthropologists to mark a significant change in a person's place in society. Almost all societies mark marriage - the creation of a new family unit - with a formal ceremony. Becoming a member of a group, such as the military calls for a ceremony, and of course the passage from child to adult is the most obvious passage in our contemporary society.



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This story is 73 words long.

The Magnificent Seven, Part 2 of 7

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Part 2 of 7

Chapter 4
As was mentioned before, when you live miles from nowhere you have to make your own entertainment on those long winter evenings or slow summer days when nothing else demands your attention.



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This story is 35 words long.

Thanks Truck-kun For Making Me A Trader - Part 16/27

Lillyn is about to do something stupid.
She even knows it.
But sometimes a girl gotta do what a girl gotta do.
Even if it is stupid.



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This story is 27 words long.

The Magnificent Seven, Part 1 of 7

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Part 1 of 7

 
Chapter 1
Texas. Y'all know that everything's bigger in Texas even if we hardly ever say y'all around here any more; too sophisticated, I guess. One thing for sure: Texas is big. It takes two long days to cross it from east to west without gathering a speeding ticket or two. Hell, the King ranch at 825,000 acres is bigger than the State of Rhode Island at 775,900 acres.



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This story is 68 words long.

The Coy Pond

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Embarrassing things happen in this life. Sometimes other people embarrass you, sometimes you embarrass yourself. Most of those times you sigh and feel glad that no one is watching - or worse yet - filming.



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This story is 35 words long.

My Obsession, Part 27 of 29

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Photo by Wilson Vitorino from Pexels
 

Part 27 of 29

Thursday, December 26, 2013
I have a decision to make, and I've been putting it off. Mary Ann and I have been tossing around our options and her family has been able to offer some pretty good advice, but the decision is mine in the end. No, that's not completely true. Mary Ann and I have to make the decision together as it affects the both of us.



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This story is 74 words long.

The Gift of Unanticipated Consequences

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The Spirit of Christmas helps George discover the hidden powers of his wife’s body wash.



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This story is 16 words long.

My Obsession, Part 26 of 29

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Photo by Wilson Vitorino from Pexels
 

Part 26 of 29

Monday, December 16
Oddly, I got the answer to finding Mary Ann's gift in the psychology exam this morning. There were questions about family relations and - of course! - dysfunction. Which made me realize I should call her brother Dale and ask him if he has any bright ideas. I had to slap myself and put my mind back on the exam after getting another bright idea.



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This story is 75 words long.

Hatching a Heroine - Chapters 9, 10 and 11

It's one thing to be pulled into another world to fight an evil queen, but what do you do when the spell that transports you there also gives you a woman's body? And what if it feels... right?

Edited by Talia Eliott Belser



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This story is 43 words long.

Hatching a Heroine - Chapters 7 and 8

It's one thing to be pulled into another world to fight an evil queen, but what do you do when the spell that transports you there also gives you a woman's body? And what if it feels... right? Edited by Talia Eliott Belser


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This story is 43 words long.

My Obsession, Part 25 of 29

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Photo by Wilson Vitorino from Pexels
 

Part 25 of 29

Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Turkey day. No, not the day we eat the turkey but the day we get the turkey. Seems like a lot of fuss to get a turkey when the supermarket had piles of them in the freezer, but Eve swears it's worth the effort for a fresh organic turkey.



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This story is 59 words long.

Hatching a Heroine - chapter 3

It's one thing to be pulled into another world to fight an evil queen, but what do you do when the spell that transports you there also gives you a woman's body? And what if it feels... right? Edited by Talia Eliott Belser


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This story is 43 words long.

My Obsession, Part 24 of 29

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Part 24 of 29

Saturday, October 26, 2013
Dress shopping with Eve and Mary Ann. I'm getting a real kick out of being a bridesmaid, something I never aspired to in my wildest dreams. Some of the girls I know on campus are addicted to something called Say Yes To The Dress and can go on for hours about finding the perfect wedding gown. Hey - I love wearing dresses and enjoy shopping on my rather limited budget, but really! I just can't get into gushing about this neckline or that train or who knows what else.



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This story is 99 words long.

Hatching a Heroine - chapter 2

It's one thing to be pulled into another world to fight an evil queen, but what do you do when the spell that transports you there also gives you a woman's body? And what if it feels... right? Edited by Talia Eliott Belser


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This story is 43 words long.

Hatching a Heroine - Chapter 1

It's one thing to be pulled into another world to fight an evil queen, but what do you do when the spell that transports you there also gives you a woman's body? And what if it feels... right? Edited by Talia Eliott Belser


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This story is 43 words long.

My Obsession, Part 23 of 29

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Part 23 of 29

Monday, October 14, 2013
Last day at camp, sort of bittersweet. We got up much later than yesterday and not a few of the girls were moaning about the amount of wine that they drank the night before. The phrase 'wine is a mocker' - in my father's voice, naturally - ran through my head but I wisely kept it between my ears.



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This story is 69 words long.

My Obsession, Part 21 of 29

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Part 21 of 29

Monday, September 9, 2013
Much food for thought in Psychology today. Only the second class and my head is spinning. The prof dug right in with personality types. The old Greeks decided there were four: choleric, melancholic, sanguine, and phlegmatic. Meyers-Briggs thinks there are sixteen. Other people throw other numbers into the pot. Kind of like a lottery but nobody is a clear winner.



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This story is 64 words long.

My Obsession, Part 20 of 29

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Part 20 of 29

Angel's Fairy Tale



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This story is 5 words long.

My Obsession, Part 19 of 29

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Part 19 of 29

Friday, September 6, 2013
A light day, only one mid-morning class. That's the ideal Friday for a college student, no afternoon classes to cut to get an early start on the weekend.



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This story is 32 words long.

Queer -1- Montana

Queer

 

Queer
1. Montana
by Morgan Preece

I'd been called queer practically ever since I started school, but I didn't really find out what it meant until seventh grade. This was back when gay still meant happy to most people, and queer was an insult.



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This story is 43 words long.

My Obsession, Part 18 of 29

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Part 18 of 29

Wednesday, September 4, 2013 (continued)
All of my musing on the past is how I started my day. Because of my late enrollment, the only English Literature class with any openings occurred at eight o'clock on Monday and Wednesday mornings. Since Monday was Labor Day, school started on Wednesday. Thus I began my day wandering around campus lost and confused. Over the summer I had gotten used to the library's more civilized hours, opening at ten. I had to get up before the sun in order to shower, dress and ride the bus.



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This story is 93 words long.

My Obsession, Part 17 of 29

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Part 17 of 29

Monday, September 2, 2013
Labor day. Time for the big parade.

We were up early to get ready for the parade. The living room was full of boxes and hangers containing the costumes when my fellow workers arrived promptly at 8:00 AM to get dressed. Jenny and Beth from the library were part of the group, as well as Audrey.



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This story is 59 words long.

My Obsession, Part 16 of 29

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Part 16 of 29

Sunday, August 25, 2013
Mom called again today. This time her voice was not as strained, for that matter neither was mine. We just chatted, nothing special. She got a great laugh out of Grandpa proposing to Eve and even took my wearing Sylvia's engagement ring better than I expected.



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This story is 50 words long.

My Obsession, Part 15 of 29

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Part 15 of 29

Thursday, August 15, 2013
Had another session with Audrey today. No tears and heavy stuff this time, but more "What do I do from here?" Somehow when I talk to Audrey I have to get things straight in my mind so I can tell her about them. She knows the right question to ask when I run dry and she's helping me.



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This story is 62 words long.

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