Well, as if losing my girlfriend wasnt bad enough, last night, I managed to lose my wallet. I wish I could figure out how to stop sabotaging myself. I have a hard enough road ahead of me without making things harder for myself.

Well, my confidence in my abilities had taken a hit thanks to the struggles I had with "Between one step and the next", but the two short pieces I've done since has given me a bit of a boost in this area. Hopefully, that means I can tackle a longer work now.

Well, I've been meaning to talk a bit about Aurelia, the other trans woman at work. She just came back to work after surgery, and her story is a little different than mine. First, she is intersexed, so gender confusion was more than just in her head. She also suffers from mild Autism, and that makes her days interesting, to say the least. For now, she is on very light duty, using a motorized cart for going around the store in, and she is on a lot of meds, not surprisingly.

Well, I just got back from riding in the Pride parade. My local TS group made an entry, and I got to ride in the truck and blow bubbles at people. Two things about this experience come to the front of my mind: First, being IN the parade means you dont actually see it, and second, I found it odd to have people waving and smiling at me, and taking my picture. Normally, I'm pretty shy, so it was a different experience for me. Was fun, though.

Well, I had a roller-coaster of a shift, emotional-wise. I started pretty down, as I was still hurting in my privates, which sucked on so many levels it pushed me right into the depths. But, things got better as the shift went along. First, by the time I got off shift, I was dong pretty good pain wise, and then in the car I heard this song called "Dam. girl" and for some reason, I pictured myself as the object of the singer's praises, strutting my stuff as he sang. I don't know why, but I'll take it.

Well, I'm writing this with tears in my eyes, as I managed to hurt myself at work last night. At about 530, I pulled my groin muscle, and after trying to keep going for a few minutes, realized I was in far too much pain, and called out for help. The irony of hurting in the part of my anatomy I most wish didn't exist is not lost on me, but such is life. The good news is, I have a couple of days off to rest, and hope for a recovery. Pray for me, if you are so inclined.

A sincere apology for the lack of quality in the writing of the story "Between one step and the next." I'm working on finishing it off quickly so hopefully, I can try something else, and see if the writing improves.

Just wanted to give a brief explanation for my last story, "Unintended Consequences". After I had read "A new game plan", I left my comment, expressing my opinion, and figured that would be the end of that. Unfortunately, my muse had other ideas. I went out with my daughter, and while watching her play in our neighborhood park the basic idea of this story dropped in. By the time I got back in, I was on fire, and the story took less than twenty minuses to write.

Well, I have discovered I am getting an honest-to-God side effect from my T-Blockers. Mainly, I am almost continually thirsty. I've been taking a 1 liter bottle of water to work with me, and a can of pop, and usually polish off both over the course of a night. At home, I'm drinking a glass of milk, a glass of orange juice, a glass of apple juice, a TON of water, and occasionally, a pop. Darn if I can figure out where all this fluid is going, I'm not peeing THAT often.....

Well, I think the pills are starting to have an effect. This morning after I got home, I considered err... relieving some tension, and discovered that even my over-active imagination could not make the old soldier salute, as it were. God, that is such a relief.....

I just wanted to apologize for the delay in part 3 of "Between one step and the next". I felt like I had written myself into a corner, and was about to despair, but I think I see a way out now. Unfortunately, with real life being what it is at the moment, my writing time is seriously curtailed, so it will take a bit. It will come when it does, so thank you for your patience. and again, my apologies.

I just wanted to tell everyone not to panic. I'm an a mature woman, I will not let this little setback with my shifts stop me. I'll do a little grovelling tomorrow, and hopefully, that will be the end of it.

Well, my first shift was pretty good, and at least a couple people made a point of calling me Dorothy and one teased me and called me a young lady. All in all, I'm impressed so far. Meanwhile, I wanted to take a moment to talk about "Yes, Dear." I've been playing around with showing the difference between forced fem and consensual dressing up. The latter can be a fun experience between a couple, the former is merely torture. Accordingly, I set the piece up as dark as I dared, making it appear that I was telling a horror story, and then sprang my little surprise of the fact it was all a game.

Well, I got my schedule, and for the next two weeks at least, I'll be working full time. Cant wait for my first official shift Monday night.

well, as of this morning my girlfriend has left her home, her job, and everyone she knows to make a fresh start. She is going to Portland, not having anything waiting there except whatever hope she brings with her. I can do little but pray until she is reconnected with me, hopefully when she arrives.

Well, I start working for Wal-mart today. Orientation will be interesting, since I will be dressed female, but have a male name tag. Ah, well.

Well, once in a while, my ex surprises me, and its rarely for a good reason. Tonight, we had a belated mother's day dinner for her and my mom, and she mentioned about my dad, that she wanted my daughter to consider someone else as her grandfather, instead of my dad. Now, my dad committed suicide, so apparently, that means he cant even be in the family tree in her view. Doesn't give me a lot of hope on how she will react when I come out. Ah, well.

I just wanted to share a link to my girlfriend's blog:

http://blog.whispersofalostgirl.com/2011/05/what-is-love.html

Well, I am officially hired part time, as Dorothy, working for Wal-Mart. I got the call today, signed a contract, and start training Wednesday. Thank you, God!