Well, today I see the endocrinologist and find out if I can start a hormone regimen. Wish me luck, because if I can't I honestly don't know what I can do ....

Well, last night I managed to do something so dumb it scares me - I was driving my daughter to her mom's, and instead I started heading for work. Fortunately, I caught the error in time, so no damage was done, but still, its pretty frightening.

Just a note on how "Its for your own good" came about. See, I was reading Moongoddess' last chapter of "Magnetic Personality" where they tried to turn Lorna into a straight woman, and the thought came to me, "what if they had succeeded?" So I found myself having a nightmare that basically became the story. Its scary stuff, so I'm glad it was just a dream ....

Well, last night, things were zooming along great until after the last coffee break. Then the slightly shaky feeling I'd had on and off blossomed into a full blown flashback that left me in tears and gasping for air. One day I would really like to be free of these blessed things ....

Well, my muse has been a busy girl. This is where things stand for me at the moment: "Notification Service", a look at a future war between the sexes with a focus on a family caught in the crossfire - status, almost done; "Command Performance", a dark story from one of my nastier nightmares - status, being beta tested; "Quest for the Silver Cleric", which will be my D & D story - status, in progress; "Indestructible", a slightly different super-hero story - status - in progress; and story whose title I cannot reveal, because it will give the game away, but it is also in progress.

Just got back from a walk with my daughter, and along the way we ran into a lady with a dog named "Dexter." Only Dexter is a girl dog. I wonder if other dogs tease her about her name?

Today reminded me of just how much a contact junkie I am. At various times today I curled up beside my mother while she slept on the couch, had my daughter use me a jungle gym, and even managed to get a hug from my ex. I'd been jonesen for this level of contact for a while, so it feels good, but eventually the high will wear off, and I'll go back to craving it again. Ah, well.

Had a conversation with my brother yesterday. While a well-meaning guy, he managed to make me feel like crap by telling me I model male behavior well. He'll never understand why that hurts my feelings, sadly.

I got a complimented for being such a hard worker last night. Makes me feel nice inside. Meanwhile, I'm hard at work on my stories, and I hope to have something worth posting soon.

I can steal that title, since I wrote a story called that. In any case I really did have a long talk with my mom yesterday about my past, and how my gender stuff played into it. Once again, I'm reminded just how lucky I am to have a mom who supports me.

Well, today I go to the endocrinology doctor today. Wish me luck.

Well, I've been pushing myself too hard, apparently. Just after 3 am last night, my body decided it had enough, and I nearly collapsed. I caught myself at the last moment, but it was a wake-up call in more ways than one. I'm going to take it very easy the next couple of days, and be as good shape as I can for my appointment with the endo doc on Wednesday. Hugs to all.

I think I've talked about what I was doing on September 11, 2001, but its pressing on my mind, so I'm going to share again, and you'll just have to put up with it.

Was talking with my neighbor yesterday, and she mentioned being a lesbian. So I shared my story with her. At least they will know now why I sometimes go out in a wig and skirt .....

I wonder if I am on a placebo. I mean, I am supposed to be on a Diuretic, but I don't even pee all that much more than I did before. That would suck ....

One of the few people at work who is kind enough to call me Dorothy got hurt last night. She's been struggling with back pain the last couple of days (She missed Sunday night because of it), and I guess her back went out again, and she went home halfway through the shift. I hope she'll be okay.