Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1180.

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The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike)
Part 1180
by Angharad

Copyright © 2010 Angharad
All Rights Reserved.
  
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Simon appeared whilst I was talking with Julie. “What the hell has been going on?”

“Julie got shot as I was taking her home.”

“How?” he looked bewildered.

“She spotted Alfie Bird as we were driving home, I could see he had something in his hand, but I didn’t see what. It turned out to be a gun and he managed to get off one round as I clipped him with the car. Turns out he used to be a wrestler and stuntman, so he escaped most of the car.”

“Should have let Stella drive.”

“At that stage I didn’t want to kill him.” I shrugged, well, I didn’t–obviously the blue light stuff is softening my brain.

“How’s my girl?” he said to Julie.

“Better now you’re here, Daddy,” she played him like a natural daughter.

“I’ve done some work on the wound which is healing very quickly.”

“So when can she come home?” he gave Julie a hug.

“That’s not up to me.”

“Okay, I’ll get the security people back. The garage is sending someone over to sort your car, so I’ll take you back.” He wandered out of the room to make some calls and he came back a few minutes later, “All sorted. You,” he pointed at Julie, “behave yourself, don’t talk to any strange men, especially those carrying guns.”

“Yes, Daddy,” she said meekly while batting her eyelashes at him, I glared at her but she didn’t look at me.

By the time we left, the bodyguard chap was there, about the size of a brick sh...you get the idea, he was big he made Simon look small and he’s six foot tall. “I don’t think I’d like to keep him for long,” I muttered to Simon.

“Is that for feeding purposes or sex?” he shot back.

“Eh? Either I suppose, having that lying on top of me would probably crush me to death, but I was actually meaning feeding him. He looks like he might just manage one of those huge steaks they have in Texas, or wherever it is, seventy two pounds or inches or something like that. If you can eat it all in an hour, they give it to you. Very few succeed.”

“How do you know about that?”

“It was on the Today programme one morning while I was taking the girls to school, and I saw something on the internet the other day which reminded me.”

“That is one big steak, I think I’ve seen lighter fence posts.” Simon smirked at his own joke and I slapped him on his arm. Down in the car park, the garage were collecting my car on a suspended tow. At least I hoped it was the garage, because otherwise it was being stolen. It needed some work to the offside front and door and a new glass in the driver’s door. There was also the issue of the blood over much of the front passenger seat.

I got in the Jaguar with Simon and he told me they were sending a loan car to the house this evening, but he wasn’t sure what it was. We drove out of the hospital and I kept a very wary eye on the traffic, but no one jumped us or tried to close in on us.

“So, do we know why this Alfie bloke is trying to kill, you two?” Simon asked as he slowed down at traffic lights.

“Presumably because someone told him to.”

“I’d got that far already. Do we know who?”

“No, not unless the police have made some progress. I got a hate letter this morning telling me they were going to kill Julie, but not why. I can’t believe it’s because she forgot to return her library books.”

“CD or DVD?” he suggested smirking again.

“Nah, the council is strapped for cash, hiring hit men usually costs money. I really can’t think why they would pursue her so doggedly.”

“What, the council? Don’t they usually send in bailiffs not psychos if you owe them money?” Simon asked rhetorically.

“Look, if they were allowed to kill people, they’d be doing it to those who were on housing lists or use social services.”

“Like foster parents?” he said smiling.

“We own the others, she’s the only fostered one now–oh.” I wanted to hit him for outmanoeuvring me, but he was driving again, I’ll hit him later. “Let’s be serious, because this is far too important to joke about.”

“Okay, what do we know?” asked Simon, stopping at another set of lights.

“Not very much, only that Alfie Bird seems to have been engaged to kill her, and he’s indisposed.”

“Whose fault is that?”

“He did come in with a gun and was intent on killing us both.”

“If he was a stuntman, he can’t have been a very good one, can he?”

“Why–he survived my efforts to run him down? That’s pretty impressive in my book.”

“But when you whacked him with that stand he should have been able to roll with that, they do in the films.”

“Simon, the nurse had just thrown a hot cup of tea over his head, I hit him when he wasn’t looking, the stuntmen in films work to careful choreographies or they do get hurt, occasionally killed.”

“But aren’t wrestlers supposed to be able to cope with a little pain and still function?” Simon still wasn’t buying it that I disabled this human mountain called Alfie Bird.

“I hit him quite hard, then kicked him in the jaw, plus he banged his head on the bedstead. I think most wrestlers would find that combination difficult to deal with–he had a suspected fracture of the skull and I wouldn’t be surprised to learn he’d broken his jaw on my shoe.”

He looked down at my feet, “It’s a trainer, for God’s sake not a toe-tector thing.”

“Yes, darling, but my foot was in it at the time–it makes all the difference.” I wriggled my toes, my foot was hurting a little, probably bruised over the instep.

“Okay, so you zapped him, fortunately for all concerned. Surely, walking into a hospital to shoot someone is a pretty kamikaze thing to do.”

“No more than trying to crash a car into another. Even if they’d succeeded, they could have been hurt as well, it’s all high risk stuff, and there was no guarantee they’d kill their intended targets.”

“Dunno, if the intention was to get you into hospital if not the morgue, then maybe they had ways of finishing you off in hospital--overdose of insulin–that sort of thing.”

“And we’ve just left our daughter there–perhaps we’d better get her home?” I said anxiously.

“She’ll be alright, they’re not going to try again so soon, are they?”

“I don’t know, it could catch everyone napping.”

“Look, the Jolly Green Giant at her door will stop anyone from harming her.”

“Not if it’s someone who looks official, like a nurse or doctor?”

“You don’t seriously think that could happen do you?”

“It could, and won’t they be busy guarding Alfie, so our poor Julie could be vulnerable.”

“Why would they be watching Alfie?” Simon looked at me.

“So they can question him when he comes to.”

“He’ll just plead amnesia, or the voices; besides if they knock him off, it would do everyone a favour.”

“That’s not very Christian, Simon.”

“Ha, coming from the president of the Richard Dawkins fan club that is very rich.”

“You know what I meant,” I prodded him. “Now, can we turn back and check on Julie?”

“What for, The Incredible Hulk is guarding her, so why not just say hello to the other children in your life and get a shower and some food.”

“But I’m worried, Si. I have this awful feeling,” I rubbed my solar plexus.

“Yeah, it’s called wind–have a fart, you’ll feel better.”

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Bike pt 1180.

OK, Angharad, what mystery have you got going?

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

This saga is gonna run

and run. Cathy's feelings haven't let her down yet, and you'd think that Si would have learned that by now.

S.

agree - turn that car

around and get back to Julie's side.

How long has Julie been living as a girl in a

supportive family? Guess this goes to show she's always been a girl.

“Better now you’re here, Daddy,” she played him like a natural daughter.

ha!

well, duh. She needs a new scooter. Or a car. :)

LOL

Wow - already working on daddy for the vehicle from the hospital bed. Guess that's as good a time to start as any.

Only one guard?

Surely Simon could have stumped up for a pair - plus another pair to relieve them in a few hours time, so they're working shifts.

Then again, with all the healing Cathy's probably done to Julie, plus the assistance of Ken Nicholls' surgeons, she's probably just in for observation now, so as long as Hulk remains in the vicinity, the goons won't be able to try anything obvious like smothering her. As the hospital know the Camerons, they'll probably keep an eye on Julie's room as well - if one of the goons did get to Julie, you could bet the hospital would be looking at the wrong end of a hefty lawsuit - never mind all the negative publicity if the media heard a patient was murdered within their walls...

Let's hope that nothing comes to Julie and she's discharged safely. If any goons are still on the loose, Hulk can patrol the grounds of Tom's house, ready to respond if anyone dares enter the drive without permission.

 

Bike Resources

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

I bet...

the guard is wearing a red shirt... :)

Naughty, naughty!

Don't tempt fate!


As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

I hope not

Please have a non-expendable guard for Julie.

Just as well...

...the regular readers around here all have strong fingers. Come to think of it, it's a requirement for becoming a regular to this series. How else would we manage to hang on to all those cliffs the authoring team keep us dangling over?

Thanks A+B: I grinned when I read, “I wouldn’t be surprised to learn he’d broken his jaw on my shoe.” Good to see the sort of divergent thinking that changes the perspective.

Positive Spins


Bike Resources

Is Simon really thick!!?

You'd think he would have learned to harken to Cathy's 'gut feelings' by now.
Turn the b----y car round, you stupid b----r!!!

Still in suspense and still lovin' it.

Love an' hugs,

OXOXOX

Bev.

Growin' old disgracefully.

(I'm holding two snakes but they were definitely torpid and pretty flacid. And yes, the one crawling up my face was a black African cobra but I'm pretty sure it had been 'de-venomed'.) It seemed too tired or flacid to even extend its hood.
When my better half learned of it she went ballistic and demanded to know if I was suicidal. She had gone to a cafe for some mint tea. (Tummy trouble) and I was wandering around alone.
Stupid stupid Bev but what the hell, you only live once and I'm growin' old disgracefully!

bev_1.jpg

And, here I thought...

And, here I thought the steak was called the 'ole 96er' (As in 96 ounces or a bit over 2.7 kg. I think that's half a cow.)

Interesting. I wonder what OTHER security Simon's arranged, that he's NOT telling Cathy about. I know he can be dense, but he's demonstrated (a time or two) that when it comes to this kinda action he can arrange for far more than a single "visible" guard...

Hope the other kids are okay.

Thanks,
Anne

P.S. I do wonder at Meem's persistent speech issue.

Wonder what Cathy

will find when she finally convince's Simon to turn around? Blood more than likley, But whose will it be ?

One good thing about commenting now is i should'nt have long too wait to find out .....Hopefully!

Kirri

Offside?? Onside??

" the offside front and door"?? I've never understood the 'offside' and the 'onside' -- they're not the terms used over here. Does 'offside' mean 'left' and 'onside' mean 'right' and, if so, why don't you say so?

Yours from the Great White North,

Jenny Grier (Mrs.)

x

Yours from the Great White North,

Jenny Grier (Mrs.)

Sides

It's a little confusing - even for UK drivers!

Apparently the near-side is the side of the car nearest the kerb - in UK cars on UK roads, that's the left hand / passenger side.
The off-side is the other side - the right hand / driver's side.

If you think that's confusing, think about multi-lane roads (dual carriageways, motorways). The inside lane is the lane closest to the edge of the road, while the outside lane is the lane closest to the central reservation. It evidently made sense to someone at some time...

 

Bike Resources

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

To confuse you even more, dear cousins…

…across the pond, in cricket similar terms are used; "leg side" and "off side". Leg side is the side of the wicket where your legs are when batting, and off side is the opposite one. But it can be even more confusing, because it all depends whether the batter is a right- or left-hander, because leg side for a left-hander is off side for a right-hander, so it can become even more perplexing when you have a right-hander and a left-hander batting together. And then there are some of the fielding positions like "silly mid off" which can sound peculiar to all but a cricket aficionado. They often used to provide a source of amusement when the late great “Johnners”—Brian Johnston—was commentating a test match on the radio. Famed among them was when Michael Holding of the West Indies was bowling to Peter Willey of England, and when he took over the commentary from one of his BBC colleagues, Johnners was heard to say, “The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey”. Another memorable one was when he descriebed one of the fielders as "standing in the slips with his legs apart, waiting for a tickle”.

I heard them with my very own ears.
Gabi.


“It is hard for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.” Thomas Hardy—Far from the Madding Crowd.

Gabi.


“It is hard for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.” Thomas Hardy—Far from the Madding Crowd.