Easy As Viagra Falls,
by Angharad
part 221.
It was dark by the time Simon came for me, I had stayed with the two little girls until the police took them off to social services. I hoped they had a father to look after them.
My car had been taken away, although I had managed to take all my stuff out of it. I was waiting where the police had dumped me, at a motorway services on the M4.
Simon hugged me and held me tight while I dissolved in tears in his arms. My Christmas had been completely spoilt, I could have been killed and my car was wrecked because some fools couldn't drive to the conditions. They keep making cars faster and faster, what we need are cars that won't go faster than their drivers can think, which means walking pace for most.
I fell asleep in the car, holding Paddington, who was my regular and uncomplaining passenger. Somehow he'd lost a wellie and that set me off crying again.
We met Tom at the hospital, where he was entertaining Stella with tall tales. She looked much better and we hoped she'd be home by new year, not that I was after her bed of course.
We decided we would postpone Christmas until Stella came home. If that was after New Year's Day, then it would be postponed until I got home. I'd have been happy to cancel it altogether, I didn't think there could have been a worse one in my short history, and then one thinks to a few years ago and the tsunami.
Tom followed us back to his house, his Landrover chugging along behind producing more pollution than a Chinese power station. Parked in the drive was a brand new Ford Fiesta. I presumed it was Stella's Christmas present from Simon. It had a big pink bow tied in the huge ribbon around it.
I saw it thought of my own little car, now destined for a breaker's yard and burst into tears again. Simon hugged me and muttered something about insurance.
"What?"
"We'll get you another with the insurance money."
"I just feel sick that some arsehole could wreck it without a thought, just because they were driving too fast. I hope they died."
"That's not very charitable, is it?"
"I don't feel charitable. Some moron has completely spoiled my Christmas and killed other people, and you expect me to be charitable. The way I feel about them, I'd switch off their life support systems."
"I don't believe I heard you say that, Cathy. You told me that you stood around with two little ones until someone in authority took them off your hands, and now you want to go around killing people.
"That accident was caused by one bad driver."
"No, Cathy, it was caused by several drivers reacting badly to the weather. One driver couldn't have caused that many to crash, it must have involved several doing stupid things."
"Even I did, staying in the car."
"If that was the case, you'd be one of the casualties, not just your car."
"Only because you told me to get out of the car."
"I have heard too many stories of people being killed while sat in vehicles on the hard shoulder. I remember some old lady telling me she went on a coach trip up to the Lake District. They went to Blackpool as one of the trips, on the way back to the hotel while driving on the M6, their coach broke down.
Eventually, a relief bus arrived and they transferred to it, except the driver, who had to wait for the break down truck. While he was waiting an Asda truck ran into the back of him. It was dark but clear. If a supposed profesional driver couldn't see a coach, probably lit up like a Christmas tree, on a clear night, what chance your little car in the rain?"
"They need governors on cars, they go too fast."
"The cars are neutral, it's the nuts behind the wheel which are a problem."
"Yes, but people can't be trusted to drive carefully, especially young men. They shouldn't be allowed to drive until they are thirty."
"How long have you been in the Taliban?"
"What?"
"You heard me, you're talking like those self righteous monsters in Afghanistan."
"Am I? Oh, sorry, but someone did nearly kill me this morning."
"Come on, it's Christmas, let's not fight." He pulled me to face him and I apologised, I felt absolutely overwrought. He hugged me and we kissed.
"I love you Simon Cameron," I said, then I kissed him again, "Merry Christmas, light of my life."
"Wow, Merry Christmas to you, the woman I adore," he kissed me, "and with whom I intend to spend the rest of my life."
"Come on you two lovebirds," called Tom, "and shut the bloody door, it's freezing in here."
"My boss has such a way with words," I said and we both laughed as we entered the house.
"We have a slight problem, I've left your present in the lounge," said Simon.
"No Simon, it can't be my present, my present is out here."
He looked at me, what are you talking about?"
"You said you'd left my present. That would actually be past tense."
"What? Are you mad?"
"Completely, apparently it's a requirement to be engaged to you."
"Absolutely," he said and laughed. "I don't get some of your jokes, too clever by half."
"Yes, I remember the first time we went out, you didn't get half of them then."
"Didn't I?" He frowned. "Are you sure?"
"Completely, ask Stella if you don't believe me."
"She'd say yes anyway."
"Thanks, that does a lot for my credibility."
"Are you two going to argue until Easter, or are you coming in having a drink and watching the telly?"
"We'll be in in a moment Tom."
"Are you going to clear up this mess, or are you going to give it to her now?"
"She can see it now, but she has to wait until Stella comes home to play with it."
My stomach churned, I hoped it wasn't a computer, much as I could probably do with another, I wanted to buy my own.
"Close your eyes and keep them closed," said Simon, taking my hand. He walked me a few paces, then said, "Okay, you can open them now."
I looked around, there before me was a complete bike repair centre, two stands, a full tool kit, a wheel building and truing set, everything you could think of, all made by Park Tools. Hundreds of pounds worth.
"Simon, I can't accept all this," my eyes filling with tears.
"You'd better had, because I've lost the receipt."
"It's too much Simon, you spoil me."
"I got it cheap, special deal, looks more than it is."
"Simon, don't tell such fibs."
"Don't you like it?"
"I love it, it's absolutely wonderful."
"So where's the problem?"
"The pair of socks I got you is going to look so inadequate in comparison." I looked very sad, and Tom snorted red wine all over himself. He knew about the pen.
Simon looked suspiciously at him, then at me. "The thing I need most in the world right now, is a new pair of socks."
"Well they are candy pink." I was lying, they were actually plain black except for the word, 'Pringle' embroidered on them, and the pen set shoved down inside them.
"My favourite colour," he said calling my bluff.
"Oh good," I said and smiled smugly at him. Wow, Park Tools, there'd be no end to the damage I could do dissecting bikes with this lot! I'd have to get on a course now, to learn how to take Campag's apart and put 'em back together, and also the flight deck changers for Shimano. I knew what I'd be doing once I was semi mobile from my op!
Comments
Easy 221
Hi,
I hope that Cathy has some socks for Simon or he will be very disappointed. Actually, I could see someone getting socks for Henry, but Simon seems too young to look forward to something like that.
A great chapter, and yes, I would agree about standing away from the car. Only broke down once on the motorway, and being so close to traffic, I was glad to stand on the verge even in the rain.
Hugs
Karen
Sounds like socks are part...
... of Simons gift to me.
>>"Well they are candy pink." I was lying, they were actually plain black except for the word, 'Pringle' embroidered on them, and the pen set shoved down inside them.<<
Black socks with the word "Pringle" embroidered... But that's neither here nor there, well, maybe there.
Angharad, I do thank you for the safety tip there. I've known someone who safely stopped - avoiding an accident, as did the person behind him - but, the idiot that plowed into THAT car, pushed it into my friends... What is it that causes people to loose what little sense they have, when they sit behind the wheel of a car?
Thanks,
Annette
Lady Cathy Has Roared
I can quite understand her anger at the scoundrel that caused the accident. True, it is quite unlike her normal self, but then again, almost becoming a traffic fatality can cause anybody to go bonkers. I am looking forward to when Stella returns and we can once again see Kiki get into trouble for some reason or another.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Non-starters
If cars were set to go no faster than the driver was capable of, most would never even start. Somebody call Al Bore! With a little work we can turn this into a 30 Billion government-sponsored boondoggle. Remember, every time something is made fool-proof, God comes up with a better fool.
Karen, Cathy did get socks for Simon, she mentions the pen is stuffed down inside. But I didn't know Pringles sold socks, I thought they just did canned potato chips?
Is Simon taking up mindreading as a new skill, in case the banking job falls through? How did he know Cathy wanted a bike workshop, we only found out ourselves yesterday!
Karen J.
"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"
Janis Joplin
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Pringle
A maker, I believe Scottish, of high quality woolen goods.
spot on!
especially of sweaters and socks etc. beloved of golfers.
Angharad
Angharad
I don't think so!
Simon, a golfer? Nah, never happen! But all those flat areas where the dormice hang out would make splendid courses.
K
"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"
Janis Joplin
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Salty Scots
Soooooo, like, do the sweaters n' socks come in convenient little cans, too? ;)
I can definitely see Cathy going off on a rant against idiot drivers as the tension, adrenalin & emotions work their way out of her system...
Good to see Simon's really getting to understand her, then again, it wouldn't take rocket science to figure out she's a hands on kinda gal n'woulda loved to do her own work on her bikes....then again, does she talk in her sleep?
Story's goin' strong - will continue to wait impatiently for Stella to get off her butt n' join the festivities....
YW
He conquers who endures. ~ Persius
Lets keep politics out of this
There is a little monkey in the White House one could mention.
Eventually
Almost all control will have to be taken away from the operator. We are getting closer to driving by wire. The technology is already in place to take away speeding over the posted limit. Cars fuel systems today are controlled by on board computers. Speed limit signs could actually communicate the speed limit (and that is an upper limit, not a lower limit like most are doing) and the computer in the vehicle could limit the speed of the car regardless how far the operator depressed the pedal. Furthermore, sensors in the front could let the computer know the operator was getting too close to the vehicle in front and decrease the amount of fuel to the engine or even apply braking if needed to keep a safe distance. It is so simply to keep the proper distance in time, stay 2 seconds behind. Pick a landmark, and count 1001, 1002 and see if you reach the landmark before the end of the count.
Don't forget it's Double Nelson…
…tomorrow—222. Best try to keep your feet off the ground, Ang!
Hugs,
Gabi
(I wonder what our ’merican cousins will think about that.)
Gabi.
Knots & TV
Isn't a double nelson a knot? Or is it a wrestling hold? Never been good with the first, but the other can be a bit of fun, depending on who your opponent is. ;)
But 222 was an old TV show from back when I was, cough-cough, very young. Several episodes featured another lovely and talented Karen (hmm, must be a requirement that goes with the name), Karen Valentine.
Karen J.
"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"
Janis Joplin
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
It's all to do with cricket and…
…darts scores. Check out:–
http://www.aboutnelson.co.uk/trivia.htm
or
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/111_(number)
and all will be revealed.
Gabi.
(Half asleep and heading for bed)
Gabi.
A Nelson
is a cricketing slang for 111 runs by a batsman, so called because Horatio Nelson had, one eye and one arm and one child! It's considered unlucky because they often get themselves out on it, assuming they haven't managed it earlier.
So a double Nelson, would be....work it out for yourselves. The wrestling holds as far as I remember, were a half Nelson, and a full Nelson. Dunno why they are so called, don't think it's to do with our naval hero as he was only a little guy and when he wasn't destroying French and Spanish fleets, was hopelessly sea sick!
Archetypal British hero, gets himself killed at the height of his success. Same with General Wolfe at Quebec.
Angharad
Angharad
A double Nelson?
Isn't that Ozzie and Harriet?
Commentator
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Re: A double Nelson?
Either than, Commentator; or it might be David and Ricky! ;-)
Jenny
Hey, I was gonna say that, Karen
Karen Valentine, oh, there was a real cute gal with serious cleavage, Karen_J! Room 222 was canceled after a couple seasons in part because the highschool they used for the exterior shots had to be torn down ofter an early 1970's earthquake severely damaged it.
The few times I have had a break down on the road I got off as far to the edge of the ditch as I could and if possible got out the passenger door and away from it up the other side of the ditch.
Park Tools, I have some, good quality. It's so much easier to maintain a bike when you have decent tools. Need to get back on my two bikes one of these days.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
Re: Karen Valentine
The poster who originally mentioned Karen Valentine said she appeared in some episodes of Room 222. In fact, she appeared in all 113 episodes of the show, which ran from 1969 until 1974 (Lloyd Haynes, Michael Constantine and Denise Nicholas were the only other cast members to appear in all 113 episodes)!
As for calling her "cute", to quote Karen herself, "I hate that word! It's the most awful word in the language."
Jenny
Angahard, Getting out of the
Angahard,
Getting out of the car and away from it is excellent advice. I once assisted a Washington State Trooper at an accident scene on Interstate 5 (after identifying myself and my roommate as Air Force "Cops") by laying road flares to guide other vehicles AWAY from the middle lane where the accident (car on its top) was located to the median side lane. We were trying to keep the shoulder lane and accident lane open for emergency vehicles. The Trooper had us helping him lay out flares from the shoulder all the way to the median in a large triangle shape. He told me and my roommate if we saw any trucks bearing down on us to RUN from the flares to the shoulder grass. Just after he stated that, a truck did plow straight into all the flares and right into the back of the Trooper's patrol car destroying it! By the way the weather was totally clear at the time, tho at night, and the truck's estimated speed was in excess of 85 mph.(about 140 kph) in a 60 mph (100 kph) zone.
I might add, the patrol car was sitting there (on the shoulder) with ALL lights flashing. Needless to say the Trooper was not a "happy camper" and we were all very lucky that none of us got injured by this, as it turned out, very intoxicated driver.
My hat is off to you Angahard for giving out this advice to all your fans and readers, it could very easily save a life later. Janice Lynn
Warning lights
It's been fairly well-documented that drivers at night will "fixate" on flashing lights and unconsciously steer toward them, intoxicated drivers are even more likely to do so. Never happened to me, but one of my brother officers was run down while directing traffic with his yellow-coned flashlight after a high school football game. John tended to be very jumpy after that, not always a favorable trait in a man 6'1" armed with a 9mm pistol.
K
"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"
Janis Joplin
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
The Story Just Keeps on Getting Better!
Thank you, once again, for keeping me so well entertained. I wish I knew a better (more entertaining?) way to say it.
Yours from the Great White North, (It`s not snowing tonight: it`s too cold. It`a minus 17 and headed for **really cold**).
Jenny Grier (Mrs.)
x
Yours from the Great White North,
Jenny Grier (Mrs.)
Socks?
Her imagination knows no bounds, Ang.
Still, what do you get the man who apparently has everything?
NB
Fiery Automobile Accidents
Ang, I don't know whether to stop reading this story (don't worry, I won't!), but it does bring back memories of someone I did not know, who died a horrible death in a burning car, and it involved not one, but two drunken drivers.(Subject to correction!)
Katie (not her real name) was a police officer in a large town in NE Okla. and had stopped a car near 51st and Yale at night for erratic driving. Needless to say, he was drunk. She placed him under arrest, then along with his drivers license, insurance info, etc, went back to her patrol car, which was behind the one she stopped, to begin the paperwork. The vehicle's police lights were blinking and flashing, and then, out of seemingly nowhere, another drunk driver ran a red light at the intersection, and crashed into the rear of her vehicle at a speed of greater than 50 mph. All doors were jammed as a result of the collision, the gas tank immediately caught fire, and as she had no way to escape, was literally burned to death. She was one of several Policemen/women in the city who lost their lives in the city that year in the line of duty. My statement of what happened is probably not exactly what happened, but she did stop one vehicle on a violation and while she was in her own patrol car, was struck in the rear, doors were jammed, and the gas tank exploded. This is a true event, and if any want details, I think I can provide them. Just contact me off site, and I will do what I can to provide further information via email to your email. BTW this happened about 25 years or so ago, and there have been several changes in auto gas tanks and potential for explosion and fire as a result of this incident.
As I say, I didn't know her, but I do know a City Policeman who did. Other than this, I will not discuss this further except on a one to one, off site.
Sorry Ang, but I had to tell this story. I have numerous friends who are either local city policemen, members of the Sheriffs Department, or State Troopers in several states, I have the utmost respect for them, and their job. They are grossly underpaid for putting their lives on the line every time they report for duty, and everytime I see any law enforcement vehicle, I issue a silent prayer on their behalf to have a SAFE DAY, because if they have a SAFE DAY, then it has been a good day, regardless of what else happens on their watch.
What Simon told Cathy to do, and that she responded before the ultimate crash into her vehicle means more to me than most can probably imagine. Our law enforcement agencies in both the US and UK, and probably lots of other places also, do lots more than just stop a lawbreaker, and the deaths within their ranks are usually our fault, no theirs,so lets give them all the deserving kudos they deserve, and lots more, for what they do...crooked cops need not apply.
Thanks again Ang! I am not much on crying, but I went thru 2 boxes of Puffs writing, backspacing, correcting, erasing and revising sentences. Complete the story of your accident as you will, but please give the proper credit to the policemen/bobbies/ or whoever, who investigate this one. It is not an easy job.
Don't let someone else talk you out of your dreams. How can we have dreams come true, if we have no dreams?
Katrina Gayle "Stormy" Storm
Mechanic
I'm going to bring Cathy my Columbia (1968) with custom Shimano 10 speed derailleur for a tune up. (antique?)
What about poor Stella ? no little gift for her.
Cefin