Defender's Dream Demons by Andrea Lena DiMaggio   I dream I have angel's wings and I dream I fly all over town in the sky This world used to bring me down until now I fly

Previously

“He did nothing wrong…..She...I did nothing wrong...” She felt the shackles fall off her limbs as the voice came from within her… She wept until she could cry no more. A soft hand touched her face and another voice called to her.

Jill lay on her bed and watched the sleeping couple lay quietly, holding one another. She tried to be quiet but soon her sobs were heard by the resting couple. Dani looked over at the girl and back at Donna, who smiled and nodded. She patted the bed and pointed. Soon all three slept peacefully for the first time in quite a while and the last time for a while as well.

The next morning...

The blood-curdling scream that woke them up came at 7:42 AM; thankfully the rooms on either side of theirs were empty, it being a Wednesday morning off the beaten track. Donna literally fell out of bed as she sat up; her elbow banged against the nighttable and sent the cup of tea from the previous night flying against the airconditioner. Dani followed suit by springing out of bed. They both turned toward the bed as the girl lay shaking from the nightmare that plagued her nearly every night.

"Jill...Jill...wake up...it's a dream, honey...wake up." Donna was nearly desperate, remembering similar mornings and nights when Jeannie would relive her own horrific childhood memories. The girl shook her head, almost as if she were shaking something off of her. She grabbed her Teddy bear and squeezed it as if it would run out of the room if she let go. Dani knelt on the bed and remembered to tap the girl gently on the shoulder.

"Honey...it's okay...we're here." She grimaced as she saw the girl's face twisted in horror. Part of her...something brand new, only a day old, wanted to hug her tight like her own mother would when she was young. She tapped the girl's shoulder once again and repeated herself, only louder but still assuring.

"Jill...honey...it's okay...we're here."

I dream I sleep upon the clouds
So warm as I wrap the cotton blankets around
This world couldn't bring me down now
Cause I fly

Donna looked at her partner and smiled even as she wept for the girl in the bed.

"We're here," she thought. Not, "I'm here," but that all-inclusive, all-important "we're here!" The girl opened her eyes and looked up at the two women and burst into tears; not sad or scared, but the kind of crying you do when you find that you're safe in your mother's arms, only this was the first time ever in her fifteen years that she felt safe enough to lower that part of her guard.

"He...he...I saw his face.... I remember his face." Jill began to rock sideways in bed, gripping the Teddy bear even tighter, if that were even possible.

"Whose face, honey?" The last thing Dani wanted to be at that moment was intrusive, but she knew moments like this only came up so often.

"The man....the man!" She disolved back into the bed and the tears flowed once again as she cried without sound, her face etched with the worst pain Donna had ever seen. She put her hand on Dani's shoulder, not to gain attention, but to show the girl they were together to protect her...to defend her from the horror that ruined the lives of her and her brother and sister.

"What man, Jill? What man did this?" She needn't mention what "this" was; she remembered that even when Jeannie was at her best, the memories were only a trigger away...a sound or taste or smell. She tried to smile to reassure the girl, but the tears and the pain of the past got in the way, and her own face mirrored the girl's horror.

"The man...the man....he used to....he used to......" She began blubbering almost completely incoherently as the memories broke over the levee of defenses she had managed to build in the past four years. She buried her face in a pillow and began to scream again, the horror as new and painful and evil as it had been; as if it were actually happening all over. The pillow muffled the screams enough to prevent the sound from escaping the room, but the women stood and held each other, feeling helpless to deliver the girl from her horror. And then, as quickly as it started, it stopped. The girl's body relaxed and she rolled over. Her face was peaceful; even angelic as she blinked out the remaining tears.

"Jill...Jill honey..." Dani found herself choking back her own sobs as she implored the girl to wake up. After a few moments Jill looked up at Dani and smiled; feeling as if she had been rescued from a dragon by a damsel in shining armor. She smiled and looked over at Donna, whose face was etched with worry.

"It's okay, Nikki... I'm okay." She sighed deeply and sat up. Her body was soaked with sweat and she winced at the smell of her own urine.

"Gotta get cleaned up." She swung her feet over the side of the bed and sat up, practically nonchalant.

"Jill?" Dani spoke softly but firmly. She hesitated to even bring it up after the girl had gained a brief measure of peace, but it was critical to find out what she remembered, if that was actually still possible.

"Who was the man who hurt you? Who did this to you and your brother and sister?"

"Daddy." She said it as if they should have known. Her father had been presumed dead; no information was available in the file Donna had seen and the presence of her abusive step-father in the home had been assumed to be the cause for all the problems.

"Your step-dad?" Donna asked. Dani turned around and nodded, but the girl interuppted their exchange.

"NO...not him...Don't you fucking know anything?" She snapped at them impatiently, but her face turned quickly to shame as she regretted the profanity. She lowered her head, shaking it slowly from side to side.

"I'm sorry...no...it wasn't him... He's a fucking moron...a simp....Never home...." She continued to shake her head. Her step-father was an over-the-road truckdriver who was out of town.

"Your birth father?" Dani asked and was greeted with a frown and an immediate "I'm sorry" look once again.

"Yeah...my real Dad...I don't even know his name....just Daddy." She shook her head, feeling as if she were guilty of some wrong for not knowing her father's name; no one had ever told her that.

“Honey, that’s okay…it’s not your fault…why don’t you go take a shower; we don’t have to talk right now.”
Donna put her hand on the girl’s shoulder. Something was going on and she wanted to give the girl time to process it, but Jill looked at her and smiled.

“That’s okay…I don’t know his name, but I do remember he didn’t look like me or Stacy or Jimmy…I mean Mommy told me and Jimmy that it was our Daddy and we should do whatever….fuck…what he wanted us to do…and his friends…..” Dani tilted her head; it was disconcerting to see the girl do an emotional disconnect right after her nightmare. She seemed to be almost relieved at discussing her abuse, as if somehow talking about it diffused the horror; she was a jumble of different feelings and moods.

“Jill? He didn’t look like you at all?” The girl shook her head and pointed to her hair.

“He didn’t have red hair?” Jill nodded as she got up from the bed.

“Nope…not like us….no freckles…no red hair…big…like tall.” Shrugging her shoulders apologetically she grabbed the overnight bag they had bought and pulled out some clothes before closing the bathroom door behind her. As the door closed Dani and Donna turned to each other and both wore the same expression.

“The man that she knows as her father isn’t her father?” Dani asked even as Donna nodded. And the conspiracy was big enough to include the deputy commissioner of police; who else was involved remained to be seen, but whoever it was had resources enough to arrange for murders all over south east Pennsylvania.

On 22W... heading to Strausstown, Pennsylvania

The scenery sped by as they made their way west again. Their worry was that someone somehow would connect Dani and Donna and put a hold on Dani’s credit card, and that was the least of their worries. By their estimation, at least six people had already been killed, and their fear was that the killer or killers had already reached Jimmy’s foster family. Dani kept looking at her watch, as if time rather than lack of resources was their biggest enemy. If the killers were to go after Jill’s brother, it would have already taken place, and they could only pray that they weren’t too late, but the odds were against them.

“Turn here…it’s about two or three blocks.” Jill hardly looked up; her attention was on her Teddy bear.

“It’s going to be okay…don’t worry honey.” Donna smiled as Jill began to hum to herself, a sweet voice that was soothing and almost out of place considering what they all knew was a possibility. The car rolled over some railroad tracks and into an older neighborhood.

“The white one with the brown shutters.”

Jill looked up only long enough to point out the house before returning her attention to the bear. A car sat in the driveway and a bike leaned against the porch as if nothing had been disturbed. Dani pulled the car up to the curb and parked. She reached into her purse and pulled out her Glock. Checking the clip she took the gun off safety and got out of the car. Donna got out of the car and signaled for Dani to approach the house. They had no plan if confronted, but they had no choice but to wing it. Even having the girl with them was a hugely dangerous risk, but they had to chance it.

As they approached the porch they noticed the front door was opened slightly. Dani raised her weapon but quickly drew it back as a large Golden Retriever nosed her way through the doorway. She bounded down the porch steps and ran to the house across the street, disappearing behind a Nissan Pathfinder before leaping over the side yard fence and out of view. Dani waved to Donna to get her attention.

“Looks bad,” she mouthed silently as she pointed to the porch steps and sidewalk as she shook her head. Donna looked down and mirrored her partner as she shook her head; the sidewalk was covered in bloody paw prints. She nodded her head and looked to the open doorway. She took two steps toward the house when the door opened wider and a figure fell out onto the porch. Dani ran up the steps to Nancy Capaldi, Jimmy’s foster mother.

“She’s hurt bad, but I think she’ll live. Whoever did this didn’t have time to stick around.” Donna had already rushed into the house, a hasty move, but the boy was a target even more than his foster mother,and she was worried about his safety. The house yielded no reward; the boy was gone, and his foster mother clung to life.

“Hello, 911, I need to report a shooting.” Dani gave the address to the house and hung up quickly. They stayed with the woman until they heard the ambulance siren and quickly drove off as they watched the ambulance pull up to the house through the rearview mirror.

“We are so fucked.” Dani mouthed, looking over at Donna as they pulled into a strip mall parking lot four miles from the house. Donna glanced at Jill sitting quietly in the back seat. Her eyes were filled with tears and she was rocking slowly back and forth.

“Jill,, honey...Maybe he ran out before anyone….” Her voice trailed off as the girl looked up and shook her head. Donna couldn’t convince herself that Jimmy was safe; how would she be able to reassure the boy’s sister? The loud click of the radio interrupted her thoughts.

“…Mrs. Capaldi was transported to Reading Medical Center. The couple’s foster son is missing, and…” the radio clicked once again as Dani turned it off.

“Jill, honey? Is there any place around here that he’d go to? Any family…of the Capaldi’s?” There was no one to turn to in Jill's family; every member had been under suspicion of the abuse. Charges hadn't been filed due to the DA's lack of confidence in the credibility of the children as witnesses.

“No…they don’t have any sibs…Tony and Nancy. No family….Jimmy woulda taken the car if he could…He’s dead…I just know it….Fuck…fuck….he’s dead.” She burst into tears and began banging her head against the seat. She clutched the bear once again.

And He made my life
And He gave me you and I

“You….you…you should have gone there first….it’s not fair…fuck….” She started slapping the Teddy bear against the door.

“Jill….look at me…calm down, honey…Jill?” Donna made the mistake of reaching out to stop the girl’s thrashing and grabbed the Teddy bear. Jill pulled sharply and the arm came off in Donna’s hand, along with a bit of stuffing and an envelope that went flying over her shoulder, landing on the dash board.

“Jill…Stop it now.” Donna spoke firmly and slowly as she gained eye contact when the girl turned her head. The girl stopped thrashing and began to calm down as Donna patted her wrist. Dani reached over and grabbed the envelope. It was letter size and had a hard bulge. She opened it and pulled out a flash drive and a pack of photos secured with a rubber band. She nudged Donna’s arm and held up the envelope and the contents.

“Did this just come out of that bear?” Donna looked at the gaping hole in the side of the Teddy and turned and nodded. Dani pulled the rubber band off and held the photos so that Donna and Jill could see them. She pulled out the first picture and Jill smiled.

“That’s me and Jimmy. He doesn’t like dressing like a girl…see his face.” She giggled and pointed to the frown on her brother. She, on the other hand, was beaming as they both wore identical Brownie uniforms. By the look of the picture, the twins must have been about seven, right about the time when the abuse started. Dani shook her head and bit her lip to stifle a sob. The girl had been so horrified that morning after the nightmare, but now seemed calm. She handed the pack of pictures to Donna and turned her head against the car window. Donna pulled out the next photo.

“Yeah…that’s Stacy and me and Jimmy…Halloween…We went as princesses…I liked the crown… how fucking stupid….like I was something special.” She shook her head and pulled the picture from Donna’s hand and put it in the front pocket of her back pack.

“I don’t have any pictures of Stacy….or Jimmy.” She began to sob, but she stayed in control. Dani turned around and shook her head at the girl’s rollercoaster-like display of emotions; she reached over her seat back and touched the girl gently on the wrist, smiling even as the tears poured from her eyes.

“Don’t cry…I’m okay…really.” Jill grabbed Dani’s hand and gripped it tight. Donna smiled at the exchange; they were in the midst of a huge transformation and it was absolutely a marvel to behold. She pulled the next photo out of the pack and the girl went to snatch it from her hand.

“Give me that! Give me that.” Donna pulled back the photo and the girl became hysterical. Dani felt the girl’s nails dig into her hand as she went pull it back. Donna turned and held the photo in her hand and the blood drained from her face. She reached over with her left hand and grabbed Dani’s arm. Dani turned at looked at the photo in Donna’s hand and her expression was an exact duplicate of the one on her partner’s face; horrified recognition as she noted the subject of the picture.

Three adorable little girls; a little six year old and the eight-year-old twins wore cowgirl outfits like Jessie from Toy Story Two. Standing behind them was the girls’ mother and a very tall, grandfatherly looking man; Phillip McKenzie, the City Council President of the City of Brotherly Love. The events of the day, coupled with a new-found feeling of intimacy and even faith caused something that surprised but comforted Dani.

"Dear God, please protect us and help us get out of this mess and please protect Jimmy and Stacy!" Jill smiled and finished.

"And thank you for Paulette and Nikki...oh yeah....Dani and Donna. Can they keep me when this is over? Amen." She smiled at Donna who smiled back.

"Please? Thanks!" Dani silently mouthed as she looked back and forth between her partner and the girl she had grown to love.

"Amen....I hope." Donna sighed.

Is there more I could ask for?
Is there something I’m missing?
Why doesn’t everyone feel the same as me?
Is there something I could ask for?
What am I missing?

Next: You Stepped Out of a Dream

Angel's Wings
as performed by the composer
Marisa Frantz
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VRwMghIemo&feature=fvw