Twice in a
Lifetime an anthology of sequels to Chances Are |
Previously
It had begun to rain hard, and the sound of the water hitting the roof of the car took the edge off her mood; she had always loved the sound of rain against metal. But the mood remained, if subdued only a little by the soothing sounds; sounds which did little to hide her cries as she began to sob....
The Church office, a week later...
“How could I be so stupid!?” Lara looked up from her desk. A newspaper lay in front of her, quarter folded to reveal a picture of a happy couple. Rachael stepped close and picked up the paper, tossing it in the paper recycle bin in the corner of Lara’s office.
“As my dear granddaddy would say, ‘That’s a lie straight from the pit!’” She shook her head and sat down in the chair catty-corner to Lara’s and grabbed the woman’s hand.
“I thought he cared for you…you thought he cared for you… I’d be willing to be that at one time he even thought he cared for you. Not stupid by a long shot, sweetie. Just human, like everyone else."
Lara didn’t suffer from a superiority complex so much as believe everyone thought she couldn’t show any weakness or frailty. As a pastor and shepherd of the people she had grown to love, she wanted to be all she could be for them. But being all and doing all are two different things.
“I feel so useless.”
“Because you made a mistake? So I suppose this completely disqualifies you for service? Never mind the comfort you gave the Harding family last month when their niece died. Or the mother’s heart you showed to Jimmy when he found out he had cancer? Or maybe the hold-your-horses counsel you gave Louise regarding that idiot she was dating? Yeah, you’re useless alright.” Rachael was never one to hold back, but even more so, she knew Lara needed a cold dose of reality instead of a nod and a pat on the back. And Lara had come to find out she could never argue with Rachael anyway.
“You know what I mean.” Lara looked away, feeling the sting of the words that were meant to heal. Rachael leaned closer and patted her cheek; a bit less playful than she had intended; it certainly got her attention.
“Listen. Yes, I know. And as your best friend and confidante, sweetie, I can safely say that you are not…I repeat…NOT useless.
“I guess ….I’m not….”
“Listen…apart from your own disappointment with how life started, nothing matters as far as anyone else goes unless you let it. If you’re less than perfect, what does that make me? I can’t have kids, either, but….” Rachael’s voice trailed off. Stu’s memory enfolded her softly as she recalled his tenderness; a man from a big family who had been born to be a father who chose to love a woman who couldn’t have children. A man whose departure left her both richer and poorer.
“I…I know. I’m being so selfish.” Lara didn’t mean to, but she found herself looking at Rachael’s body, recalling the lack they both felt if for entirely different reasons.
“Selfish? Hell yes! But you just got hurt bad, sweetie. It’s actually okay to be a little selfish. Just don’t let it go to your head.” She patted Lara on the arm, evoking a smile out of her.
“It hurts….I think it almost hurts more than when Nan died.” She sighed. Rachael rubbed her arm softly.
“Maybe just differently. I saw the way your eyes lit up when you thought you might have a shot with Al. The same way you look when you talk about Nan… both hurt but for different reasons."
Rachael smiled warmly and rubbed Lara’s arm again. An odd sensation crossed her face as she felt her expression duplicating the look she had just described. She went to pull back and Lara looked at her. Some might have thought it too soon; that horribly dreaded rebound effect that takes place when a love dies elsewhere, in a way. But that old adage…date a friend...inserted itself in an entirely timely manner.
“I…I’m sorry.” Lara turned away, fearing her anxious stare would reveal her supreme selfishness.
“For what? For being human? Didn’t we just go over this?” Rachael shook her head; a headshake that says I’m with you and you’re okay no matter how you feel about yourself. And then she did something entirely surprising but entirely called for.
“If anyone’s being selfish it’s me. I’m taking advantage of the moment, sweetie, okay?"
“What… I don’t understa…” Lara’s protest was cut off as Rachael pulled her close and kissed her.
“Nnnn” Lara tried to speak, but Rachael would have none of it, so to speak, and continued to kiss her best friend. Her right hand reached up and touched Lara’s cheek. She had begun to cry, and the tears dripped onto Rachael’s fingers. Rachael pulled away slightly to look into Lara’s eyes.
“I fell for you the day you came to work here. I thought that I was crazy…that I was horrible for forgetting Stu’s memory. For loving another woman. For everything and anything I could think of.”
“But you….you pushed me….toward Al. Knowing that I was ….”
“Because you loved him and I love you! I’m no hero, but it was what I had to do. I couldn’t love you if I couldn’t let you go.” She choked back a sob, as if she had failed miserably in her need to see Lara’s happiness secured.
“I…I….”
Lara began to sob; the thought of actually being loved seemed so foreign to her. The love Nan bestowed on her death bed was withheld for so long that it was a hugely bitter-rather-than-sweet moment. And Al’s rejection, so to speak, had firmly cemented in her heart that she must be worthless The kiss might have softened her, but the look in Rachael’s eyes and the words from her lips caused that idea to crumble to dust. Rachael kissed her again, but this time, Lara kissed back. The first time in years that she felt both worthy and loveable; she kissed with a once dormant passion that was freed finally by the woman in front of her.
“I don’t know…” She protested. And of course she didn’t. The moment was electric and spontaneous and wonderful, but she really didn’t know if she loved Rachael the same way Rachael had apparently loved her. But in that moment, she decided that she was very much willing to find out.
A few months later....
It was a day of firsts; some long-anticipated but delayed only by a lack of opportunity rather than choice. Others were new because of a break with tradition. And one just because….
“I’m so happy for you.” Al paused and blinked back tears; somewhere Nan was looking down on the two of them and smiling. Chaisee squeezed Al’s shoulder and kissed his cheek.
“It’s time, you two.” She used her hand in a broad gesture to indicate the front of the church. For the first time in the history of the church, the senior pastor would not be performing the ceremony, but then again, it was the first time the senior pastor would be getting married. Chaisee kissed Lara on the cheek.
“Chokh dÄ«!” She smiled and walked quickly up the aisle, taking her place on the left side. Jerry nodded and Jimmy picked up his guitar and began to sing.
He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts
Rest assured this troubadour is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits, here, has caused Him to remain
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name
There is Love, there is Love.
Al squeezed Lara’s elbow and they walked slowly down the aisle. Only a few seconds in eternity, perhaps, but a moment in time that would live forever. Rachael stepped closer to the middle of the platform as Callie took her bouquet. She reached down and took Lara’s hand as the two enjoyed what would be only the first of ‘second chances’ for them both.
As two shall leave their families to make another home
And they shall travel on to where the two shall be as one.
As it was in the beginning is now and til the end
As two women draw from one another and give it back again.
And there is Love, there is Love.
Well then what's to be the reason for the two becoming one?
Is it life that brings you here or life that brings you love?
And if loving is the answer, then who's the giving for?
Do you believe in something that you've never seen before?
Oh there is Love, there is Love.
Oh the marriage of your spirits here has caused Me to remain
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in My name
There am I, there is Love. *
Next: Alicia’s Kiss
The Wedding Song
(There is Love)
Words and Music by
Noel Paul Stookey
*Lyrics adapted by
Andrea Lena DiMaggio
As performed by Miss Petula Clark
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRQdh7sgjjE
Comments
Well told
from the first sentence to the last I was charmed by this story.
Goddess Bless you
Love Desiree
The first time in years that she felt both worthy and loveable
And that's what I'm slowly starting to feel too. Which is a pretty big miracle, if you ask me.
A Celebration of Today
This is frustrating having to have to rewrite my comments. Anyway, coincidence or not, you wrote a wonderful tale that the ignorant Bachmans will never understand. You have it right. They don't.
Portia
There Is Love
You are so good with these vignettes, and Petula Clark resonates with my childhood and youth. Delightful,
I get all mushy inside,
Joanne
A treatise (used in the obsolete form) on hope...
Well, as many romantic notions as I hold dear, I'm a bit obsolete myself. You chose one of my favorite songs too. Though being an old folk singer, I prefer the Peter, Paul, and Mary version found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZbhrO4IEtI But either way, the sentiment is perfect. Paul, (Noel) Paul Stookey, wrote it, as you know.
I love your adaptation,
Ole
We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!
Gender rights are the new civil rights!
Unconditional Love....
One never knows where it might be found, sometimes standing right beside you all along! Lara & Rachael, just wonderful Drea! Loving Hugs (with happy tears) Talia