Defender's Dream
You Were On My Mind

Note - This story is a continuation of the Defender Series, first appearing in Lascia Ch'io Pianga - The Defender. It takes place nearly two years after Lascia Ch'io Pianga - The Key

"Je t'aime."

The Next Morning:

Donna awoke with a start. The fog of the night seemed to still hover as she heard a voice call her name.

“Donna…honey? Are you okay?” The voice sounded familiar…No, it wasn’t Jean. She turned over and saw Dani, her fiance’ staring at her with warm concern.

“What…where…” she muttered as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes

“I stayed the night, sweetie,” Dani said softly as she brushed Donna’s hair out of her eyes.

“You were so…so sad.” Dani frowned, mostly out of concern for Donna, but also because this process was wearing on both of them.

“We slept together, you know?” She laughed softly. “Sleep? Sweet repose?” She pulled Donna closer and kissed her forehead.

“I hope you don’t mind, I borrowed this.” She used her hand to point to the pastel coral cami and tap pants she was wearing.

“Oh…okay,” Donna said sleepily before lowering her head back on the pillow.

“A little big on me, but I do so love the reason why.” Dani began to rub Donna’s breasts through her sports bra. A soft moan escaped Donna’s lips before her eyes widened.

“No…we can’t.” Dani frowned and stuck out her lower lip in a pout.

“Listen, I know why you don’t want to do anything.” She looked at her fiance with more than a little annoyance.

“But you and I have to settle one thing. Either we’re together and we’re going to stay together or not! If we are, then we need to go down to the court house today and get this done. Cause I can’t keep this up.”

“I’m sorry…after last night I’m sure that I love you but…” Donna looked down and tears fell on Dani’s hand.

“But nothing. I know what you’re thinking and you’re wrong. You think you don’t deserve happiness. We talked about this with Barbara last week, and you just talked again yesterday.” Dani frowned once again and got up off the bed.

“What more reason do you need? If my love isn’t enough to convince you that you’re worthy and deserving, I don’t know what will.” Tears began to fall from her eyes as she paced back and forth, slowly and deliberately.

“Jean loved you. She accepted you. She knew what to expect and yet she married you.” She chose her words carefully, almost as if she were composing an editorial for Donna alone.

“For God’s sake, Donna, you were going to be a parent. You were about to receive the greatest gift anyone could ever have.” Dani hesitated even as the words left her mouth, but she continued.

“And I know what you’re going to say…I didn’t deserve…” Dani grew angry, but it wasn’t with Donna per se. She was angry at all of the years that Don Carter lived in neglect in a home filled with things; that his parents never cared when he asked for something. Not like most parents whose “I don’t care” really means, “I trust you, go ahead and do it, I’m behind you.” Don’s parents literally didn’t care.

“Did God kill Jean and the baby just to prove a point to you? Don’t you see how selfish that would be? They died because her uterus ruptured and she bled out in seconds.” As difficult as it had been, Dani had actually grown to love the two ghosts of Donna’s past that she still treasured.

“You more than anyone I know deserve to be happy, but do any of us deserve that?” Dani walked up to the bed and lifted Donna’s chin softly and stared into her eyes.

“I don’t know if I deserve this, but I want it, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. You and I are commited and caring, and no sheet of paper will make it any more real than it is right now. We still need to do this to prove to yourself it’s real and it’s okay for you to be happy. You are my wife, and I am yours. I love you, and as far as I’m concerned, we’re on our honeymoon.”

Dani pushed Donna back on the bed. She climbed on and pulled off Donna’s bra, and not too gently. She began kissing her over and over, on the neck, the forehead, the ears, everywhere. Donna arched her back in welcome and Dani whispered in her ear,

“Permettez-moi ma chá¨re délicieux amant.” (Allow me, my sweet lover) She removed Donna’s panties and began kissing her stomach. Working her way up she began kissing Donna’s breasts softly and tenderly, almost in reverence. Her hand brushed against Donna’s mound. Donna shuddered at the touch; her first since the surgery.

“Ne vous inquiétez pas ne pas avoir peur je prendra soin de vous,” (don’t be afraid; I will take care of you”) she said softly.

She caressed and swept and scratched and kissed and touched Donna in ways that she would have never imagined. For the second time in twelve hours, Donna wept out of release. But this time was the first time she felt accepted and loved as a woman; an inescapable wonder of being blessed for the first time with the love of her partner. Dani had resisted the urge earlier, but she felt close and warm and safe herself and collapsed in her lover’s arms, weeping tenderly as her tears rolled down Donna’s side and onto the sheets.

"Okay, Spinetti, this is how it's gonna work. Carter here is lead on every single interview. She has the degree and the experience to deal with this, so you'll defer to her on every matter. If she's not available, you let it lie. We can always go back, but the chief wants us to tread lightly; very lightly."

"I don't suppose that I can order out for fucking Chinese or Italian if she's in the can?" Spinetti laughed, being the only one in the room to find his joke funny.

"I'm warning you...this is nothing to fuck with. These kids have been through hell, and it's bad enough we have to put them through this again. If I hear of one breach of protocol, your ass is going to be in a sling." The man behind the desk leaned forward in his chair.

Captain Virgil Hughes was pragmatic. Unlike some who approach retirement, he had steeled himself to the fact that things weren't always sunny out in the pasture, and he only reluctantly looked forward to the small town police gig he had set up for the end of his run in Philly. He resented having Spinetti foisted on him suddenly, but he also knew that was the way things worked.

"Just so we get things straight here, okay?" He leaned forward again and smiled at Donna before focusing his entire attention on Carlo Spinetti, late of Traffic Patrol and heir to the legacy of his father, newly appointed assistant Police Commisioner Pasquale (Patsy) Spinetti.

"I'm two months away from my retirement. Two months. They've already got contracters coming this afternoon to rehab this office into a copy room, since the precinct is going to share administration with the 40th." He pause for effect and smiled, but he didn't seem happy at all.

"Nobody asked me, but I'm going to give you my opinion. You got this assignment because of whose fucking loins you sprang from, but as far as I'm concerned, you're a fuck up from the word go. You couldn't even handle Traffic, and now you're a fucking detective? Listen, kid. I don't care who the fuck your father is, you screw up once...just once on this, I'm not going to take the fucking fall, and neither is Carter here. You'll be out there all on your own, and you might as well get your resume out there for Kinkos or Wal-Mart, because I guarantee that if I have anything to say about it, your days as a cop will be over." Spinetti shrugged and smiled as if Hughes were joking.

"Listen you asshole. I can't afford to send anyone else out there, so it's just the two of you. Carter has enough to worry about with this interview; she won't have time to hold your hand. This is no fucking joke!"

"Sure, Captain... whatever you say." Spinetti smiled and turned to Donna whose return gaze said, "Hey, don't look to me for help." She turned and looked back at Hughes.

"Where are the boys located?" Donna asked.

"I can't tell you. The location for both boys is being protected by Social Services because of the parents. Any hint of where these kids are could put them in jeopardy. Mind you, I'm not saying that, Social Services are very concerned, especially since these maggots never went to trial."

"Why now and why us?" Donna had a vague idea of why the Philadelphia Police were involved, but the timing seemed strange since the boys were settled into their foster homes. If they were going to prosecute the parents, why didn't the local authorities take the lead?

"Us because the state AG wants our resources. Now because the kids have started talking again, and it's not very pretty." Hughes shook his head and looked out the window.

"More? There's more." It had taken Donna three years to realize that there was no corner on expletives due to gender. "What the fuck more could these kids have gone through?"

"Not what...who...they've started talking about other adult besides their parents." Hughes shooks his head as his fists balled up in anger.

"I don't know who...but the state AG is investigating this from her end, and she's got a shitload of grief piled up against her office door. This is big, and the less talk about it the better. The foster parents ...both sets....reported the boys having nightmares and flashbacks, and no names have come up, but some other stuff....places, impressions of faces and descriptons. Your job is to just let them talk. If they say anything, fine, but don't press."

"What happened to them?" Spinetti asked. Hughes looked at him crosswise and frowned.

"Read the fucking file..." His voice trailed off. Even though Donna was a cop and had already read the file herself, Hughes was not going to discuss the horror of this family in mixed company. "And don't repeat this to anyone...not a single person outside this office can know this is going on, because it their birth family gets wind of what the kids are saying, well. This goes beyond big, and I'm telling you right now, lives are at stake." Hughes blew out a breath and sat back in his chair.

"I'm only forty-nine and I'm getting too fucking old for this."

"How will we know where to go?" Donna looked at the file and noticed no address for either boy. The sister wasn't involved at all as far as the new investigation went, but her section had been completely excised from the file.

"Just before you head out, Carter will take the envelope in the file marked 'directions' and break the seal. Once you open the envelope, that's it.. Absolutely no phone calls to any place other than my direct line. No family, no friends, nobody." He leaned forward again.

"If I find out that you have talked to anyone about this case, IAB will be hearing from me as soon as I get off the fucking phone. Do I make myself clear?" Once again he focused on Spinetti.

"Yes," Donna said, looking sufficiently chastised even if she didn't require the extra warning. Spinetti nodded as if Hughes had recited the menu from Ming Palace.

"That's all." Hughes got up and walked to a cabinet in the corner.

"Carter, gimme a minute, okay? Spinetti? What part of "that's all" didn't you understand?" He frowned as the young man left the office.

"Spinetti, close the fucking door, would you?" He complied, leaving Donna and Hughes alone.

"Here's something I know you didn't expect to see again." He reached into the top drawer and pulled out a Glock 17 and holster along with a box of ammo. Not as hefty as her old 45, but it would do, if it ever came to it.

"I don't expect you to use this. In fact, please tell me you won't, but with all the shit we just talked about, the higher ups want you back here. Here's something else." He reached into his desk and pulled out a wallet. He opened it up, revealing a detective's shield.

"Oh, wait a second, Captain. I'm not even qualified for this anymore." Donna shook her head and bit her lip.

"That's been waived. I know you can handle this. Your own Captain is sure that you're the right one for this, even if it got dumped on you." He smiled warmly.

"And keep an eye on that fucker Spinetti. I don't trust him, and you shouldn't either. Don't tell him anything ahead of time and for God's sake don't let him anywhere near those kids. He's along for the ride as far as I'm concerned, okay?"

"Sure thing, Captain." Donna smiled and turned to go. Hughes made a coughing sound, causing her to turn toward him.

"Good to have you aboard, Donna." He smiled once again. Hughes was the first cop besides her old partner to call her by her first name since her transition.

"That's all." He turned his attention to the pile of papers on his desk.

They sat in a very dusty non-decript Crown Vic. Someone had spilled soda on the passenger seat and it was still sticky. Donna felt no sympathy for Spinetti, and got to the matter at hand.

“Let’s just see where we’re going.” She smiled, trying to be cordial with Spinetti, but wishing to God he were assigned anywhere but in the cramped interior of a very stale smelling ‘unmarked” sedan. Perhaps a squirrel or a possum would take no heed, but the Navy Blue paint job and cheap dark blue velour, coupled with the plain hubcaps and the antenna spiraling backward from the front fender, made it dead giveaway.

“Bloomsburg…that’s not too bad…just a shoot up 476 and onto 80 west and we’ll be there in a few hours.” She put the directions on the dash and went to start the car before pulling the key back out of the ignition.

“Oh shit, I left the file on my desk.” She started to open the door when Spinetti spoke up.

“I’ll get it, gotta go to the little boys room,” he said with an annoying snicker. “You must have fond memories of that, huh?” Donna just looked out the window and tried to ignore him. As he walked over to the stairwell she looked upward and said a quick prayer. Stepping behind a squad car, Spinetti pulled out a cellphone and punched in a number on the pad.

“Hello, WPVI? Channel 6? Can I speak with Karen Nowitski?” He peeked around the corner and saw that Donna was not looking in his direction.

“Yeah, Babe…It’s Carlo. Yeah…it’s Bloomsburg. Meet me up there at the rest stop on 80 West just outside of town. Yeah…by the Sbarros is okay…I found the kids!”

Next: Sweet Dreams

You Were On My Mind
Words and Music by
Sylvia Tyson
as performed by
We Five
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cdcl2HTI9f8