Well, I had a dental appointment yesterday, and I am in pain, but at least its over with.

Well, Jaci is gonna have a laugh about this, but last night, I was talking to a co-worker about my transition, and I mentioned how nervous I was starting out.

Her response?

Imagine for a moment that there was something you had seriously mixed feelings about.

Something you ached for, but were ashamed of, and afraid of.

I was going through the stories on my favorites list, and it made me kinda sad to realize how many of them are unfinished, and may never be finished.

Some examples:

As some of my regular readers know, I have always been interested in alternate universes.

Well, since I had talked about it briefly yesterday, I want to share a bit about the two dreams I had recently that have me wondering what my unconscious or subconscious or whatever is trying to tell me.

The first one took place in a crowded restaurant, and I ended up having to share a table with a man. Despite my initial shyness, he managed to draw me into a conversation, and when it was time for me to go, I gave him a sisterly kiss on the cheek. The gesture was so feminine, and came to me so naturally, I woke up being jealous of my dream-self's confidence.

Well, I spent the morning today cleaning up my computer area, and as a reward, I went to the Y.M.C.A. pool for a good swim.

Well, there is supposed to be some good news on the way for Alberta trans people like me.

Does the fact that there might be a medical reason why I'm trans make any difference?

Just for fun, I thought I might share with you all what stories I'm working on, to hopefully whet your appetite ...

you know, I often praise the level of tolerance I receive here in Edmonton, but there have been some ... troubling signs that the forces of bigotry are trying to push back.

I spent the whole day at the University hospital today.

First, I tried to get in to the dentist to get my teeth fixed, but the best I could do there was get an appointment for next month.

For the last couple of days, I've been dealing with a terrible pain in my teeth. I tried going to the emergency dental clinic, but the earliest I can get in to see someone is tomorrow afternoon.

Well, its Jaci's birthday today, so if you see her online, you'll make sure you wish her the very best of birthdays, wont you?

As I woke today I found myself thinking, and what I thought was "I can't remember the last time I had a nightmare".

Well, the last couple of days have brought some bad news, but also some good news, so here is an update:

I'm sitting here totally shocked. I've been talking to Jaci and she told me that she's been talking to my mom, who apparently told her that she "didn't raise me as a boy." She went on to say she didn't force me to be a girl, either she just "raised me to be Dorothy." I really don't know where to put this piece of information. I'm ... just ... stunned ...

my last story didn't turn out as well as I would have liked. Would like to figure out why I'm regressing in my storytelling ...

Had a funny moment yesterday getting an oil change for my car. I was waiting in the lounge when a guy came in with a clipboard containing paperwork and a set of keys. He saw me, and continued to look around the lounge, and realizing I was the only one there he looked rather confused.

Finally, I said to him, "Is that for my car?" He looked at me, looked at his sheet and asked tentatively "T...Todd?" I smiled and nodded and he gave me the keys.

It seems clear to me that he saw me as a woman to the point he couldn't believe my male name belongs to me.

Some random thoughts:

Well, for whoever is interested, I'm publishing the last chapter of my autobiography today. I may put it as a whole on fictionmania, I'm not sure, but otherwise its time to move on to other projects.

To those who have read it, I hope its been interesting.