well, after church today, the Affirm group met to discuss the upcoming Pride week, and one of the things that will take place is a special lunch on Sunday after the service, followed by a guest speaker. During this conversasion, my poem "Dear God" got mentioned, and in the end they would like me to read it aloud at this lunch.

I cant remember the last time I spoke in front of people, so this could be interesting on that front, but I'm incredably humbled to be asked.

It will be on June 9th, and I'm hoping someone can film it so I can make a link afterward.

I got a package from the clinic where, God willing, I will be getting my SRS done. While I could spend my time wishing and dreaming about the day I'm post-op, I've decided to take another approach. I'm going to enjoy the now, be grateful for what I have, and try my best to keep looking on the bright side of things. I will probably slip once in a while, and sometimes, I will suffer from depression or PTSD attacks, but I'm really going to do my best to keep my head up.

Wish me luck, okay?

Well, yesterday I mentioned that wearing a skirt felt so good I could feel my blood pressure drop, and it turns out that wasnt a figurative statement. I went to get my estrogen prescription refilled and used the blood pressure machine while I waited, and my blood pressure was 109/88 - a significant drop from before where I was hovering around the danger zone.

too bad I cant wear skirts all the time, but ah, well.

well, after having a conversation with my mom, I feel a lot better about the car situation. Its going to be tight for a bit, but we can make it, and I will have a reliable car which I need to keep working.

Well, there is a new story by me up, and I'm trying hard to not be nervous about how it will be received.

here is an interesting article on being trans:

http://www.autostraddle.com/im-a-trans-woman-and-im-not-inte...

Well, I had a productive day off today. I cleaned my room, getting rid of 1 bag of garbage and 1 bag of clothes and accessories for goodwill.

Feels nice.

That's how long I've been at this site, according to my profile.

So happy anniversary to me!

Gonna have a new story up shortly. Its.... well, you gonna have to read it, I dont think I want to spoil any surprises ......

2 big moments happened in the last couple of days. First, on Saturday night one of my co-workers asked if I wanted to go with a group from work to the new Star Trek movie when it comes out. This is a big deal, because its the first social event I've ever been invited to as Dorothy.

The other moment happened today. As part of prep for a possible move, I took the last of my male clothes to a local charity, and it felt like the last goodbye to Todd, which is about time, I think.

Both good steps forward, dont you think?

Had a super great day at work last night, with no pain in my shoulders for the first time in 3 weeks. Yay!

my copy of "She's not there" has arrived!

I'm reading, and I'm having a bookgasim!

As some of you guys know by now, I talk to Jaci by phone or online at least once every day, and I think she missed her calling.

Well, thanks to Jaci being a big tattle-tale and telling you guys I was feeling grumpy, I got flooded with people ready to cheer me up.

Sniffle, I love you guys ....

well, my cluster headaches have returned. See, just before I started transitioning, I started getting these mysterious pains in my face, centered on just below my right eye. Eventually they found out that they were "cluster headaches", sort of like migraines but different spot, and that they were stress-related.

They went away when I started my transition, probably because I took a serious part of my stress off my plate by living authentically, but I guess it was too much to hope for that they wouldn't ever come back.

Ah, well

well, last night, I was being left in charge of "zoning", which basically means making sure the shelves are clean, neat, and that the product is as close to the lip as possible. While this was going on, my supervisor told me that the reason why she was pushing me hard on getting it perfect was because she believes I have the potential to move up into a supervisor's role, should I wish to make that a goal. So I told her my long term plan would include me doing a less physical job, and she said she would talk to people and see about getting the ball rolling for me toward that end.

Been thinking about my brother a lot the last couple of days. Because I'm the kind of person I am, I can put myself in his shoes a bit, and I dont look good from that angle. I mean, he pretty much had to take over for my father and look after me at an impossibly young age, he did his best by me, and then after I got married and he probably hoped things were on their way up, I went and failed to pay my mortgage, leaving him hurt and having to clean up my mess.

I happened to catch on the radio the story of Rehtaeh Parsons, a young woman in Nova Scotia who was raped and had pictures of her rape shown around her school, and how she has committed suicide.

I was talking with Kylie today, and she mentioned that she talks about me with just about everyone she knows - her therapist, her floor monitor, her friends - and when she does, she blushes. I find this idea, that the thought of me making someone blush to be hard to wrap my head around. But there you have it. Neat, no?