Twice in a Lifetime  an anthology of sequels to Chances Are

From Lara's Chance

Making the way to the lectern for the inaugural message, the pastor nodded slightly; an unfamiliar face to many, which evoked a few murmurs and some applause. Instead of the usual casual slacks and button-down shirt and tie of the previous shepherd, the pastor wore black slacks and a teal silk blouse under a white jacket. She smiled.

"The Book of the Prophet Isaiah…Chapter Forty-Three…Verses One through Four...

Gresham Oregon…two years later…

“You’ve been so quiet, Lara. Is there anything wrong?” The petit woman spoke from the office doorway. No need for formalities between best friends, right? Lara had always been uncomfortable with titles anyway. She shook her head no, but the accompanying frown indicated otherwise.

“It’s our anniversary,” Lara said as she looked away. Remembering her late wife; no need to hide tears since Rachael could read her like a book, as the saying goes. In few short years since Lara took over as Senior Pastor, she had made strides in convincing the faithful few that she was there to stay. Rachael’s brother Jeff was holding his own and had been cancer free for almost as long, but was too weak to be of assistance as the church had doubled in size.

“Oh…I meant to tell you. Al called; he’s going to be in town and he wanted to know if you were free for dinner.” The words sent a chill up Lara’s back; her former brother-in-law was a bulwark of support when his sister passed; Jack’s sister Nancy was also the wife of Major Dante Cerchierra. Danny Cerchierra moved on after his wife passed, becoming Lara DiNapoli. It would have been a daunting mess of confusion just for that alone.

“You gonna tell him?” Rachael winked and smiled.

“Tell him what?” Lara was like anyone else in the world; privacy was important because she felt guarded and secure by the secrecy. Rachael blasted past those defenses, as only a BFF can and said finally,

“Are you going to tell Al that you love him?”

A few days later at the church…

“You do know you couldn’t have been a brighter shade of red the other day if you tried.” Rachael laughed and patted Lara on the head like an obedient child. Lara turned and resisted the temptation to stick out her tongue.

“Why I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She laughed nervously at her attempt at humor, but her face grew warm and she put her head down.

“It’s okay, Lar….” Rachael knew Lara better than anyone other than the man they had been discussing the past several days. She smiled and shook her head.

“I know there’s a whole lot going on inside there, honey, and you know that not all of it is good, right?” The question would have led to disastrous results if she hadn’t added quckly,

“Guilt and shame keep nipping at your heels, no matter how fast you run away. You have to turn around and smack each of them in the nose with a rolled up paper!” She half-smiled and stepped close to her friend once again, kneading her shoulders from behind. Lara looked up at Rachael and smiled weakly.

“You feel like you’re betraying her memory. You feel like you don’t deserve to be happy. You feel like you don’t want to be a burden on your best friend….How am I doing so far?”

“Stellar….” Lara said weakly, putting her head down.

“Truth is? All of those things are true, but only in small ways. Yes, in a way you are betraying Nan’s memory, but only because she said that she wanted you to be happy and live your life, right? And your reluctance to do anything for yourself? My brother would help you if he could, but either way, it’s not good for you to neglect your own needs.”

“If I don’t do it, Rache?”

“I know…it won’t get done. But who’s to say it should get done in the first place? We don’t have a corner on needs in this church. Jesus said something about the poor being with us always? That’s not poor only in goods, but in spirit. And you know you can’t be of any good to anyone else if you’re no good to yourself. So yeah. That’s a betrayal!” She half-frowned as if to criticize, but the light in her eyes spoke otherwise.

“And yes…it’s true that you don’t deserve to be happy. None of us deserve much of anything other than the respect and love we owe to each other. It’s a matter of joy, sweetie! And you exude it. Why folks love your messages; they speak of hope and joy in the midst of all the crap we have coming at us. But it’s okay to be happy anyway, and damn it if it’s not a bad idea when you actually grab hold of some happiness.”

Lara stared at the floor; by now tears had begun to fall. These times felt so awkward and inauthentic; she hadn’t really cried much other than when her son died and when Nan died. But then again, being a ‘man’ compelled her to act and speak and perhaps even try to think a certain way. But inside in those moments when her life’s incongruity rose like so much bile in her throat; she cried every day inside even if she never shed a tear.

“We hurt no matter whether we show it or even feel it; it’s part of life. And it’s right to be happy. It just is.”

“What about Al…he’s….”

“What? He shouldn’t bear you up? And why not? Is it up to you to determine who loves you? Maybe he’s got other ideas, Lar….think of that.”

Rachael had pretty much exhausted all of her resources, and it was working. Lara was at the point of being vulnerable and trusting that things were actually okay. She was at a place where she could talk to Al about how she felt. It was a good thing even if it was destined to fail. She was ready to tell him she did indeed love him, but sadly, as Rachael suggested? Al had other ideas.

“Good afternoon, Pastor DiNapoli. “

Lara looked up from her paperwork to find Al Apsche standing in her doorway. He had a bottle of champagne in his right hand and a smile on his face. Lara bit her lip and looked away, hoping she didn’t screw things up.

“I’ve got something to celebrate, and I can’t think of anyone I’d like to share it with than my best friend. You free for dinner? Nice Thai place over in Portland.” Lara looked at the clock on her desk. 5:18; it was later than she expected, She looked back and Al was grinning as if he had a big secret; and everyone knew Al couldn’t keep a secret if his life depended on it.

“Sure…anything for you!” She sighed only slightly, hoping she wasn’t as easily ‘read’ as he was. Truth of the matter? Al wasn’t easy to read at all; something she was about to find out.

Sweet Basil Thai Restaurant, Portland….

Al handed the waitress the bottle and smiled.

“I’ll be right back with your menus, and I’ll get this chilled.” She nodded and walked back to the kitchen.

“I’ve got some great news,” he said as he pulled her chair out to seat her. His warm breath caressed her left ear, or so it seemed. She grabbed the glass of water in front of her and downed it in a long, quick draught. Al sat down and grabbed her hand. She pulled back slightly and he let go; he was always a fairly touchy-feely guy, and she felt her face grow warm.

“A friend told me to try the Salmon Curry.” He patted her hand and she noticed that he was still wearing his wedding ring…funny how she had missed that after all these years.

“Anyway? About my news? Wellllllll” He seemed to be a bit more playful than usual; perhaps it wasn’t going to be hard at all to tell him how much she cared. Actually, it was going to prove to be more than just difficult; something that became apparent a moment later when an attractive Asian woman walked to the table. At first Lara thought she might be the manager or owner, but that idea went away quickly as she leaned close and kissed Al on the cheek.

“Oh, hi. I’m glad you were able to break away for a bit.” He stood up and pulled out the chair between his and Lara’s and seated her, but not before kissing her cheek as well. She turned and smiled warmly at Lara.

“You must be Pastor DiNapoli. Al has told me so much about you. It’s nice to meet someone who is dear to him.” She patted Lara’s hand much in the same manner as Al had only moments before. Lara noticed that she was wearing a wedding ring. He was being awfully familiar with the woman, and Lara felt her face grow warm in embarrassment.

“I’m Chaisee Taksin.” She held out her hand and Lara shook it.”

“Chai?” Al smiled at her and turned to Lara with a look that seemed to say, ‘can you believe her?’ Chaisee laughed softly and patted Al’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry….that’s Chaisee Taksin Apsche. Al and I got married last month in St. Louis.” She smiled an innocent smile; her demeanor literally matched her first name. Al, on the other hand might not have been guilty of anything, but he was far from innocent. Lara bit the inside of her cheek and stifled a sigh before smiling politely.

“That’s wonderful,” she said, trying hard to be authentic; at least in tone. In front of the woman who had just married the man she had realized she herself had grown to love; a woman…a real woman, she thought; she felt anything but authentic. She placed her hand on Chaisee’s arm and squeezed.

“You’ve gotten just about the best guy around. I’m so happy for you both.” She would talk herself into acting happy, and deep down she truly rejoiced for them both; that character trait of hers that endeared her to so many. But at that moment, she didn’t ‘feel’ happy at all. She smiled again and reached into her jacket, pulling out her phone.

“I’ve got to take this. You’ll excuse me?”

She stood up quickly, not waiting for a reply. The phone hadn’t buzzed at all, but she needed some space and quickly. Al stood up politely as she nodded and walked outside to her Jeep. She hit the remote and the door locks opened and she got inside. Placing her purse on the seat next to her, she stared blankly ahead. It had begun to rain hard, and the sound of the water hitting the roof of the car took the edge off her mood; she had always loved the sound of rain against metal. But the mood remained, if subdued only a little by the soothing sounds; sounds which did little to hide her cries as she began to sob....

to be continued...