Infant

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 62 Hello Dad

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 62 Hello Dad

Dave laughed and said, “Simmering on the Hobb‽ That’s over the border in Northumberland isn’t it? Small spot no more that six hundred folk live there.”

Tommy Dowerson said, “Nah. You got that one mixed up, Dave. That’s Gravy on the Hobb you’re going on about over in Northumberland. The Hobb river over there is nay mere than a beck. Simmering on the Hobb is on the outskirts of Ross on Wye away down country, Herefordshire way. Ross has about eleven thousand folk and t’other spot has maybe four. Just on the other side of Ross from Simmering is Custard on the Hobb where the custard boreholes are which strictly puts it into Wales. The Hobb is a big tributary, mostly in Wales, of the Wye which eventually runs into the Severn Estuary. There’re some odd town names down that way like Builth Wells and Symonds Yat. I only know because I did a postmasters’ course in Hereford a few years back.” There was just enough truth in Dave’s and Tommy’s ridiculous remarks to cause some confusion in the newer outsiders, but considerable hilarity amongst the locals and regular attenders from outside. Inventing silly, often profanely coarse, place names and equally ridiculous personal names vaguely connected to the satirical comedies of Monty Python, The Goons and Much Binding on the Marsh was an ongoing game they played often at each others’ expense. Their recently invented favourites were the villages of Shaver on the Motte, Hard on the Rod and Whacking on the Edge, the last of which came about as a result of a discussion concerning killing flies with a fly swatter. For some reason he wouldn’t explain Fluff in the Hinge was considered to be particularly amusing by Alf.

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 58 The Heller of All Hellers

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 58 The Heller of All Hellers

Daphne said, “Most women I know, including me, have an awful lot of clothes. Not Stephen, but that skirt suit is genuine Harris tweed and cost a small fortune. All his clothes are the same, he doesn’t have wardrobes and wardrobes of them but what he does have is all the ultimate in quality. He should have been a woman because his dress sense is far better than mine. However, he’s a hundred percent man. He just likes dressing up in what other people call women’s clothes, but he doesn’t see it that way. He says, ‘I’m a man. They’re my clothes, so by definition they’re a man’s clothes.’ I suppose he does have a point.”

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 57 A Baby Spoon and Pusher

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 57 A Baby Spoon and Pusher

Here come comes the nurse with a red hot poultice, Slaps it on and takes no notice, ‘Oh,’ said the patient, ‘that’s too hot,’ ‘No,’ said the nurse, ‘I’m sure it’s not.’

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 54 Tekin Receipt of a New Un

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 54 Tekin Receipt of a New Un

If we can find any folk who fit here I’ll be as glad to accept them and take the money off the government thieves in Whitehall and the local authority bandits in Barrow, Kendal and Penrith too as the next person, but if they don’t fit here the government can keep the bloody money and the refugees and the victims of violence even though they be women and their kids. Being abused does not give any the right to abuse any of our folk.

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 54 Tekin Receipt of a New Un

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 54 Tekin Receipt of a New Un

IIf we can find any folk who fit here I’ll be as glad to accept them and take the money off the government thieves in Whitehall and the local authority bandits in Barrow, Kendal and Penrith too as the next person, but if they don’t fit here the government can keep the bloody money and the refugees and the victims of violence even though they be women and their kids. Being abused does not give any the right to abuse any of our folk.

A Successful Family

A Successful Family

The possession of a small number of cows, pigs, sheep and goats in addition to ducks, hens and geese was to the older family members the currency by which they measured true wealth. That the hundreds of doves that lived in the centuries old dovecote and the fish in the lake were a readily available food source was a wonder to them. When they added a couple of hives of bees and a dozen rabbits to keep in a barn they couldn’t imagine a better life.

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 52 Political Analysis

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 52 Political Analysis

Continued on from GOM 51 on a Saturday evening in the Green Dragon Inn taproom

“Christ, Lads, Dave missed his calling as a green grocer he should have been a diplomat. He’d have all the middle east conflicts sorted in minutes. Admittedly, he’d turn the entire spot into one big, f*** off, glassed down, radioactive plain, but the situation would be sorted permanently which would definitely be a result. We need more of that kind of thinking.”

“I recently heard, Alice, that Hell is staffed by vegetarians and the security guards are all vegans, so I’m going to heaven where slaughtermen and butchers like me are well thought of because the angels who run the spot are known to enjoy a deliciously bloody, blue steak, and there are no security guards because none of the residents wish to leave.”

Galafriëlla

Galafriëlla

Arbret law was quirky and it gave all the right to whatever medical procedures they wanted, providing of course that they could pay for them. What the law did not do was allow any privacy, so medical staff could legally take money for informing any one they chose concerning the GRS treatment of the trans or the psychological problems dealt with by psychiatrists. It was a system that ensured conformity due to fear and any who was in any way different was hounded and victimised mercilessly.

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 48 Acquisitions Introductions and Interventions

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 48 Acquisitions Introductions and Interventions

After interviewing three potential pharmacists Murray was beginning to lose hope. All three had been male and chauvinists, pigs to boot probably too, he’d said cynically to himself. He’d just one more to go, Lennox MacUspaig, a name he’d never heard of. He was hoping that at the very least he didn’t have to deal with yet another MCP, but he doubted anything would come it. Twenty-nine years old, single and with a CV which was to say the least sparce. Murray was stunned when an attractive young woman came in to shake his hand. She saw the look on his face and asked, “You expected a man?”

The Arctic Circle

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December 2021 Christmas Holidays Story Contest Entry
 

The following story takes place in the Arctic Fox universe, but at this moment isn’t part of canon. It may be later, but I haven’t decided on that. For now, consider it a ‘what if’ story.

Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays.

Thank you to Malady for his help editing, and as usual, bouncing my ideas off of.

Your help is much appreciated!

--Rosemary

The First Decade of a Life Forever Changing

I was born on March 17, 1979, in upstate New York, to Irish Roman Catholic parents. My dad is completely Irish on his mother's side plus Irish and Pakistani on his father's side. My mom's heritage is Irish along with many other nationalities from ranging from the Americas to Asia. She has often said that she is "Heinz 57", and she's not far off.

The First Decade of a Life Forever Changing


by
JenniBee

Idol - 1970 - Age 1

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Idol

This is the story of Dakota Sullivan. We all know him... a child star that had so much talent and his struggles to be accepted as an adult star. His life as an adult star in movies and music has made him a legend.
We have heard rumours and allegations about him, but his personal life was always hidden from us.
"Idol" is the true story of Dakota, where nothing is hidden. This will shock you and you will have a new view of who this Idol really is!

Idol

idol2.jpg

Idol

This is the story of Dakota Sullivan. We all know him... a child star that had so much talent and his struggles to be accepted as an adult star. His life as an adult star in movies and music has made him a legend.
We have heard rumours and allegations about him, but his personal life was always hidden from us.
"Idol" is the true story of Dakota, where nothing is hidden. This will shock you and you will have a new view of who this Idol really is!

Summer's Current 2: Witch Corps- Chapters 1-2

We rejoin Chance Summers and her Coven as they return to base after the successful completion of their first mission. What next is in store for Witch Corps?

A Life Forever Changing: Part 1

I was born on March 17, 1979, in upstate New York, to Irish Roman Catholic parents. My dad is Irish and my mom's heritage is Irish along with many other nationalities ranging from the Americas to Asia. She has often said that she is "Heinz 57", and she's not far off.

Mommy, mommy, mommy

Chapter 1

"MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY!" I heard my daughter scream. I dropped everything
and ran outside, thinking the worst. Did she fall, did she hurt herself,
did something or somebody scare her? It took me a minute to figure out
where her pleas were coming from and my panic level tripled, thinking
"Please, please, let her be safe!" Imagine my relief when I saw my
daughter hiding next to her playhouse; petrified by a tiny spider.

Castle The Series - 0125 Banquets, Progress and Reflections

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THE AUTUMN SUPPER

The half stride long mammoth ribs were servt with sweet, sticky, ellberry sauce.

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THE NEXT GENERATION OF MACHINERS

Dittander, Terry’s youngest daughter, who notwithstanding her age, ten, is a mechanical genius.

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REFLECTIONS ON THE FUTURE

Aaron had no concept of genetics, but was aware one did not breed from weak stock, one ate them.

Chapters 125 and 126 are different in that they contain a lot of material in note form. I plan to write that material in its full form at some time in the future, but it is not essential to the work. The reason I have done it this way is that I wish to post the last three chapters, 127, 128 and 129 which provide the explanations of why it all occurs. Ch 128 is essentially the same as Ch 2, but it was my original intention that the material should be in the Ch 128 position. I only included it as Ch 2 so as to provide some explanation at the beginning without giving too much away.
Regards,
Eolwaen

Castle The Series - 0124 Waggoning, More Babes, Sunwarmth

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HOPE FOR A LITTLE GIRL

“You do realise, Love, I’m not going to burden a little boy with the name Fuchsia don’t you?”

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SIX HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SIX WEIGHTS

Veronica was looking forward to seeing the faces of Shag and Sabrina when she presented them with the monster of a forge tool.

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APPRENTICE WAGGONERS

“The tokens are nothing more than a way of keeping the score on how successfully we’re playing the game.”

Castle The Series - 0123 Aurochs’ Watch, Orca

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AUROCHS WATCH

The entire referent thing is a family in joke

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ORCA

“So, it’s just a big, short-leggèd aurochs then?” Morris asked.

Journal of an Instant Mother - Part 11 of 11

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Part 11 of 11

Friday, June 3, 2016

Pillow talk.

Some evening conversations are more interesting than others. Take tonight, for instance.

"Now really, Alonzo, your parents weren't anywhere near as bad as you made me think."

"You didn't have to live with them once Dad saw the light."

"Now really, I didn't smell even a hint of brimstone. Chantal doesn't seem to think they're so bad, either."

"Grandchildren get spoiled, children don't have that luxury."

Journal of an Instant Mother - Part 10 of 11

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Part 10 of 11

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

I think I may have shocked Emma with all the changes in my life. She even went to far as to remark about the mature way I've handled the stress. Most of it has been good stress, but stress nevertheless. Not once have I had even a fleeting thought that I have made a mistake in coming out and living life as who I really am.

Journal of an Instant Mother - Part 09 of 11

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Part 9 of 11

Saturday, April 16, 2016

The alarm in Alonzo's spare room is just as annoying as the one in my bedroom The cursed thing went off at 4:45 AM, which, if you can do some basic math, is two minutes short of an hour after Dawn woke up. Why does the sun rise so stinking early? Can't it wait for a more civilized time to accommodate photographers who are also nursing mothers?

Journal of an Instant Mother - Part 07 of 11

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Part 7 of 11

Friday, February 19, 2016

I have to write this down, but I am completely bewildered as to how I can make it all make sense. My life has settled down to be about as predictable as a transgendered, self-employed businesswoman and single mother can get - which sentence is downright silly once I put it down. I mean… really!

Journal of an Instant Mother - Part 06 of 11

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Part 6 of 11

Monday, November 30, 2015

If you're in retail, Black Friday marks the start of the Christmas Rush. For a photographer, the following Monday seems to be the start of the Christmas Rush. People are too busy standing in front of some store at five in the morning waiting for a bargain to sit down for their Christmas Card Photo.

Castle The Series - 0119 Quantitative Easing, Social Misfits, Sunwarmth

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QUANTITATIVE EASING & SOCIAL MISFITS

Master miller Briar opined that the mill would be ready for milling this year’s harvest.
Social misfits were a problem at the Keep, but potentially life threatening at a mine, forestry camp or holding.

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TRESS & APPLEBLOSSOM

Any hap they are all siskonen, so sharing milk is not just natural it’s tight and proper too.

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THE VALLEY OF THE SPOUTERS

“There is no danger to Flint. It’s steam not smoke. It’s from the valley of spouters I telt you of.”

Journal of an Instant Mother - Part 05 of 11

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Part 5 of 11

Thursday, November 12, 2015

"Hey Hope!" Darcy called. "Our afternoon session just canceled - the kids are sick."

"Crap!"

"Better they stay home than get Dawn sick."

"I can't argue with that. So what do we do to amuse ourselves? Got any ideas?"

"We can watch Dawn flop around on the floor?"

"Been there, done that. Too bad she's too young to take her to the playground and let her run around."

Journal of an Instant Mother - Part 04 of 11

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Part 4 of 11

Friday, October 23, 2015

I was really noticing my bra feeling a bit tight. I wanted to believe it's because my breasts are getting bigger, but after only two weeks on the new hormone regimen I have to wonder if it isn't wishful thinking. Still, when I'm in my Robot Mother Breast Pumping Bra it seemed to be a bit tighter too. Nothing going into the bottles, but still…

Journal of an Instant Mother - Part 03 of 11

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Part 3 of 11

Tuesday, September 29, 2015 - 1:00 PM

"Dawn Terrell?" called the lady in the green scrubs. I got up and hefted the child carrier, heading for the door into the inner sanctum.

"Lets see how much this little lady weighs, shall we?"

"She seems to get heaver as the day goes on."

"So I'm told. Hmmm - a bit light but still within the normal range. And twenty inches, also low normal. Nothing to worry about there, Ms Waldrop.

Journal of an Instant Mother - Part 02 of 11


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Part 2 of 11

Thursday, September 24, 2015 - 4:00 AM
How is it that the very same behavior that is so fetchingly cute at 4 PM is downright annoying at 4 AM. Changing a baby at 4 AM is a monumental challenge when you are sleep deprived because you were up to all hours on the net trying to find out how to be a good mother.

Castle The Series - 0118 Babes, Breastfeeding, Banquets

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WE ARE TRYING FOR A BABE

Heidi was quiet for a few seconds before saying formally, “For some one who lays claim to not being very clever, you manage to say some remarkably clever and insightful things, and I am grateful you share them with me, Sister Iola.

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TWO BREASTFEEDING EXPERIENCES

When Judith was surrounded by her children and enjoying being a mum Charlotte suckled much more slowly, as if, Judith thought, she were dining rather than just eating.

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ASTRINGENT RED AND FATTY GRIS

The concept of serving Joseph’s Liquid Gold ale in wine glasses was novel to Musk if not to Iola.

Castle The Series - 0117 Lyre, George, The Kitchens, The Mill

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I HAVE MAEKT A CRIB MY LOVE

“I do hope you have given some thought to a crib appropriate for our daughters too.”

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THE SETTING OF THE WHEEL

“Its up to Oak and the rest of you now.”

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BUTCHERING AN ALLURFART

What are ship chop fish and ships?” Dabchick asked.

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FIND ME A SHEPHERDESS

‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way.’

Castle The Series - 0116 Fiona, The Hill, The Mill, Lilly

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LARGE PORTIONS OF EVERYTHING

“And I am going to be really irritatet if I don’t look pregnant next time because that’s most of the fun,” Fiona telt her husband.

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THOSE WHO SHALL NEVER DIE

He gazed berount him seeing the panoramic views available from the Hill. The views that all of the dead would have been familiar with.

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THE DOGS HAVE TO BE FEDD

She knew mills had been built in England to mill bones imported from German graveyards.

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LILLY AND GAGE

By the day before Quarterday all the really important details had been settled: hair, accessories, shoes, everything.

Castle The Series - 0112 Council, Iola, Llyllabette

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DRINKING BRANDY AND GOSSIPING

“What more do we know concerning the Turners?”

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TURBOT (15) SLEEPS WITH VOË (7)

Llyllabette was shocked that Turbot had shared a bed with his heartfriend Voë for nearly two years.

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IOLA OUTFACES SIWARD

Gibb couldn’t keep his face straight when he telt Milligan how Siward had enabled Iola to finesse most of his staff away from him.

Castle The Series - 0107 Madder, Beth, George, Iola

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MADDER’S PREGNANCY

“I believe I can hear the heartbeats of twins.”

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BETH, HERBS AND BRASSIÈRES

“Bloody hell, Beth, you’re stacked! What the hell have you done?”

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GEORGE’ S STANDARDS

“You promisst to take me to see Matilda for some crochett babe clothes. I’ll wait outside.”

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IOLA - MY INTENDET

Milligan without hesitation had offered the now vacant, significant post to Iola rather than to one of the older, more experienced, junior or middle ranking cooks.

Castle The Series - 0106 Otday & Turner, Madder & Robert, Council

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TURNER & OTDAY APPLÆRSHIP

Their meeting with Janet, Mistress brassière, of the seamstresses was a revelation to both of them.

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THE NEW NAVIGATION INSTRUMENTS

Robert knew by the time they had returned to the Keep Madder would either be an overjoyed mother to be, or a deeply distressed woman who would probably need more help and support than he could provide.
Robert would be a very old man when he learnt how close greed and waste had taken the Earth to the very brink of extinction and how fragile its tenuous redemption by the survivors was to prove.

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DEEP ISSUES FOR THE COUNCIL

Yew looked berount the room to see faces on which were writ the same horror he felt as the reality of Campion’s exposition became apparent. “Do you have any suggestions as to how we deal with the situation, Campion?” Yew asked.

Castle The Series - 0100 Bekka, Turner, Ruby, Lilly

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BEKKA (16) AND BURDOCK (28) AND A SMART PHONE

Burdock had been astonished by what Bekka had telt Cranberry, and said, “Was that true, Bekka, you wisht me badly enough to be jealous‽”

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TURNER AND OTDAY

“ I haven’t had more than thirty-two days between lunetimes since I was fourteen and thisday is day thirty-three. I’m certain I’m pregnant.”

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RUBY GOES ABILBERRYING

The children had finished the day exhausted, fruit stained, full of berries and happy.

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ACCEPTANCE THE ARDOL MINERS RETURN

“I am an effeminate homosexual,” he began,

Castle The Series - 0099 Kæna, Morgelle, Vikki, Carley

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TWO SCANDALOUS STORIES

Ivy had kissed her and remarked, “When I first seeën the size of your bosom I knoewn you’d be good for trade, but I’m glad to see even under stress you keep the interests of the family first, Love.”

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SMOKED WEÄLTH

“Smokt eel? No, I’ve never hearet of that being doen. What’s jelly eel?”

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VIKKI (16) AND BUCKWHEAT (33)

Buckwheat’s kin were euphoric at the acquisition of a heavily pregnant and willing mother of more of their clansfolk.

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CARLEY (19) AND DUNLIN (19)

“I shouldn’t like you to believe it is only because you are pregnant I wish to marry you.”

Castle The Series - 0097 Jade, Morgelle, Otis, Jodie, Faith

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JADE’S (17) BABE LAROV

Phthalen said, “See, I telt you, Love, none can take him away. It’s not allowt.”

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MORGELLE (14) AND TUYERE

Morgelle knew she wasn’t only ready, but eager to start her marriage.

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THE DOLPHIN RETURNS WITHOUT OTIS

It was a fair fight, and Otis dien by putting himself overboard.

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JODIE’S (16) BABE PEACH

Ganger rather liekt the name Peach.

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FAITH’S BUMP

“I’ve been examint by three different midwifes thisday, and they all say they can hear two hearts beating, as well as mine. I’m having twins.”

THERE IS NOW A LEXICON OF FOLK WORDS. IT IS APPENDIX 3 AFTER THE CHAPTERS.

Castle The Series - 0095 Turner, Otday, Zoë, Stonechat, Council

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PULLING THE STITCHES TURNER & OTDAY

Turner passed him a wooden spoon and said, “Bite on the handle. It will prevent you biting your mouth, tongue or lips. Ready?”

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SHE NEEDS TO BE NURSED

Torrent much to his mother’s surprise did exactly what his child wife telt him all the way through her birthing.

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BECOMING FOLK

“You are contributing which makes you Folk.”

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COUNCIL MEETING

“I’ve seen them kissing when they bethinkt themselfs there were none to see.

THERE IS NOW A LEXICON OF FOLK WORDS. IT IS APPENDIX 3 AFTER THE CHAPTERS.

Castle The Series - 0089 Llyllabette, Yoomarrianna, Beth, Morris

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LLYLLABETTE AND YOOMARRIANNA

Silverherb stopped the waggon and taking a stick with her hit the ground. The couple had wondered what she was doing for they had seen nothing, but their eve meal of barbecued snake was a considerable improvement on the previous eve’s meal.

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NOW YOU ARE BECOMING YOURSELF BETH

Uncharacteristically, Amethyst hesitated before saying, “Take Beth to the healers, Beatrix. There are preparations the herbals produce which can reduce masculine development to naught and others to enhance her femininity, but they need to be taken before puberty has goen too far, they can not readily undo much development that has already taken place.”

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JOAN (26) AND BRÆTH (28)

Bræth replied indignantly, “Of course I do. If I love you that means I love yours too, it is part of the Way.”

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MASTER BUTCHER RSM MORRIS

Gibb had had numerous complaints concerning Morris’ authoritarian stance, but was glad Morris was dealing with his staff in a long overdue manner that beseemt the situation.

Castle The Series - 0087 Jodie, Cherville, Eleanor, Kathleen, Reef

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JODIE (16) AND GANGER (25)

Jodie had asked for the tables and chairs to be taken outside, and for someone to take a shovel to the floor since its tacky, muddy surface maekt walking on it unpleasant. The embarrassed crew had done so, and when the men were at work she had taken her skirt off, poured boiling water with scraped soap flakes dissolved in it onto the wooden floor and scrubbed it on her hands and knees prior to rinsing it off with more boiling water. Jodie was big with her pregnancy, and when the crew discovered she had scrubbed the floor on her hands and knees they were even more embarrassed.

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CHERVILLE (32) AND NIGHTSHADE (36)

After they had left Cherville asked, “Did you understand what Peregrine meant, Nightshade?”

“No, but then he’s an artist, and they’re all a little strange. His work is beautiful, but I don’t understand how he designs it.”

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STAVING IRONS

George had said if the weavers could weave the mantles as soon as possible he would start some apprentices experimenting with the concentrated salts solutions to produce what he called lime light mantles.

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KATHLEEN’S BABE REEF

Kathleen had her first contraction at ten in the forenoon, and her son Reef was birtht after one. She had an easy time of it, and as she said to Raymond and her children, “I have done this three times before you know.”

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 17 Charlie’s time in Glazebury

Susana said, ‘My husband doesn’t think all scousers are thieves. He knows they are. He’s worked with thousands of them and as far as I’m concerned he knows what he’s talking about. You don’t.”

With updated Footnotes.

Castle The Series - 0076 A Good Trip, Nursing, Aaron, Council

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MID-AFTERNOON THE RETURN OF THE HORSES

“My gratitude, Leech. Yes, a good trip. My regards to Gale.”

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LATE AFTERNOON HONESTY AND BELLA

“The herbs are working, she’s nursing, Peter.”

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LATE AFTERNOON TILL EVE THE HERMIT AND HIS FAMILY

Torrent expressed gratitude to Peace and winked at Anvil who shrugged and said, “Girls learn it at the breast I’m sure.”

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PRODUCTS OF OUR TIMES

“Aaron never was easy to understand,” said Yew, and then he added, “May hap none of us are.”
Many of the Council looked at Yew quizzically at that and Thomas asked, “You thinking of becoming a hermit, Yew?” At that the entire Council laught. Other than Will, a less appropriate candidate than Yew to take Aaron’s place was difficult to envisage.

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