Easy As Taking Candy From A Baby
by:Bonzi 'n 'er.
part:257.

One of the things I love about Simon is, that he forgives and forgets so quickly. I wonder if his short term memory is impaired but otherwise he remembers things, though I suppose that could be due to his Blackberry.

The next morning he winced when he dried himself in a certain place, but he didn't hold it against me - probably too tender! I had to smirk but managed to do it unseen by him.

The hotel suite was gorgeous, a bedroom, bathroom and sittingroom. We have it for a week while the repairs are made at Tom's place. I have no idea what state the cottage is in, it's weeks since I've seen it and if you remember, Stella and I were going to visit it the day before when the manure hit the environment control.

The bank is paying for our stay because they were responsible for the attack on us, as employees of theirs. In some ways, I feel that's correct, I hadn't declared war on Russia so it wasn't a personal thing on my part. I am however, thinking of withdrawing our ambassador because it's too much that foreign thugs can push their way into one's house and then run off with one's arrows.

As I sat in my comfortable bathrobe eating my breakfast grapefruit and melon fruit salad, I asked Simon if he thought I would be prosecuted.

"I dunno, if one of them dies I suppose it could happen."

"I was only exercising my right to self defence."

"I know that but with deadly force, it's always iffy."

"They had automatic weapons. They came prepared to kill."

"Were you?"

"When I fired the arrows, I didn't actually think about anything but reducing the threat."

"So you were trying to maim or kill?"

"I was trying to eliminate a threat. I didn't fire at anyone who didn't have a weapon."

"You did have the advantage of night vision goggles."

"Yeah, a bow and arrow against Mausers or whatever they were using."

"But a compound bow."

I poked my tongue out at him and he tried to grab it. I jumped back.
"Do you realise if I'd had anything but target arrows, we could well have been looking at three corpses. That first guy I hit, the arrow could well have gone right through him."

"Oh come on Cathy, it's a bow not a Colt magnum."

"You haven't seen the power of a compound bow. With razor sharp barbed arrows, it would have made a real mess." I shuddered, glad that I didn't have access to that sort of weapon. With a shotgun, I'd probably have also killed three times. It didn't bear thinking about.

What was happening to me? I'm not a fighter, I'm a girly girl, more adept with makeup than firearms, so how do I get into these situations? Yet on reflection, if I'd gone all girly I'd have been kidnapped and possibly murdered twice.

What is wrong with the world, when it allows thugs to wander roughshod over anyone? I felt angry again. I needed to see Dr Thomas.

At half past eight I called her office and spoke to the receptionist. I explained that an emergency had arisen and I needed to see her as soon as I could. the receptionist took my mobile number and told me she would ask her to ring me back.

I had dressed and applied minimal makeup when my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hello Cathy, it's Anne Thomas, you needed to speak with me?"

"Yes, thanks for calling back. I had a couple of incidents over the last couple of days."

"What happened?"

"Some Russian mafiosi tried to abduct me twice, the second time they came with guns and shot up the house."

"What Tom Agnew's lovely old farmhouse?"

"Yes," I felt the tears returning and I tried to sniff them back.

"Was anyone hurt?"

"I shot three of them."

"What the bad guys?"

"Yes, with a compound bow."

"What's that when it's at home?" She asked and I explained quickly.
"Are they dead?"

"Two were taken away by ambulance, still alive, one was quite badly wounded...actually both were."

"This was self defence?"

"Yes, they had guns and seemed intent on killing us. They didn't even ask us to surrender."

"Were you trying to kill them?"

"Yes and no, yes I suppose I was....does that make me a dreadful woman?"

"How do you feel about it?"

"I don't know, I feel a bit numb. Part of me is horrified by what happened and how I responded. Part of me realises that I'm only here because I did what I did."

"You need to keep that in mind. Try not to think about the emotional stuff if you can help it, focus on the positive, you did what was necessary. Look I'm tied up all day, but I'd like to see you about six if that's possible. I'm also going to invite a colleague Rob Redhead, he's a psychologist who works with the police."

"I don't know, they're talking about charging me with assault with a deadly weapon with intent to wound or kill."

"He helps coppers who've been traumatized by terrible incidents, accidents, murders and so on. He won't be there to criticise but to help me do what is best for you."

"Okay. I'll be there at six."

She rang off and I was left contemplating the unfairness if I'm charged with attempted murder or whatever, because I was trying to kill them, or at least I was shooting to kill. I'm ashamed of it now, but I have the luxury of the time to reflect upon it. If they'd succeeded, I suspect that wouldn't have happened.

Simon had gone to see Henry and a little later, while I was busy trying to rewrite some of the survey protocols, they both arrived at the hotel.

"Cathy darling," Henry rushed over to me and hugged me almost to death, kissing me several times on the cheeks. "Simon tells me you saved the day again."

"Not really, the police did that."

"But you took three of them out of the fight."

"I helped to, yes."

"According to the police, both of those thugs have serious injuries and have necessitated surgery. They'll both live and I hope we deport them."

"Won't they be tried here first?"

"Probably, but I shall lobby for sending them back to the Russian authorities where they are also wanted for all sorts of gruesome crimes."

"They killed one of their own, he was in a hospital."

"I believe you put him there."

"Not entirely, Pippa my secretary helped to dent his skull with a flower planter."

"He's still alive."

"What, you said he was dead."

"That was what I was told, he'd been shot by them as well as receiving injuries via the university ninja squad."

"Ha ha!" I didn't find that particularly funny.

"He's still pretty ill and may not make it. We want him to testify against his colleagues, which given their attempt to kill him, he might just do."

"I doubt it."

"We'll threaten him with you, if he doesn't cooperate."

"Henry that is sick, I'm just a feeble female."

"Who dropped him like a sack of coal."

"Says who?"

"Two eyewitnesses. We have statements."

"Who's we?"

"Our legal team, if they charge you, we'll make them look rather silly."

"I can't afford barristers, they cost a fortune."

"The ones we use do, but that is the bank's responsibility. You were targets because you are working for us and marrying into us. So you are one of us."

"So if I wasn't, they wouldn't keep trying to kill me?"

"Sorry Cathy, as far as they are concerned you are a marked woman."

"Will it ever end?"

"Very soon, the civil war between the gangs is almost at a climax and our guys should win."

"I'm not sure what I think about that."

"It's the only way Cathy, either that or keep an army of bodyguards around you all the time. If the one wipes out the other, end of problem."

"But they are all criminals," I protested.

"Some of them are actually undercover police and some are ordinary police, some are also bent coppers, but so long as it stops them chasing us, I really don't care. I am tired of being a target for any old Russian with a peashooter, just because I wouldn't allow the bank to launder his dirty money and resisted the takeover. So I'm fighting back the only way I can, encouraging dog to eat dog but making sure ours is in good condition and has the bigger teeth."

"How is Stella?"

"Resting, she was very shocked by the abduction, and got a bit roughed up. However, she's a tough cookie and will come through it. So I still have my two favourite girls."

"Shouldn't Monica feature in there somewhere?" I asked with my face blazing.

"She's my favourite woman."

"Oh! But Stella and I are both over twenty one." I felt a bit indignant on one level.

"Pish, I'm nearly sixty, you're still kids to me."

"Okay Henry, you win." I shrugged.

"He always does," said Simon, who was reading the local paper. "Seems like the 'Gunfight at the OK Corral' got in the local rag."

"What did they say?" I asked looking at him in astonishment.

" 'Shots were heard from a farmhouse on the outskirts of town for over an hour last night. Police eventually dealt with the offenders, who were thought to be a local gang who were squabbling amongst themselves in the field alongside the house, probably over drugs.

The occupants of the house fired a shotgun in defence of the property and the police were called. It took them an hour or more for an armed response unit to round up and disarm the offenders.

Five people were arrested, two of them with severe wounds. They are expected to be charged with possession of firearms amongst other offences, later today.'

So there you have it."

"No mention of the Russian mafia, or Tom or us?"

"If they did, we'd have the nationals down here and then we'd have them digging and stirring things up again. We're trying to let them forget so they leave us in peace, not pieces," offered Henry.

"What happens if they don't forget?" I asked knowing in my heart what the answer was.

"Enjoy yourself, life could be a finite object."

"Gee, thanks, Henry, and all because I fell for a banker's son."

"Yes, we're all a bunch of bankers!" said Simon and Henry and I groaned.