Well, we got some bad news here.

I think I understand Lady Gaga just a little better than I did.

Now, don't get ahead of me, I'm going somewhere with this.

well, I've put up chapter 2 of "Mirror mirror."

Sorry its so short ...

If you are interested, I've found an interesting article on being trans and being a survivor of sex abuse:

http://www.firelily.com/gender/gianna/childhood.trauma.html

Well, here is a copy of what I said in church today:

I am transgender.

You might have guessed that, I mean, I don’t really know how well I “pass” so maybe you can tell by looking at me.

Just a question for you all. I am considering publishing here the speech I will give at church on Sunday, and I wonder if I should do so as a "story" or a "blog"?

opinions?

As most of my long-time readers know, I try my best in this blog to be as honest as I possibly can, in part to make up for the amount of lying that was part of my life before. That isn't always easy, a lot of the time I'd rather talk about something "safe" than bring out the tough stuff that's going on. Like, for example, discovering I did the double-look at boys, that was not easy to write out for public consumption, to say the least.

Sadly, I'm faced with one of those moments again

well, yesterday I went to the doctor's about my foot, and my 2nd worst fears have been confirmed. My worst fear was that it was cancer, which it isn't, but my second-worst fear was that they would tell me there's nothing more they can do for me, and that's what's happened. Apparently, they don't think surgery is a good choice because the risks of nerve damage, so basically, I can try to stuff a pad into my shoe and hope that helps, and otherwise, I get to just live with it.

Ah, well. with my gender issues, I already knew I wasn't gonna ever be pain free anyway ...

well, I have a rough draft of what I want to say in church on June 8, and I would really like some opinions on it. If you're interested, please send me a private message.

Well, I have been asked if I wanted to speak at my church during the Pride service on June 8. If you're the praying type, pray I do the community and my God proud with my words.

Well, I just got home from my group therapy session, and once again, I am in tears.

Its not news, but I am a total wuss when it comes to pain.

For example, I am currently in tears because my mouth hurts so much.

Well, happy Mother's day, everyone.

If you can, be kind to a mother. Your mother for preference, but you can pick another mother if you need to ...

Well, apparently, I have very stubborn testosterone.

If anybody is interested, I have created a Big Closet Fan page on Facebook

Here is a link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1418685195068872/

check it out, and join, if you wanna!

After my group therapy session, I stopped at a local mall and looked around, including a walk through the bookstore, and I came across a book called "623 stories you can write". I took a peek inside, and it had story titles or questions like "you're an astronaut - describe one day in your life", or "describe the worst Thanksgiving day dinner ever".

I forgot to get the name of the authors, but I'm sure someone could find the book if they were interested in writing but have trouble finding good ideas.

Just a quick note to thank all the people who sent me good wishes during the last couple of days.

You're all amazing, thank you.

Before I do anything else in this blog entry, an apology.

I'm sorry this entry isn't gonna be fluffy kitties and rainbows.

Well, I'm sorry to report that I am no longer part of a couple.

There are a great many things I can say about me.

I was broken.

I'm healing.

I'm still not who I want to be.

I'm no longer who I was.

I was doomed to be trans, no matter what.