My ex decides to remove my father from the family tree

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Well, once in a while, my ex surprises me, and its rarely for a good reason. Tonight, we had a belated mother's day dinner for her and my mom, and she mentioned about my dad, that she wanted my daughter to consider someone else as her grandfather, instead of my dad. Now, my dad committed suicide, so apparently, that means he cant even be in the family tree in her view. Doesn't give me a lot of hope on how she will react when I come out. Ah, well.

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I'm So Sorry To Hear That

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jengrl's picture

PICT0013_1_0.jpg I'm so sorry to hear that. It is a very sad fact in our society that a stigma still remains toward people who have committed suicide. In many families, especially in older generations, it is looked upon as a shame on the family and very rarely talked about. The Religious Reich seems convinced that all suicides go to Hell. I don't believe that is true. A good many suicides are triggered by existing mental conditions. Your Ex needs to stop and think that maybe there was an underlying reason why your dad did what he did that was beyond his control. I lost a friend to Bipolar Disorder in 2004 and I believe that God forgave her for doing it, because she was not in control of her mind.

Hugs,

Jen

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I'm sorry....

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Andrea Lena's picture

...this must feel like losing your father for a second time, and the grief and memories of that loss are so difficult enough already. And your concerns are quite understandable and realistic; if she's willing to deny in a manner of speaking your daughter's grandfather, what does that say to how she might treat you, as you say? My prayers to you, dear one. Like you've told me, we'll get through this.



Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Thank goodness, Dorothy.

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That you will be there to tell them the truth. No matter
what you may be going through, you'll at least be there
to tell your daughter the version she deserves to hear.
Painful truths might be harder to live with, but being
honest is an addiction, as well as being something that
children and young people can easily detect.

I hope your ex was perhaps struggling to find a way to
ease the loss of a grandparent, and simply got it all
wrong. If not, she sounds like quite the pratt.

Sarah

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