Okay, here is a bit of a giggle for you all.

When I got my tire replaced, I was told I would have to come back in to get something done after 50 k or so, so when I woke up this afternoon I phoned about making an appointment.

Now, because I had to sign legal stuff, I was using my male name when talking with the guy.

Except that when he was talking to me on the phone, he called me ma'am.

Apparently, my voice is feminine enough that he ... slipped up, as it were.

Not that I mind ...

Giggles.

Well, I am back connected again!

(Does a happy dance)

There have been a lot of cases of sexual assault in the news lately, and as a result I've been hearing a lot about ''closure". In most cases, its referred to in relation to whether or not an abuser can be charged with a crime.

Sadly, that's not an option for me, so the question becomes, can I still get "closure" if I cant watch my abuser be locked up for his crime?

I think I can.

Doing what I'm doing now, slowly healing, becoming stronger, getting support from my many friends, praying and writing and living my life.

That's my plan, at any rate.

Just so nobody worries, I wont be around much the next while, between packing, moving, and (hopefully) hooking up in the new place.

Take care of each other, and take care of yourselves.

And have some huggles to give you warm fuzzy thoughts till I get back!

HUGGLES!

Well, yesterday I got berated for an hour by my aunt saying I neglected my grandmother and now I'm killing my mother.

I think my aunt's comments hit me harder than I realized. I struggled all night at work with feeling worthless, feeling like the world would be better off without me.

I am seriously considering going to the hospital to get my hip checked out.

It used to just hurt near the end of my shift at work, but I woke this morning in terrible pain and I didn't even work last night.

Had another tough day yesterday. Didn't sleep well, and then my aunt phoned me and yelled at me, saying I was the reason my mom was gonna be homeless, that she's bankrupt because of helping me and my ex, and so on.

Sighs ...

I REALLY got to get better at bookmarking stories I like.

Once again, I need help finding a story.

It was about a wager between Heaven and Hell, with a young boy as the subject. He's granted superpowers, but in the process ends up a girl.

Any ideas?

Well, I got a letter in the mail yesterday saying that I have officially paid off my student loan.

Took a long, long time, but its gone.

Now, I just have to pay off the accident I had last year, and all I will have for debt is my car ...

(Dottie does a happy dance)

Yesterday, I went and got my oil changed, and while I was waiting a man came in with a small dog. We sat beside each other, while the dog sniffed around and accepted pets from the people who were sitting and waiting. But if someone was standing up, and tried to pet the dog, he'd back up, unsure of the situation.

Anyway, after I had paid for the service and was about to leave, the man and the dog were approaching the till, and the dog, without any hestiation, went up to me and licked my leg (I was in a skirt).

The man said, "He likes you. He can tell you're a good person."

This is not a drill!

A large group of huggles has escaped to the internet, and may end up in a inbox near you!

Experts suggest letting them huggle so they dont get discouraged. Nobody wants to see a sad huggle ...

I had an amazing day with my daughter today. Took her to a museum, looked at some dinosaurs, watched a movie about dinosaurs, and she was very happy to have a day with me.

I am so grateful I still have her in my life, despite my mistakes and my transition.

And now, just for fun, a song that's (sort of) about dinosaurs ..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fGQzIE-nmM

I am not one of those people who thinks that "big boys/girls dont cry".

In fact, I think there some times when crying is exactly what you should be doing, and that crying can be good for you.

That said, I prefer to have a reason to cry, so what happened on my way to work last night was frustrating.

Out of the blue, for no reason I could figure, I was suddenly enveloped by grief, and it was all I could do to keep my car on the road until the feeling passed.

Ah, well.

Just curious what people's opinions would be ... what BC story would make a good movie?

If its not too egotistical, I think my "Rock Star Makeover" could work.

I have something to share, but its a little complicated, so please bear with me.

I had ... an experiance? a vision? a stray thought? Not sure, but to explain it I have to do a little history first.

In 1980, Mt. St. Helens erupted in one of the biggest volcanic eruptions in North America in my lifetime. Lava and hot ash burned a huge area and the sky turned grey as far away as Calgary.

But 30 years later, life is returning to the area, and slowly the mountainside is turning back to green.

Guess what time it is?

Its dream sharing time!

Well, my latest was very different. In the dream, I was invited to a church event at someone's house, and going there, I found no one I recognized. I stayed for a while, but I felt so out of place among strangers that I eventually left and started walking around the city to clear my head.

What made it really interesting to me was my reaction to this circumstance. I didn't cry, feel sorry for myself, or anything of the kind. I passed it off as some kind of mistake, and basically let it go.

I was gonna talk about funerals and other fun topics, but I'm concerned about my emotional state. I am starting to worry my anti-depressant isnt working very well any more, as I am getting very fragile for no reason I can think of.

Ah, well.

I got to spend Father's day with my daughter for a few hours today, and as a gift she gave me a little figurine. Its an elephant dressed as an angel, with a pink robe, pink trimmed wings, a halo, and a pink heart as a shield.

Does my daughter get me, or what?

Okay, this is gonna be a bit tough, but I think I need to share this.

I figured out why I've been struggling so much with the PTSD the last while.

As always happens, there were a bunch of factors that contributed to it.

First, I was fighting a bit of a cold, and there's nothing like being under the weather to weaken the defences psychologically.

2nd, I had a depressive episode, which also weakened my defences.

3rd, I happened to read about a sexual assault in the news that really hit me hard.

I really wonder what's going on with me lately.

For at least a week, I was dealing with grief and depression periodically, and then I had the worst PTSD attack I've had in quite some time.

I feel a little better now, and would like to thank all those who sent me messages of support.

Huggles to everybody