I hate to admit this but I think I truely am depressed at this point. I feel hopeless and have nobody to turn to. I haven't written anything in at least 3 weeks because I've lost all sense of myself(if that makes any sense). My fiancé has even took notice and has taken a step at helping me try to feel right again. EVEN MY FUCKING BOSS HAS TAKEN NOTICE! (Cries) I really don't know what to do right now. I'm scared and don't know where to turn to. I refuse to go inpatient at a hospital unless it's a last resort. (Sobbing)

Hi

well posting is back on schedule so there is a new chapter here.

However, as part of my build up to the big ride in Austria I'm going on a micro training camp next week, (3 days in the Peak District getting some hard climbing in!) so it may well be later in the week for the update.

ttfn

Mads

I've put up another Gaby chapter today to try to catch up a bit.

Well just to prove i'm not just a Cav Fangirl - congratulations Steve Cummings and Simon Yates - Simon for taking the white jersey despite the altercation with Tour signage and Steve for winning stage 7.
Yes, more Brit success, that's 4/7 and he rides for Cav's team too!
So come on Sky you slackers, time to take up the reigns!

Finally there is a new Gaby chapter up!

The last time I wrote a blog, it was about me not being sure about if I should release a story I had been working on along with Broken Phoenix. I had someone beta read what I had so far and I got a mixed comment so to speak. My writing is the only thing keeping me going right now and I've lost all sense of happiness. I've seen doctors but they just tell me that it's just stress. I even went as far as to talk to my childhood therapist from when I was transitioning. She noticed right away that I wasn't my normal self and needed help. I'm a complete wreck at this point.

I'm pondering if my luck is changing??? In any case I'll keep my fingers crossed and keep on hoping it really has till proven different. Only thing that hasn't changed is the amount of paperwork / hoops in RL except maybe enlarging it.

Lynne
what meeting someone can do to a woman ...

got home last evening after over a week away for Gabycon. Normal service will resume shortly!

So a short reprise of the last week or so:-

Thursday last - after voting I set off for Derby where I caught a time saving train to Tamworth. From there I made my way via Meriden to my campsite just outside Stratford upon Avon where I spent a restful night.

Friday - an early start took me through the Cotswolds and eventually to a different River Avon via two heavy downpours! then it was a train down to Dorchester to start the Gabycon!

Just ran across this. This con is actively seeking trans and gay cosplayers.

Flamecon

When I got new glasses last month, I decided to do something I've wanted to for years. I got myself a pair of girly glasses. (Pictured above.) When I go out as me, which I do often, it helps people recognize that I'm feminine.

After five years and five months, I decided to (finally) change my username here. So, yeah, no longer Anansi, now Page of Wands. Cheers!

My condolences to my neighbours in the west with the choice for BREXIT :(. *sigh* It's the end of a period /era that started with the Union of Coal and Steel (predecessor current EU from the late '40 early '50's). It makes me wonder about humanity future especially with 'reading' similar things to the 1920's.

And it isn't over yet ...

Lynne

For all those attending Gabycon this coming weekend 24-26th June here is some very important information.

The informal Friday evening meal will be at the Trumpet Major pub on the edge of Dorchester (Google still shows it as The Original Thomas Hardy Inn) - aim for Maxgate Hardy's house, it's practically next door. It's on Allington Avenue, Dorchester DT1 2AB for satnavs. Table is booked for 7.30, eat at 8.00pm.

Anyone who cannot make Friday but who wishes to join us on Saturday or Sunday should PM myself here through BC/TS.

As I said in a previous post, my exams are finished. Don't have anything on paper about before the results before 15h55 next Monday but it seems I passed all exams. Lets hope those teachers weren't pulling my leg.

So now, even if it's the start of the summer holidays and I probably already have an internship, I'm sending out mails to ask if it would be possible to do an internship with their organisation. So far I only contacted 4.

I wish I had been told about these risks before I had gender surgery
http://mobile.wnd.com/2016/06/i-wish-i-had-been-told-about-t...

I'm almost 100% certain it is not here on BCTS.

I remember coming across a website and/or story on the web several years ago that was a super-hero type story. The difference was the person didn't gain their powers (kinda like a cross between Superman and Firestorm - sorta) until after they had suffered an accident that left them a full paraplegic.

I remember it was a woman hero who could fly and when in costume she would ALWAYS be hovering above the ground because her legs were paralyzed and useless.

I just read this piece. Very thought provoking.
It really is time that the US military got with it.
http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-36429860

Samantha

So, June is well on its way and the Gabycon is fast approaching! There will be a special news flash next week with programme details so if you are planning on coming look out for that.

There is new Gaby here and with a following wind Book 16 will be complete next week!

This weekend I'm off camping at York Cycle Rally so I'm hoping the weather gods are looking amicably down on us!

So take care and remember to check here next week for the very latest Gaby news!

http://johnpavlovitz.com/2016/06/13/the-forgotten-children-k...

Heartwrenching....

Hi, The story I'm looking for is about a girl who is kidnapped by a drug cartel in south america. She escapes but is recaptured and raped on an alter in the jungle. The goddess finds an ex marine and changes him into a female to avenge her and get the girl to safety.

The good news first. I passed at least one exam (19/25 so Yeuh ;) ) and I'm losing weight (double Yeuh :D )

Now the bad part. Everything, except school, I touch does a 'crash and burn'. and it's getting to me. . My Mom spending another 2 weeks in the hospital due to a little 'crise' didn't help. The general situation in the world isn't helping either ( thinking about a Heinlein quote right now).

So here I am just like during the first semester exams almost hitting the bottom and I got the feeling I'll keep on falling.

Cathy, I meant to tell you how much you are appreciated yesterday but I got sidetracked fighting with fixing an oil line on a John Deere. Short excuse is the line runs into the bottom of an oil cooler, reservoir and half the front end of the tractor needs to be disassembled to get to it. Another engineering design flaw? I spent yesterday screaming at the stupid designers.

I'm calmer this morning after getting to bed at 1:00 up at 4:00 and looking at tractor pieces scattered over half of God's Creation.

Just for fun, a few things the past few days. Ruined a tire when I ran over a chisel point in the dirt. Stop leaving equip out to get buried and that wouldn't have happened. Ricky runs tire shop in the town of a population of five or six hundred called and said he had to put a new tire on the rim as the sidewall had been cut open. I stopped to pick up my tire and a young man gets out of his pickup at the same time. He was all cowboy from the dog in the truck with him, to his old cowboy hat, denim shirt, pants, and old boots. That's pretty well normal around here.

Perhaps it is the right time for 'None of the Above' to be added to the ballot papers?

Samantha