I was reading an excellent science fiction book a while back and it got me thinking about the process of creating a society for a story.

a while back Bailey Summers did a bit where he used the analogy of using spoons to represent a portion of one's physical, emotional, and psychological strength to deal with life.

There was an interesting article in a local paper yesterday about a woman who had lost her hair due to an autoimmune disease, and for the last 3 years refused to be seen in public without a wig, until she finally decided to "come out of the hair closet" by letting herself be photographed without it.

In some ways, my transition has been like her story - years of hiding and self-hate, then coming out and discovering just a big a relief it is to be honest, and then finding out that most people ignore me, some accept me, and some love me regardless.

A large number of huggles have escaped their containment units, and may be headed this way! Remember, if a huggle approaches you, the best response is to just let it give you a huggle. This will cause it to dissipate. If you resist, well, who knows what will happen ...

We had an interesting sermon in church today.

I think things are getting much better for trans people.

Back in the Eighties, there was a bit by Billy Crystal where he played a character called "Fernando". He even made a music video as the character called "You look Mahavalous" . In it there is a line where he says "If you look good, you feel good."

Well, I guess he was on to something, because today for counseling, I've chosen to wear a dark blue skirt and a light blue striped top,a necklace with blue stones, and a set of earrings, and I actually feel better because I think I look better.

Well, something happened yesterday that's got me concerned.

Well, we got some bad news here.

I think I understand Lady Gaga just a little better than I did.

Now, don't get ahead of me, I'm going somewhere with this.

well, I've put up chapter 2 of "Mirror mirror."

Sorry its so short ...

If you are interested, I've found an interesting article on being trans and being a survivor of sex abuse:

http://www.firelily.com/gender/gianna/childhood.trauma.html

Well, here is a copy of what I said in church today:

I am transgender.

You might have guessed that, I mean, I don’t really know how well I “pass” so maybe you can tell by looking at me.

Just a question for you all. I am considering publishing here the speech I will give at church on Sunday, and I wonder if I should do so as a "story" or a "blog"?

opinions?

As most of my long-time readers know, I try my best in this blog to be as honest as I possibly can, in part to make up for the amount of lying that was part of my life before. That isn't always easy, a lot of the time I'd rather talk about something "safe" than bring out the tough stuff that's going on. Like, for example, discovering I did the double-look at boys, that was not easy to write out for public consumption, to say the least.

Sadly, I'm faced with one of those moments again

well, yesterday I went to the doctor's about my foot, and my 2nd worst fears have been confirmed. My worst fear was that it was cancer, which it isn't, but my second-worst fear was that they would tell me there's nothing more they can do for me, and that's what's happened. Apparently, they don't think surgery is a good choice because the risks of nerve damage, so basically, I can try to stuff a pad into my shoe and hope that helps, and otherwise, I get to just live with it.

Ah, well. with my gender issues, I already knew I wasn't gonna ever be pain free anyway ...

well, I have a rough draft of what I want to say in church on June 8, and I would really like some opinions on it. If you're interested, please send me a private message.

Well, I have been asked if I wanted to speak at my church during the Pride service on June 8. If you're the praying type, pray I do the community and my God proud with my words.

Well, I just got home from my group therapy session, and once again, I am in tears.