"Gosh Stella, maybe you should be reading this, not me." I said in true humility.

"Letter to the Corinthians 13:1," I had to learn the frigging thing by heart because I threw a tampon at Maisie Plummer."

"You what?" I gasped before erupting with laughter.

Easy As Falling Off A Bike.
by Angharad
part 201.

I managed a short bike ride that afternoon, short being the operative word. But ten miles of sweat and panting, seemed to clear away some of the other things from my mind.

I was back before the dusk developed and wiped my bike down, then I went and showered after topping up my own fluids with a glass of isotonic drink. I had heard that drinking too much water after exercise dilutes the electrolyte balance and can cause collapse and even kidney damage. I wanted neither, I had enough problems at the present.

I dried and dressed, wearing a dress Stella had given me. "Sis I was going to offer to do your hair, but you look better in that dress than I ever did, so you can do your own." To emphasise the fact she poked her tongue out at me and gave me a raspberry.

"I love you too," I said and picking up my brush and dryer, began to do my own hair.

"I'm only joking Cathy," she reached for the brush.

"I can do my own, so why don't you go and shower?"

"Okay, I know when I'm not wanted," she pretended to sulk and went off to change.

I finished drying my hair, then decided I would put it up, it was now well below my shoulders and in pretty good condition. I brushed it for a few minutes to make it shine some more, then gathered it and twisting it round a couple of times drew it up on top of my head, where I fixed it with a scrunchie and some hair clips. A bit more fiddling and I had a nice series of wisps of hair all around it, and some tendrils down the sides in front of my ears. I went and put on my makeup. The effect was okay. I suspect Stella would have done it better but then she has had training and lots more practice.

One of these days, when I have finished my degree and discovered what I'm going to do with my life, I shall have to do a course in hair and beauty. Then I might look a bit tidier some of the time.

"Oh you put it up!" exclaimed Stella when she saw me.

"Yes, it was a put up job," I said and winked. She giggled and then I did too.

"It looks okay."

"Of course it does, I had a very good teacher."

She laughed again. "Do I look okay in this?" She was wearing a Laura Ashley dress in a peach base colour with black and grey roses all over it.

"You look fabulous as always Sis, I don't think I've seen that before."

"Well I thought I'd wear it once before you get your paws on it and look even better in it."

"I don't think so Stella, you look lovely."

As we were talking Tom arrived and whistled at us both. "Wow! The boys are going to envy me tonight with one of you lovelies on each arm."

"How do you know we're not lezzies, and go in on each other's arm?" I said winking at Stella whose jaw had dropped.

"You can pay for your own meal then," he said walking into the kitchen.

"Maybe I'll stay heterosexual," I said, "it might have it's advantages."

"Make your bloody mind up," said Tom, "do I have to change my underpants this month or not?" He chuckled and I groaned at him.

"That is enough to make any woman want to be gay," said Stella making sick faces.

He went up and changed and did change his underpants even though he had no chance of displaying them to either Stella or me. I saw his dirty ones in the clothes hamper, it relieved me no end. Although I knew he was a clean, I'd done the washing often enough.

We went to a pub down by the old harbour. There were loads of people about and thankfully no one commented on my dormouse juggling, so maybe they were beginning to forget.

I was driving, so I ordered a soft drink while Stella and Tom started a bottle of red wine. While we were waiting to order the food, I asked Tom if he had a Bible.

"A Bible, what do you want one of those for?"

"No it's not for a shoogly leg on a table." My comment made him snigger. "I have to read a passage for Stevie's funeral. I'd like to see it before I read it."

"What is it?"

"St Paul's letter to the Corinthians, I think."

"Oh, faith, hope and charity."

"Is it? I had a feeling I knew it." I tried to recall anything of it, but it was a lost cause.

"I don't know if Paul actually wrote any of the stuff attributed to him, but he did have a wonderful way with the pen, pure poetry." Tom and I looked up at Stella. "I did scripture too." She sniggered then said, "Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels..."

"Gosh Stella, maybe you should be reading this, not me." I said in true humility.

"Letter to the Corinthians 13:1," I had to learn the frigging thing by heart because I threw a tampon at Maisie Plummer."

"You what?" I gasped before erupting with laughter.

"You heard me otherwise you wouldn't want me to repeat it. She'd been annoying me all afternoon, bloody know it all, and while the teacher was writing something on the board, I bent down and borrowed a tampon from Gail Gilbert who was sat in front and whose bag was hanging on the back of her chair. Well her Lillets were poking out a bit, so I borrowed one. Then while Mrs Arthur was writing on the board again, I threw it at Maisie. Scored a direct hit on the side of her head. She squeaked and the Lillet bounced off and landed at the feet of the teacher."

Tom and I were nearly wetting ourselves laughing, too helpless to ask what happened next.

"So she stopped writing on the board and asked who'd thrown it. I didn't own up but some cow grassed on me when she threatened to keep us all in detention until someone owned up. I had to learn that piece by heart and be able to recite it to her the next morning. I was up half the bloody night and the more I worried the harder it got to memorise anything except the feeling of panic."

"Did Gail ever get her tampon back?" I asked and roared with laughter again.

"She decided she didn't want it after all that."

We ordered, Stella had Dover sole and so did I. Tom had roast beef but he'd had his curry lunchtime. I suspect his gut must be either burnt to shreds or absolutely pristine with no bugs whatsoever.

The meal was good and we each recited bits of poetry we could remember. In my school it Masefield and Browning, Stella did a quick chorus of Daffodils and another Wordsworth, while Tom recited a great lump of Longfellow and capped it with almost all of the Charge of the Light Brigade, 'Half a league, half a league, half a league onwards.'

Some one on the next table started quoting bits of Shakespeare, so I just had to do my party piece, the Hamlet soliloquy, 'To be or not to be, that is the question....' I made the mistake of standing up to do it, and the whole restaurant applauded when I'd finished. I'd kept my eyes closed to help me concentrate. I blushed like a billiard ball.

A woman walked up and spoke to us. "Thanks for a lovely entertainment, your Hamlet was lovely although I can see you more as Ophelia than Hamlet."

My response was to blush again.

"Look, I help to run the local am-dram, if ever you decide you want to have a try out for one of our productions, please let me know. We have some good youngsters playing our female leads, but I think you could give 'em a run for their money."

"I played Mary in the Christmas Nativity Play*," I said trying to keep a straight face.

Tom sprayed wine all over the table and choked for half a minute when I said this. The woman, Alison Mann, was horrified at his table manners. But then she didn't know what he did about my being one of the first boy Virgin Marys in the UK.

When she'd gone, I said to Stella, "I don't know about acting, you should have been a stand up comic."

"Yeah, maybe one day."

%%%%%
For those wishing to see what happened in the Nativity Play see the link below.

*http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/41235/nativity-play