I had a strange moment at work.

Out of the blue, I had this ... urge to make my walk more feminine. So I found myself swaying my hips like a catwalk model for a while.

Then later in the shift, I panicked about having done this. Somehow I felt like I had taken away my ability to blend into the background by walking like that.

Fortunately, by the end of the shift, I was mostly okay.

Make of this what you will ...

I'm looking for a story, and hoping somebody can help.

It was about a trans girl who had been sexaully abused, and after her transition plans to kill her abuser when he's released from prison Only she's confronted by the man who has come to love her who begs her not to ...

Anybody with an idea of the name of that story?

There are some amazing stories on this site. We are blessed with so many good authors, who give us their stories for free, when they are as good or better than anything in any bookstore.

I almost hate to list some of my favorite authors, simply because I'm afraid I'll forget somebody who deserves the mention, and they'll feel bad for being left out.

That said, I wanted to say something about a story I just re-read.

Except I don't think I can do it justice, so all I can say is if you've never read it, you should, and if you have, you should read it again.

Sometimes, prayers are answered in ways you dont expect them to be.

I was having a tough day, unable to sleep, pouring my heart out to God, and I ended my prayer by saying I really could use a hug from God, just to know I was still loved.

Well, not long after I finished praying, my little bundle of fur decided to jump up into my bed, worm her way under my covers, and snuggle next to me.

I giggled, and said to God, "I was hoping for a God-sized hug, not a dog-sized hug, but I'll take it, and thanks."

I was gonna rant about Julie, but I decided she's not worth my time.

Instead, I wanna talk about the ripple effect.

Basically, the ripple effect is the idea that when one person's life turns in a posititve direction, they spread that positivity to the people they meet, who spread the positivity further, and so on, like a ripple in a pond going ever outward.

Well, right now, I think we need some positivity, so I'm giving all my friends here a challenge - I want you all to do or say something nice for someone else.

I had an interesting conversation with my mom last night, in which she expressed her feelings of guilt over my situation.

She said she felt guilty that I was trans, guilty that she didn't stop my abuse, guilty about how my stepfather treated me.

I tried to explain that not only were some of those no fault of hers whatsoever, even what part she did play isnt worth feeling guilty over. I told her it was easy to look back with 20/20 hindsight, and say you'd do things differently, but ultimately its useless to do so.

Just got some bad news.

My daughter's dog is in a very bad way, and may pass soon.

My daughter is totally in denial, and this is gonna be so hard ...

On this day in history ...

Lyndon Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act

the first Zeppelin flew

And ...

I was born!

A story of mine, "The hem of His garment" has been published in an online magazine for LGBT Christians called "Created Gay".

Here is the link:

http://www.createdgay.com/files/magazinejuly2015.pdf

Okay, I'm starting to feel frustratingly stuck in terms of my transition. For some reason, I cant get over the hump and take care of my legal name, or wear makeup in public, or lose enough weight to get surgery.

Its like somewhere in my brain something is saying "Look, you've been lucky so far, why push it? Its safe where you are, and you could get hurt if you go further."

I guess I'm just a big scardy-cat.

Ok, since its been a rough week, lets start the weekend with a smile, as I present ...

Dorothy's 5 star blanket fort!

Yes, this blanket fort has everything for those occasiions when you need a break from the world. Its got soft blankets (in your choice of colors), several stuffed animals to cuddle , a pillow to rest on, and a compartment full of your favorite comfort foods/treats.

So next time, you need to get away, chose Dorothy's 5 star blanket fort!

And now back to your regular program ...

Really got the PTSD bad right now. If you're the praying type, prayers appreciated, as are huggles.

Well, having had success with sharing "Dear God", I thought I would share something else with one of the people at my church.

So I sent him a copy of "The hem of His garment". His response?

"Dorothy, what a powerful and amazing story. I was riveted and moved. You wrote this? Wow!'

I might just start a happy dance ...

I'm home from going to my daughter's 9th grade graduation.

She won two awards - one for reading, and one for most improved student.

I'm super proud of her!

Please keep Jaci (AKA Tels) in your thoughts today, as she has to attend the funeral for her stepmother.

All good vibes appreciated, I'm sure ...

I am not sure, but I think I may be losing my mind.

now before you get yourselves upset by that statement, let me explain, as best I can.

See, for the last couple of months, every once in a while I have had a sensation that either means I'm becoming delusional because I read too many comic books, or a sign that something very weird is happening to me.

I had an experiance at work last night that I want to share, but I'm struggling to find the right words.

So bear with me ...

It started with me struggling with my PTSD before work. I was already shaky and not doing well by the time I had to go to work, and the awful feeling continued to build as my shift went on. Finally, frustrated, I asked myself "Just what am I feeling?"

The answer came back "Grief. Grief for what was lost."

Finally, in desperation, I decided to simply let myself grieve for a bit for what was taken from me.

I am trying to find a story, and my brain is farting on the name. It involved a Batman-like superhero who could teleport in shadows who gets turned into a girl only to have it revealed he was always trans on the inside.

Loved it, loved the humor, the feels, but I cant remember the name, or the author, or if she will ever finish the story

anybody?

Two pieces of good news from Canada!

First, Parlament passes a bill to protect trans people:

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/commons-approves-transgender-r...

Second, the Canadian Football league now has its first openly gay player:

http://www.theprovince.com/sports/Michael+first+openly+draft...

I havent heard anybody mention it, so I wanted to let people know that JennaFl has passed away according to Facebook.

My condolances and prayers go out to her family and friends

Well, everything is set. My poem will appear in the newspaper which will be available a week from today.

(does a happy dance... )

I just got a phone call from my church. They would like to use my "Dear God" poem in a newspaper they hand out around downtown Edmonton, or possibly something original, if I can do it in the next couple of days.

Needless to say, I'm honored ...