Easy As Falling Off A Bed.
by Angharad.
part 20 dozen.

I limped back to bed.

"What's up with you?" said Simon noticing my shuffling gait.

"I think I pulled something weeing."

"What like the flush?" he chuckled to himself.

"Ha bloody ha, no a bit of me."

"I thought you had the bit you used to pull, cut off."

"Simon this isn't funny, it hurts."

"Oh, do you want me to look?"

"Well I can't see it myself, except in a mirror."

"Keep your hair on." He went looking in the bedside cabinet for my mirror passing it to me a few moments later.

I pulled down my panties and there was a small bloodstain on them. "Either I'm having a period or something has happened."

"Wow, that is very different to the previous arrangement."

"How do you know, you didn't see the previous one."

"I know but I have some familiarity with the usual set up of meat and two veg."

"Is there something you want to tell me, Simon?"

"Yeah, I can see where the blood is coming from." He pointed at a tiny blob of blood. Looks like you've popped a stitch."

"I hope that isn't important."

"Ask Stella in the morning."

"I mean, I don't want it all to fall out."

"It doesn't look like it's going to."

"Since when are you an expert on gynaecology."

"I've done the odd examination, if you must know."

"You've done exams in gynaecology?"

"I have given exams, rather than taken them."

I stopped to think about what he'd said. "Ha ha! So in your expert opinion, does this look like it's supposed to?"

"Doesn't it just, a bit swollen still, but yes. I'm itching for it."

"If you're itching, you're not coming near me, I don't want to catch anything."

"Sometimes you are so funny, Cathy. Alas that wasn't one of them."

"I'm not taking any notice of you and your total lack of a sense of humour, Simon."

"Ouch! That was below the belt girl."

"So is where you are still looking."

"It's still bleeding slightly."

"Oh sh - ugar!"

"Hang on, I have a styptic pencil in my shaving kit." He scurried into the bathroom, returning with a leather zip up case, from which he extracted a funny looking stick thing, a bit like a crystaline lip stick. He pressed it against the spot of blood and I felt it sting.

"Ouch, cor that stings."

"Yeah, but the bleeding has stopped."

"Thank you."

"I'd kiss it better for you but I suspect you'd complain."

"When it's healed I won't."

"I might hold you to that. I suppose it feels better than the glue job?"

"Now it's beginning to settle down it does. The nerves and the repositioning aren't quite in sync yet."

"What d'you mean?"

"I mean a few minutes ago it felt like I had an erection."

"You what!" A look of astonishment suffused his face.

"That's what I mean."

A moment later he began to laugh and at that point I pushed him off the bed.

A little later, as I cuddled into him, I asked him a question. "Simon, am I female enough for you now? I mean you've seen it now, so will it do?"

"You were female enough for me before. Now you are simply beautiful. Is that enough compliments or do you need more?"

"I wasn't fishing for compliments, Simon, I'm dealing with my inadequacies, or trying to."

"Go to sleep girly, I have to go to work in the morning."

"Will you still take me up to see my dad on Saturday?"

"If I haven't collapsed with exhaustion from lack of sleep."

"Sorry."

"Go to sleep."

"Simon?"

"What now?"

"I love you."

"For God's sake go to sleep."

"Don't you love me?"

"Not anymore, you won't let me sleep."

"Oh...."

"Will you shut up woman!"

"Oh okay." Seemed like I needed to have the last word. As he pulled me tightly to him, I held his hand in both of mine and smiled to myself.

I woke up and was alone again. It was eight o'clock, I weed and washed and went downstairs. Stella was reading the paper. "Hi," she said without looking up.

"I popped a stitch last night."

"What sort of stitch?" she asked looking up from the paper.

"Can you look and check I don't need to see Mr O'Rourke again?"

"Sure." We went upstairs and she gave me a good look. "I think it's okay, it's very superficial anyway. Just be careful when you play with yourself later."

"Should I leave it off for a day?"

"Certainly not, thinking about you having to do that every day, is about the only consolation I get these days."

"That's not very nice," I said pouting.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"How did you mean it then?"

She blushed and said, "Well at least one of us is getting some action." She was lying and we both knew it.

"Be my guest," I said reaching for the plastic dilator and offering it to her.

"I'm trying to give them up!" she said and hurriedly left my room. I know I shouldn't have laughed, but I did and enjoyed it.

"If you tidy up my hair, I'll pay for us to go and have some lunch." Stella looked up from her newspaper again.

"Go and wash it then, I'll get my stuff."

I went off and showered and after dressing quickly, I met her in the kitchen. She put a cape thing around me and began combing and snipping. Then she dried it and although I couldn't see it I knew it would be good, it felt good.

"Thanks," I said as I pulled off the cape. She got out the vacuum cleaner and sucked up all the mess from the floor. "Where do you want to go for lunch."

"How about that pub, Tom goes to most days."

"Yeah, it's quite good food. You okay to drive?"

"Guess I'll have to be, you can't yet."

I put on some makeup, jewellery and my watch and grabbing my coat and bag followed Stella out to her new car. I'd had one or two rides in it, and thought it was really nice. So did she, Simon had hit the bull's eye in his choice. Mind you, I was quite pleased with my little Golf, even if it was only on hire pro tem.

"So is the hair okay?"

"It looks great, thanks again, Stella."

"You realise I'm going to have the dearest thing on the menu?"

"I hadn't but it doesn't entirely surprise me. Do you like a ten ounce steak then?"

"Is that the dearest item?"

"I think so."

"Oh bum! I was hoping it would be something exotic."

"What like Chilli con carne?"

"That's hardly exotic!" she laughed.

"It is for the pubs round here, one place I went to thought lasagne was a foreign language."

"I wonder if they do veggie chilli con carne."

"How can they do that?"

"They use soya instead of meat."

"Wouldn't that be chilli sans carne?"

"Oh, I see what you mean, of course, con carne is with meat."

"Fraid so. You going veggie?"

"I do occasionally, just for a change, too much meat isn't good for you."

"So how come the Dutch are the tallest nation in Europe, they eat meat?"

"How do I know? Let's go and eat, oh look there's Tom. Yoohoo Tom," she called changing the subject.