Masks Chapter 5

*Before…

“I…” Part of me is wildly looking for an excuse and the other part is waking up like the real me curled up crying inside just say someone open up the drapes inside the dark room I’ve been trapped in and I…I can maybe…maybe just take a chance…look outside…be me…?

“Okay…okay…”

I can do this right?

“Good the bathroom is upstairs and on the left.”

I head up and I’m shaking…I look at myself in the mirror and I take the wig out of my jacket pocket and shake it loose and try to get it to look okay and I get undressed and stare at myself…not at this stranger that only sort of looks like me in the mirror and then mask falls off and I grab a towel and I start crying into it to muffle the way that everything feels right now.

That’s not me looking back at me.

*And Now…

Can Dreams Come True?…Part 7

I’m still trying to figure things out.

How he is, how that must feel.

I sort of get it but.

He’s a girl that’s never been a girl but she…he’s not transgendered?

Okay one thing’s pretty clear and that Ryan seems way, way more together than me.

It’s actually kind of nice in that way.

I lean back in the chair I’m in and sort of hug myself and think and I’m still doing that when he comes back and he looks at me.

“Josie? You okay?”

Masks Chapter 4

Chapter 4

*Before………..

I try a brave girl smile at her…yes girls can smile differently, they have this whole range of stuff that’s guyboden for me to do.

I’m scared actually but I say it anyway. “Girlfriends.”

Mary Jane shakes pinkies with me again. “Girlfriends.”

I really wish I could happy cry right now. It almost fees like my heart’s beating for the first time all over again.

*Now…………

Drew’s Dilemma.

By Angharad.

The Faithful, North African and Middle Eastern Islamic nations, are plotting to seize the oil resources of the Middle East. By controlling the earth's oil and its major trade routes, they plan to bring the world to its knees. Then, when the entire world is kneeling, the Faithful of Allah will read to them from the Koran, preaching the message of Islam, the True Faith. The Faithful will stop at nothing to achieve their goal. But how far will they go? And how many lives will it cost?

Glimpses

You can blame Jaci for this one. Its the conversations we’ve had that led to this ...

At first, there were only glimpses.

Lead Shoes-18

Chapter 18

It’s good that he’s in a better mood after all of that as we head to the Bowl ‘N Wash and I go around the back way. There’s lots of room and stuff and while like I said it’s not a bad area out front there’s usually a bunch of kids out there to smoke and smoke up or drink.

It’s the “rebel” teenager stuff kind of place but I park the van out back and we head to out front from there.

I slow down well I can’t really go fast in my crutches anyways but I wait and see if I can see her out front and she’s there.

Can I have some Brown Sugar for my Damper? Chapter 9.

Chapter 9.

I told Rudy the truth.

“I like you Rudy and that makes a lot of difference.”

It really, really does too.

I had all these thoughts and feelings of what it was like to be a transgendered woman that was really influenced by Sophie. I felt for the first time in my life right in my skin but it was missing things…feelings and connection.

I’m here tonight with Rudy and it’s just supper after a nice day out before we do the weekend and movies and Sam with us and talking and kissing and cuddling up.

Nothing you couldn’t find anyone else doing at any night of the week.

But actually I’ve never done this before.