Easy As Falling Off A Bank
by Angharad y Peswch.
part:300-5 and counting.

We parted from Melvin who thoroughly enjoyed his 'friend's' discomfort. As we got in the car, Simon said, "I hadn't realised you were such a tease."

"I wouldn't have said boo to a goose before I met you and Stella."

"That is Stella mainly, I'm only a positive influence," he gave me such a false smile that I slapped him on the arm.

"Sure, I suppose it was Stella who told my aunt that we were married, and so on."

"Probably, do I know your aunt?" I hit him again, "Oh that one, well how am I to remember all your family, I mean you peasants have such large ones."

"Actually some of us proles, come from relatively small ones, silver spoon gob!"

"Oh you cut me to the quick! My spoon was pure white gold, you know irridium added."

"What 24 carat irridium?"

"No you silly girl!" he shook his head as we drove towards my father's house. I still thought of it as his or my parents, even though, it would soon belong to me for at least two years.

I suppose it could provide me with a bolt hole if a I needed one, though hopefully, I had one already with Tom, for whom I felt so much filial affection.

"Goodness, I haven't told Margaret and Gregg Soames!"

"Who are they?"

"She kept an eye on Daddy after Mummy died, she sort of kept an eye on the house too. She's okay, although went a bit strange after I told her what I was. He doesn't know and is such a lech."

"Where do they live?"

"A few doors down."

"What from your house?"

"My parent's house, yes."

"It's your house now babes, a woman of property. I'm impressed."

"The will isn't proven yet."

"That's simply a technicality, or so your legal bloke said."

"He's not mine, he was my father's solicitor."

"Well, it may be worth keeping him in mind if you need to do anything local, like selling it."

"I can't for two years can I?"

"No and by then you might have changed your mind anyway."

"I know why he did that..."

"In case we fell out?"

".... because people often sell on bereavement and regret it. What!" My heart flipped, "Do you think that's a possibility Simon?"

"How do I know, I barely understand my own mind let alone the female variety."

"But from how you feel about the relationship yourself?"

"I dunno, do I?"

"I don't know what you think either." Was he trying to tell me something? I had to know. "So are we still secure and engaged."

"What!" he stamped on the brakes probably taking thousands of miles off the tyres.

"Like I said, are we still engaged?"

"As far as I know, why are you wanting out?" A car beeped from behind us and Simon muttered something highly offensive under his breath.

"No of course not, that's why I was asking. I love you Simon Cameron which is why I want to be sure we're still okay."

Being the strong silent type, he said nothing but grabbed me and kissed me firmly but passionately. In the background I could hear several cars tooting at us, but I didn't care.

Just then a knock on the window caused us both to jump. A policeman was stooping at the window. "What's going on here?"

"She seemed sort of breathless so I was giving her some artificial respiration, officer. I think she'll be okay now."

I blushed profusely, the young copper shook his head, "Go on get out of 'ere."

Simon thanked him and we drove off. Once we were suitably far away from the scene of our 'crime' we both sighed and I began to giggle almost uncontrollably.

Finally back at the house, I had to go and clean off my makeup, the mascara had run. I did it again and then told Simon we should go and see Margaret and Gregg.

"Why don't we invite them over for dinner?" was his reply.

"I don't want him sniffing around me all night."

"Well tell him about your op."

"What!" I felt my temper and blood presure rising at about the same rate. I was heading for a stroke or an attempted murder charge.

"Oh, okay, don't tell him."

"For all I know, his wife has told him."

"In which case he shouldn't be all over you then."

"On the other hand, I think she found it ironic that he was drooling over someone who used to be a boy. In fact at that time, I suppose I was still one on a technical basis."

Simon stood up and grabbed me, he held me scarily tightly. "Listen to me." I felt a little anxious at his strength of grip, "I don't care what sort of body you had before, you were never a boy, okay!"

I looked into his eyes, "Simon, you're hurting me," I whimpered.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to," he blushed and let me go.

I rubbed my arms where they would almost certainly be bruised tomorrow. I wondered what he was thinking when he said it, was he convincing himself that I had always been female, except for the dangly bits, because that was what he believed or, was he trying to deny he could have been attracted to a boy and thus be at best bisexual or gay.

"Am I forgiven?"

"I suppose so, kiss me and I'll let you know for sure."

Well with a challenge like that, I was engulfed in this monster hug and passionate kiss. I had to forgive him.

A little later we were knocking on The Soames' door. Actually that is incorrect, we rang the bell, but you get the picture. Gregg opened the door, "Well hello stranger," he said looking at me. I was still dressed to kill. "And who is this fine young man?" he asked looking at Simon.

"Gregg, this is Simon, my fiance."

The shook hands with vigour, I was so glad it wasn't mine that was being crushed and pumped.

"Do come in, Margaret, we have visitors."

The upshot was they were shocked but not entirely surprised at my father's demise. That took me a moment to get my head around. Gregg of course invited us to stay for dinner and before I could say we couldn't, I had some paint I needed to watch drying, Simon accepted for both of us. Maybe, I did need to get shot of him!

Simon sat with Gregg, who opened a bottle of red wine, I went out to help Margaret, well talk to her in the kitchen.

"So you're engaged?"

"Yes, he's such a lovely man."

"That is some ring."

"Yes he had it made a friend of his is a jewellery designer. It's based on some stuff my mother had."

"That cost him a bit."

"I didn't ask."

"So, he knows, does he?"

"Knows what?"

"That you're not a woman, I mean a real one. Gay is he?"

"Margaret, I am a woman and no he isn't gay. What do I have to do to prove to you that I am as much female as you now, screw Gregg, or are you worried he'd enjoy me a lot more?"

"I think you'd better leave." She snapped.

"Don't worry, I'm going, but I'd like the key back to my house if you don't mind."

She took it down off a key board on the kitchen wall and almost slapped it in my hand.

"Just because you have a vagina it doesn't make you a woman!" she spat at me.

"So I see," I spat back. She nearly exploded at that and I was watching her hands. My skirt was too tight to enable any fast footwork but if she had threatened me, I would have defended myself.

Simon was absolutely baffled as I grabbed him and dragged him away. In fact he walked up the street still clutching his glass of wine.