Well, I had an unusual incident at a local McDonalds. I was taking my ex home from her 2nd job with my daughter in tow, when she asked if she could pick something up. I had no objection, so we went. I was waiting in the car with my daughter while she went in to get her stuff. While I was waiting, this young man came out, and he had a "wet floor" sign under his jacket, and he started to walk away. I did something totally out of character for me. I got out of the car, and asked him what he was doing. I basically shamed him into returning the sign.

Well, the tribe has spoken, as it were. Everyone who gave me an opinion on the dilemma I was facing with the next two chapters of RSM said post the two chapters together, so that's how it will go. They will be up tomorrow, and I will leave the chapter heading between so you can see where the cliffhanger was. I hope you guys enjoy them.

Anybody who has followed my blog here probably can tell that I have, on occasion, struggled with negative self-talk. I'm starting to realize how much this has held me back. It becomes as self-fulfilling prophesy, where I make mistakes because I expect to make mistakes. Its not going to be easy to get rid of a habit that ingrained, but I have to, if I want to make any progress. So I'm asking everyone here to help keep my accountable. If I start whining and feeling sorry for myself, give me a boot in the back of the skirt, okay?

Well, I'm trying to take this tough period as a character builder. I'm stronger than I used to be, and I will not give up.

Well, I found a place worth trying as Dorothy. I'm dropping a resume off as Dorothy today. Wish me luck.

I find myself wondering if there is something in the air. My girlfriend Kylie seems to have gone into a pit of despair, and at least 3 other friends of mine are not far off from that. I wish I could help, but I'm barely functional myself. God, have mercy on us all.

Well, I was taking a count, and my next story will be my one hundredth story or poem here. Just think, at this rate I will have almost as much as "bike" by sometime in the next century (assuming no more entries come from our pal Angharad there in the meantime...)

Well, today started well, and went downhill. I had my daughter, we had a good day. But my gf Kylie is down, and by the time she went to bed, I was a worried for her. Then, I happened to read the most recent chapter of "you meant it for evil" After I read it, I started shaking and couldn't stop. My brother was committed after my dad died, and after I visited him there, I had nightmares of being committed myself, especially because I thought my gender issues meant I was crazy. Thank God for some online friends who held me together until I got my breath back.

I was reading Lilith's little rant about people taking the time to comment on stories. I want to give some examples from my own stories on how your comments make a difference to me. I wrote "Vision Spring", and the first official story "A little nudge" got 11 comments, more than enough to encourage me to to continue. I wrote "This is how a heart breaks." which got seven, but I figured I would do another one anyway. I worked very hard at the third story, taking time to research many aspects, and even found a song that fit the mood of the story.

Folks, my girlfriend needs your help. She is struggling with feeling like she isn't any good as a writer. Can anybody spare a moment to send some good wishes her way?

Well, I had the interview, and I think it went okay. I went in boy mode, and didn't mention transitioning, though, and part of me hates myself for that. I hate having to hide, it feels like lying, but I need the income if I am going to make anything happen, and maybe if I get the job, and I prove myself, I can then bring up the subject and have some hope for it.

Well, I am feeling pretty bummed over what my sister-in-law said, and its bugging me enough to want to craft some kind of response to her. I cant find the words yet, though.

Well, I just wanted to apologize for the delay in publishing anything besides this blog. I'm writing a little sweet fantasy story called "Rock Star Makeover", and real life is currently making "sweet" hard for me. It'll come soon, I promise.

Well, I managed to make my mother cry last night. She had gone to bed, but woke up at about 130 when she realized I was still up. She got very upset, and told me I was sabotaging my life, that I didn't care about her or my daughter. It has really set my mood back.

There are occasionally, stories one shouldn't read in certain moods. I loved it, but Randalynn's story "Case Closed" hit me hard. The trouble i have is how much I feel like Paul:

"what do I have to look forward to? Years stretching ahead of me, all alone and in pain, tormented by all the real people? That’s the clarity you gave me this morning, by the way. I know now that I can’t be anything but what I am — the human joke. It’s not going to change.”

“You could — ”