Twice in a Lifetime  an anthology of sequels to Chances Are for Kristen Beck

 
Previously

“I …why am I so …he was such a….” He paused, not wanting to speak aloud anything that would hurt his mother.

“She that findeth a wife......”

Browning-Forshay Funeral Home, Hawthorne, New Jersey, a few evenings later…

“This happened all so fast, kids. I’m sorry I didn’t get to talk with you sooner,” Kallie said as she hugged each of the Macros children in turn. Even as adults, they held an almost childlike place in her heart. A fairly tall woman clutched her arm, giving her support. Mina had been with their Aunt Kallie for years, and was a part of the family. 

“Kallie was on the phone with your dad….” Mina’s voice trailed off as everyone nodded silently.

“He was going to…..he wanted…” Kallie’s eyes began to tear up when her gaze fell upon Melina. It would have been a cruel twist of fate but for the love Melaina still held in her own heart for her father in spite of the rejection she had endured for years merely for being herself.

“Let’s go sit down…..we have to talk before everyone gets here.” A few moments later they all sat in a welcoming room that afforded them some quiet and privacy.

“My brother was a stubborn man, but he never wanted to hurt anyone. He was just too hurt himself.” Kallie shook her head. She didn’t want to make excuses. For years she had endured his anger and rejection over her relationship with Mina and she had every right to be bitter. But she had long ago realized how dangerous that mindset was; played out in agonizing detail in her brother’s life. She looked at Helen and nodded. The woman smiled and nodded back.

“Your father showed up at my place a few days ago. I couldn’t bear to see him since we separated.” Even though Nicko had divorced her, neither of them remarried, and Helen hoped that some day he would change.

“He insisted, and I didn’t know then, but something told me inside that it was important, so I invited him in.” She lowered her head slightly and looked away, seeking the next words.

“He said that your grandmother came to him….” She began to cry softly even as she spoke; haltingly but clear. Melina gasped at the mention of her grandmother; a woman who so moved everyone with love that Melina chose to become her grandmother’s namesake.

“He couldn’t say…a dream? A ghost? From heaven? She spoke to him and told him….” Helen turned and put her head on Mina’s shoulder. Kallie reached across and grabbed Helen’s hand and squeezed.

“What he told me….what he told Helen? My mother spoke to him and told him to let go. My father was a very cruel man and my brother never wanted to be like him, but it was the only model he had. He worked with our father from the time he was twelve. Every day except Sunday, and he became just like our dad. But when I talked to him…. And I guess when your mom saw him…. He had changed. It was like…” Kallie paused and bit her lip. Better late than never is a very clever phrase; especially if one ignores what transpired before change takes place. But Kallie took solace in the fact that change did take place.

“Your dad…my brother grew up like a bent tree; twisted and misshaped. I closed my eyes when…. I knew when he called me that something was different….and then he was gone. I’m sorry.” She put her hand to her face and wept; some for the sheer waste of time and loss of connection, but mostly because even if Nicko acted as if he hated his sister, Kallie never stopped loving her brother. She wiped her eyes with her blouse sleeve and continued; a smile beginning to break through the grief.

“I closed my eyes…I knew he was gone, you know? And a peace came over me. That vision of a twisted tree? It was almost like black and white like an old movie. The tree was twisted and black and grey and so sad looking.” Kallie’s smile grew and she blinked back more tears, but her sigh was one of content relief.

“At the top of the tree there was a bit of green and a yellow….” Another sigh. Melina gasped; remembering that her namesake’s favorite color was yellow.

“A little flower all the way at the top. It was like the good that was in him finally was…” Kallie shook her head; understanding and accepting are okay in their way, but don’t necessarily remove the pain that preceded them.

“He wanted so much to please his father that he forgot that he wanted so much to be like your grandmother,” Mina said as she rubbed Kallie’s back. Helen nodded.

“When I saw him, he told me the same story. I almost knew it was near the end for him. We talked for hours. About how much he wanted to say to you all.” Helen looked at each of her children in turn. Chris had his head down and tears poured off his face.

“He was so proud of you, Chris. He never found the words to tell any of you.” She looked at her daughter-in-law Nonee and half-frowned as if the rejection the girl had felt was Helen’s fault instead of her husband’s. Nonee nodded and half-smiled; her brown complexion grew red and warm as Helen continued.

“His father was so angry and so hateful that he passed along his ignorance to Nicko, and you and Chris and the baby bore the brunt of that. I am so sorry it took so long for him to realize how wrong he was, but he was so sorry at the… at the end.” Nonee smiled; almost a polite gesture but for the warmth in her eyes; like so many in the Marcos family, the young woman had learned quickly to forgive for her family’s benefit.

“And Nick? I’m sorry… I thought he had more time. He wanted to say how proud he was of you.” Helen put her head down in shame as if it had been her decision instead of Nicko’s to forestall any praise; she certainly did her best to counter the effects of her husband’s lack with his children.

“He was so proud of you. I’m sorry, moro mou…” Even as the first-born, there was something that endured between mother and son as her baby. Nick shook his head; not in disagreement but instead in sad disappointment over the gulf between father and son that only narrowed at the end of his father’s life. That bittersweet realization that love truly had returned if only for the small measure of a heart-beat. Helen mirrored her son’s posture and began to weep.

“Mel?” Kallie sniffled once and spoke again.

“When your Dad and I talked…. He kept saying that our mother wanted him to remember your name…that you honored her more than he ever did.” Kallie paused as Melanie gasped; embarrassed over her father’s shame, but Kallie put her hand up in encouraging caution.

“He said he knew that she was right. But that he wanted to make everything better. I wish I had more to give you than this, but he said he was wrong and that he was sorry.” Kallie shook her head at the helpless feeling of being unable to make things better; that only Nicko could have done that and he fell short of the goal. But Melina smiled through her own tears.

“I remember…the only time he ever said he was sorry to me. I had some little play I was in when I was in fourth grade and he was supposed to come, but he got busy at the diner….he always got too busy.” She paused; not wanting to be harsh in a soft moment.

“He got home late and came into our room…Chris and me, you remember?” She looked over at her brother and smiled. He lifted his head and nodded but gasped at the sadness; bittersweet once again.

“He knelt down next to my bed and kissed me on the forehead. He had tears in his eyes and he said, ‘I’m sorry.’ Nothing else, but I knew he was sorry. And I know now….I never forgot that, and I can hear his voice, you know….” She spoke haltingly but after a pause she continued even as the tears poured from her face. Stephanie held her hand and rubbed her arm in encouragement.

“I’m so proud of you,” her partner whispered as Melina continued.

“Daddy? Wherever you are, I know…..I know, Daddy and I love you.”

The well-wishers had begun to say their good-bye condolences; likely repeated over and over at the funeral the next morning. A few folks stood by Helen and Nick as Chris and Nonee thanked the guests as they departed. Melanie looked around anxiously. The final evening before the funeral and Mina and Kallie hadn’t arrived.

“I don’t understand. They haven’t called, and no one has heard from Pete.” The second oldest hadn’t called or communicated in quite some time, and it was not a complete surprise. He had immersed himself in his career in the military; another example of the overcompensation by all the Macros children to please their father. It was a tradition passed from generation to generation going back to God only knows when; ineffective and wasteful though it was, it was all theirs.

“I got a text on my cell just now,” Stephanie said loud enough to gain everyone’s attention.

“Aunt Kallie and Aunt Mina are on their way. Something about getting stuck at the airport?” Stephanie tried not to smile. They had talked with her the previous evening about their plans; asking her to keep secret what they had intended. And like the caring spouse she was, she wanted to make sure the surprise they held would be the blessing they had intended for all, but especially for Melina. A few minutes later the front door opened and Mina walked in; followed closely by Kallie and a familiar face.

“I’m sorry we’re late, but there was a delay in the flight,” Kallie said with a wry grin as her gaze went back and forth between the family and the woman beside her.

“Hi,” the woman said meekly. Nick stared at the woman and a look of recognition crossed his face. One by one, each family member realized who the woman was as smiles and confusion melded happily. The woman walked up to Melina and pulled her into an awkward hug and spoke softly.

“I’m sorry for coming to the party so late.” She stepped back and Melina tilted her head sideways just a bit with a growing smile.

“Pete?”

“It’s Aspasia now. I’m sorry for not communicating but I only recently realized who I am. No..." She paused, looking almost angry with herself.

"I've always known, but I never had any courage to be who I am. But I do now; mostly because of the example of two fine women,” she said with a broad smile. Melina looked at her in question.

“I met someone a short while ago. She had served with honor before her change, but now serves with honor as an example to women like us. A lady of valor, some have said with great wisdom. But mostly because of the example of one of the bravest women I know….” Her voice trailed off even as the words came haltingly through happy tears. She put her head down.

“I should have told you long ago how I felt, but I was so ashamed. Daddy was so hard to please, and even two tours over there weren’t enough to please him. And all the while you faced your fears and did what you had to do despite the cost. It finally dawned on me that I could never please Daddy enough to satisfy him and all my efforts were at the expense of my own life and my love for my family. You gave me courage, Mel. Can you forgive me?” Aspasia Macros fell into her sister’s arms and wept. Melina patted her on the back and kissed her cheek.

“Nothing to forgive….shhh….shhhh.”

Stephanie stepped close and Aspasia looked at her and nodded. A quick plan pulled off by tenacious work on Stephanie’s part to reach out to the lost sheep of the fold, so to speak. She nodded back and leaned close to the embrace her spouse was sharing; grabbing her new sister’s hand and squeezing.

“Welcome home.”

And one by one, the family drew close and welcomed the newest member of the Macros family. Courage comes often not by the challenge we face, but rather with whom we face that challenge; the strength that is derived from being woven together like a three-strand cord as it says somewhere. We often fail to see the encouragement because our eyes focus instead on the obstacles we face. The one dissenting voice that outshouts the many calm strengthening voices which surround us.

But those voices also often prevail. The second chances we get when we embrace those who care and love and hold us dear.

Next: Susan’s Love