Dorothy Colleen

Yasmine's Wedding Switch

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Yasmine’s Wedding Switch



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This story is 4 words long.

Upset over Steubenville

Just heard the verdict in the Steubenville rape case. As I feared, a slap on the wrist for the popular football players, and no justice for the victim. Trying really hard not to let myself get lost in anger ....

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need advice? Ask Dottie ...

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I must have "free advice-giver" written on me somewhere. Last night a co-worker who I've just started to get to know decided to unload about her long-distance relationship. Reminds me of high school when I had several girls who regularly filled me in how awful their boyfriends treated them ....

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bad day for flashbacks

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Had a bad day for flashbacks last night. I think that if I had known what horrors were locked in my head behind the door marked "Dorothy", I would have never been brave enough to open it up. I've gained the girl I was before my rape, but the memories of what happened to me are almost more than I can bear ....

But thanks to my wonderful friends, I live to fight another day

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TG PMS

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just finished the latest chapter of "Jem" which featured "TG PMS" - basically its when a trans girl like me starts feeling like a fake. It happens to me sometimes, and on bad days I wonder if I will ever be whole .....

Ah, well. I'm pretty blessed in this journey so far. The rejection and hatred I expected did not happen, and even those people who think this is a mistake have assured me that they love me anyway.

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scary moment last night.

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Had a very scary moment last night. I had gone to pick up Sharon, and drove her to her 2nd job cleaning a doctor's office. I was still kinda hurting and tired from my ER adventures, so I stayed in the car and figured I'd have a short nap.

Unfortunately, as soon as I fell asleep, I was partially woken up by something shaking me. Then I realized it was me shaking me - my muscles were doing this spaz thing like I was being shocked, and I couldnt seem to wake up enough to make it stop.

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just got home from the hosptital

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I just got back from getting checked out at my local hospital. I had a lot of pain in my stomach , and so decided to get it looked at. Just some bruising from work, so that was a relief, but I got really tired of being called by my male name when my preferred name is listed on my chart ....

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I can only be me

Having to take a day off from work because I felt like I had strained my stomach muscles gave me a lot more time to read today, and looking at some of the fantastic work that's been produced here I can only reach a couple of conclusions.

One is that Erin and her elves have created the most amazing place I can imagine, and we who get to enjoy their work should remember to be grateful, and show that gratitude however we can - contributing to the hat box, or even just making sure we dont make things harder for them with our blogs, stories, and comments.

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A Second Chance

A Second Chance



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Let me tell you a story ...

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Let me tell you a story ....

Author's note: This is a tough story with some strong themes, including an attempt at suicide. Please read with care



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This story is 26 words long.

zombie killer girl at work

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Had an interesting conversation with a girl at work. She described with great gusto her love for zombie-killing, and of course I immediately thought of my little story (which you can find here:)

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bruising myself at work

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came home from work yesterday with a loonie-size bruise on my belly, and no idea how it got there. Today its spread, and looks rather nasty. One of these days, I'm going to poke a hole right through me, and not realize it until I look at the floor and wonder where all the red stuff came from ....

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Growing pains part 2 - A Jaci/Dottie story

Growing pains part 2 - A Jaci and Dottie story

Dottie had been through a tough time.



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This story is 16 words long.

Fighting depression

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Thanks to a story by Bailey Summers, I've been thinking about my dad. As most of you know, He committed suicide when I was 5 years old. They call it "depression" but somehow, it just doesnt seem to cover this total inability to see himself as a person of worth. He lived his last few years as if all the blessings in his life were stolen property that would be taken from him as soon as he was caught with them ....

I know this struggle in myself far too well. Too many days have started or ended with me feeling like I was getting an "F" in life .....

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started the process for my name change

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Well, I finally got off the pot, as it were and got the forms so I can get my birth certificate, which is the first step in getting a legal name change. It had felt like such a permanent and serious step, it took me this long to rev up enough courage to go for it ....

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Just came home from church

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just came home from church. Not only a nice service on hungering for God, but a communion service, and they also gave me a healing oil and a prayer. I also got a chance to have a nice long chat with the minister's partner, and she's really cool. Finally, I have a church I can call home ....

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reverse wedding

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have you guys ever hear of a a reverse wedding? If I remember right, it was something that would take place the day before an actual wedding. They would take a married couple, have the girl put on a wedding tux and the guy a wedding dress, and do a usually funny version of the wedding ceremony.

anybody else hear of this idea?

I'm not sure why this upset me so

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Had a conversation with a friend the other day, and she mentioned how I looked when I am having a flashback - my face gets flushed, tears form in my eyes, and I get this "I'm not home" look. For some reason, finding this out shook me, I dont exactly know why ....

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Growing pains - A Jaci and Dottie story

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Growing Pains- a Jaci and Dottie story

Dottie stopped reading her book and scratched her chest again, which she had been doing all day when she thought no one was looking.



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This story is 31 words long.

considering making a will

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I've been thinking about making a will. I have a pretty good idea what I want - my furniture should go to good will, my books to the local library, my clothes to the pride center to be given to any trans person who needs a wardrobe, my pictures and papers and any money I have go to my daughter, and my stories go to my best friend Kylie, except the ones i made with Jaci, she should have those.

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A Bride's Head, Visited

A Bride’s head, visited

Author's note: This is what happens when you visit the more strange parts of my brain. You have been warned ...



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This story is 25 words long.

went to church tonight

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Went to the covenanting service at the United Church downtown tonight. They were welcoming a new pastor, and believe it or not, she's a trans woman and a lesbian. The service was nice, everyone was friendly, and I will definitely go back every Sunday now that my schedule allows ...

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had an okay day yesterday

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well, yesterday turned out to be a pretty good day. It started with my brother and sister-in-law coming over for dinner. My first instinct was to not be there - on the principal that since I caused stress, the best way for me to remove stress is to remove the source - me.

But my mom insisted I be present, and it actually was a decent night - no body slams, no use of utensils as weapons, not even name calling took place. I dont think I'm in their good books or anything, but if we can be civil during a meal, well, good things can happen.

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bit of a tough day last night

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A bit of a tough night last night, the evil "tape" that runs in my head and jumps on every failure and mistake I make as proof of my utter worthlessness was running hot. I really need a more positive tape in my brain, but at this point, a loop of the Bee Gee's greatest hits would be an improvement ....

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my daughter's laughter

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Well, I'm going to try and not spend time worrying about my brother and sister-in-law. they will do what they think best, and so must I. And what's best for me is to try and focus on the blessings I have, which my daughter is one of the best. I love her laugh especially, sometimes I say goofy stuff to her just to get her giggling, its such a sweet sound in my ears. As long as I have that, I'll be okay.

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if I end up losing contact with my family

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of all the ways I could lose my brother and sister in law, if this little tiff turns out to be the end of our relationship, well, its a pretty pathetic end.

ah, well.

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I have a decision to make

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Well, I went to my interview with Target, and it didnt go like I expected at all. I was interviewed twice by two different pairs of people, and then basically hired on the spot - I have a tentative employment with them starting the beginning of March. So now, I have a decision to make - go with them, or stay with Wal-mart?

Pray I make the right call here ....

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interview with Target tomorrow morning

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Well, tomorrow morning I go to an interview with Target. I'm super nervous, I have no idea how they feel about trans, or anything. wish me luck.

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something incredible has happened

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well, one of the Provincial Supreme courts here did something almost unheard of - it more than doubled the sentence handed down for Graham James, the hockey coach who was found guilty of molesting NHL player Theo Fluery, among others. Instead of the 2 year sentence he was given by the judge, he will now serve 5 years, unless the Canadian Supreme court changes it. Its not as good as the sentence I would have given him - to hang suspended by a hook in his member for the remainder of his life, but I guess it will have to do ...

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I take back all the bad things I said about Valentines

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I have to take back all the nasty things I said about Valentines, and I think I have the most awesome mom ever. She decided I needed something for Valentines, and so gave me a couple of pretty blouses and a set of earrings. Bless you, mom!

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Even Ugly Girls Need Love - an anti-Valentines story

Even Ugly girls Need Love - an anti-Valentines story

I’m sorry. I dont get naked around people. I dont even like to get naked when I’m alone, honestly.



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This story is 30 words long.

seeing myself in a non-trans story

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every once in a while, I read a non-trans story that makes me feel like putting on a tinfoil hat, because the author has caught my emotions perfectly, even while talking about something else.

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my brain is melting ....

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Okay, so I'm scared now. a while back I couldn't seem to remember the word "screwdriver" and today I couldnt remember the word "dresser".

My brain is melting ......

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